


O' Captains My Captains

by levicorpyutani



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mild Racial Language, Musical Number, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Sad Ending, Semi-Slow Burn, WWII
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-07-08 17:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19873126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levicorpyutani/pseuds/levicorpyutani
Summary: Deanna Bradford has never had the easiest life, from a chronic heart condition, to the death of her father and a falling out with her mother. But Deanna will not give up, so when a German doctor gives her the chance of lifetime she takes it with both hands and won't let go. Along the way she faces the trials of being a woman in the army, makes new friends, finds love and so much more. Takes place during CA:TFA





	1. Old Wounds

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [America's Liberty](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/500038) by clarinetgirl628. 



> I want to be clear that this Fic is a remixed version of the Fic America's Liberty by clarinetgirl628 over on fanfiction.net. I encourage you to go read it, though I should warn you it's been long abandoned.
> 
> Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8250787/1/America-s-Liberty
> 
> I chose the word remixed rather than inspired as I have taken some dialogue and the initial premise. I want to get this all out in the open. 
> 
> I was an old reader and having gotten nostalgic (thanks Endgame) I ventured back to the old fics I read back in the day I wanted to give it a new lease on life. 
> 
> All the original characters have been given new names or new ones have been created in their place. let me know what you think in the comments below.

Deanna Bradford was close to crying. She felt somewhat stupid for even coming, of course the army would reject her, but she had to at least try. She looked at the cardstock again. 4F. This was bullshit. Absolute bullshit.

It listed her tachycardia as the reason for rejection, stating that her particular condition deemed anybody with it unfit for service.”

The woman just shook her head. She didn’t buy it one bit. She knew that plenty of men had the same condition as her and had been enlisted anyways. It was because she was a woman, and they didn’t want her there. It felt like a punch in the gut. It reminded her of her mother and their rocky relationship.

She had long since cut the woman out of her life. She appreciated all that the mother had gone through to raise her and her older brother after their father died of a heart attack, but it didn't make the fact that she spent all her waking moments molding her daughter into a proper, (and by proper she meant Victorian), lady any less infuriating.

Deanna remembered her reviled pet name “Little Birdie.”

“Oh, Little Birdie aren’t you just precious.”

“Little Birdie don’t play with that, that’s for Kevin not you.”

“Birdie time for church.”

It made her want to gag.

She remembered the constant remarks about her posture.

"Sit up straight dear."

“Keep your shoulders high, Little Birdie”

“Chin up.”

She remembered the awful home economics classes she was forced to take.

"But Mommy I want to take Woodshop!"

"Oh, Little Birdie, why would you ever want to take Woodshop? You don’t need it, but you do need to learn how to cook and clean for your husband and children. I mean who else will do it?"

Deanna, was forced to go and she hated every second of it. She would stare at her simmering sauces as her anger simmered along with them. She wasn't even a bad cook, she just hated that she didn't have any choice about being there.

But Deanna finally had enough when she turned eighteen. She would be graduating high school soon and was considering college. With appliedthe hello of her guidence counselor she had applied to NYU. She didn't expect much to come from it, but much to her surprise, was accepted.

Deanna thought it would be a reasonable proposition, as she only wanted to pursue an English Degree. She genuinely loved literature, got straight As in English class and even wrote some poetry herself. But then she brought the prospect up with her mother.

“What on earth would you need college for? You aren’t going to be becoming a scientist or something like that.” Her Mother said in complete disbelief. 

“I know mother, but they also have English programs and you know how much I love writing.” Deanna countered.

“You don’t need to go to College just to write. Besides what good would a degree do?”

Deanna was getting pretty angry. She knew where the conversation was going, but she was going to have her mother say it to her face.

“Fine, tell me mother, what do you think I should do with my life?”

“Birdie if you want my honest opinion, you'd already be engaged, preferably to someone wealthy, be married sooner rather than later and be with child too, hopefully within the first year.”

Deanna’s blood was boiling. Suddenly everything just started flooding back. Every remark ever, chide, every choice undermined and now her college dream had just been torn out from under with just one answer. Her mother had never supported her and now Deanna knew she never would. She needed to learn, to grow, to breathe, and she knew she had no more air left here.

“Goodbye Mother.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say goodbye?”

“Yes, Mother, I’m leaving.”

She heard her mother’s screaming protests echoing as she packed her things, but she didn't care, she wasn’t going to stay in that house after that. Besides she was eighteen, she could leave if she wanted to.

She ended up spending a few weeks with her best friend Mavis Rambeau, a kindhearted, young colored woman, while she finished her school year and looked for a job.

She and her mother barely spoke to each other anymore, not even when her older brother Kevin got engaged.

Since then she had mostly just worked in the children’s section of a library. She liked the kids, the work kept her busy and relatively happy, but this wasn’t exactly what she wanted out of life. She wasn’t exactly sure what that was until the news of Pearl Harbor.

She had done her best with the tin collection and the blood donation, and she felt less useless. But then Kevin got drafted, she knew she wanted nothing more than to be there with him defending her country and kick some Nazi ass. Unfortunately for her the 4F in front of her said that that was not going to happen. 

She got herself her dressed and walked out the door when she saw a small blond gentleman holding another piece of cardstock also marked with a 4F. The man was her height, a short five foot five and she noticed that he was pretty scrawny as well.

“Excuse me Ma’am. What are looking at?” the blond man asked her. 

Deanna realized she was staring.

"Sorry, I'm Deanna Bradford." She stuck her hand out, the man shifted awkwardly but eventually took his hand out and shook hers.

"Name's Steve Rogers, I hope you don’t you mind if I ask, but why were you trying to enlist? I don’t want to seem…um I don’t know..." He stammered.

Deanna could tell this man was pretty awkward around woman.

"It’s fine. Look Steve, I’m not going to give you a life story, but let’s just say I’ve seen people I care about suffer unfair treatment for very stupid reasons. When I heard what has been going on overseas I knew I cannot just sit and do nothing. I’m not going to let the Nazi’s get away with the fucked-up shit they’ve been doing in Europe anymore. What about you?

Steve was caught a bit off guard. The lady certainly had quite the colorful vocabulary

"It’s a bit complicated but I guess it boils down to me not liking bullies no matter where they come from. Is that a stupid reason?

“I don’t know what everyone else would say But I’d say no. It sounds pretty noble if you ask me.”

“Thank you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter either way, they told me I’m unfit for service." He laughed in disgust in his disappointment of his strength or lack thereof in his case.

"Me too. They say it's because of my tachycardia, but I know that’s just a justification since they don't want any females on the battlefield." Deanna said dismayed.

Steve smiled slightly at this Miss Bradford. She really was something else.

"Well, if it were up to me Miss, you'd be shipping off tomorrow."

She smiled warmly at him.

“Thank you.”

Deanna glanced at her watch.

"Oh no! I’m really sorry but I have to get going right now, I have a dinner to get to, but It was a pleasure to meet you Steve."

Before he could get a word in, Deanna was already racing off into the crowd of pedestrians.

Ten minutes later, Deanna finally burst through the doors of the lobby of the apartment building and rushed to the elevator.

“Sixth floor please” She told the operator.

He nodded closed the door, activated the levers and they began to ascend.

She was a bit late by this point. Though she was pretty sure Helen would understand, Deanna didn’t want to push her luck, so once the elevator reached its destination she ran down the hall until she reached apartment number six zero five and knocked on the door. Soon enough Helen opened the door with a smile on her face.

The two women hugged.

“Dee you made it!” Helen said elated.

“Happy to be here, listen I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Hey it’s okay don’t even worry about it.”

“So, what’s for dinner?”

“Um Deanna there’s something I should probably tell you first.”

“Tell me what.? Oh God Kevin isn’t dead, is he?”

“No, no it’s not that, thank the lord. It’s just, well.”

Siting at Helen’s kitchen table was Her Mother, Ellie Bradford. She glared at her daughter. If looks could kill Deanna would be six feet under right then and there.

"You're late Deanna.” Ellie said sternly.

Deanna turned back around to her Brother’s fiancé, dumbfounded and angry.

“What the hell is she doing here Helen?” Deanna demanded. 

“I’m sorry Dee, she just showed up at my door out of the blue about twenty minutes ago. Said she wanted to give me some company since I must be so lonely without Kevin. I’m not happy about it either but I couldn’t just turn her away.”

Deanna took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

“I get it, it’s not your fault, but don’t expect me to talk too much to her.”

“Fair enough.”

Dinner was a mostly silent awkward affair. Deanna tried to keep her head down she didn’t want to cause a fight. She did her best to just keep well enough alone.

Helen did her best as peace keeper keeping what few topics they talked about light.

Deanna was about to ask Helen for some more water when her mother finally broke the silence.

“Deanna if I taught you anything, it’s that it is unacceptable to be late to a prior commitment, what could you possibly be doing that cause you to be twenty minutes late to this dinner?"

Deanna wanted to point out that Helen wasn’t even mad and that she was not invited unlike herself and had just showed up without any permission or warning whatsoever, but held her tongue not wanting to make the situation worse.

“I was with Mavis, I just lost track of time is all.” she answered simply.

Unfortunately for Deanna, her mother had the uncanny ability to tell when her children were lying to her and saw right through her tall tale.

"Deanna Florence Bradford, you and I both know that’s not true, I don’t want to have ask you again, why were you late?"

Finally, Deanna took a deep breath looked down at the floor like a naughty child, and replied,  
"I went to enlist."

The vein in her mother’s forehead began to bulge and her skin began to turn a deep shade of red.

"WHAT! WERE! YOU! THINKING!?”

“They didn’t accept me.”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER! WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU HAD THE ABSURD NOTION THAT YOU THOUGHT THEY WOULD!”

“Mother please…”

Ellie cut her daughter off.

“GOOD GOD, DEANNA! NO WONDER YOU STILL AREN’T MARRIED, FOR GODS SAKE YOU ARE ALMOST TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD. WHY ARE YOU STILL ACTING LIKE A CHILD? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START ACTING LIKE A PROPER LADY?”

Despite her best efforts Deanna just couldn’t hold in her rage any longer. Her mother always brought out the worst in her and it had reached the point where she just lost control.

“OH, I’M ACTING LIKE A CHILD? SAYS THE WOMAN WHO STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AT DINNER, A DINNER THAT SHE WASN’T EVEN INVITED TO MIGHT I ADD! AND MAYBE I WANTED TO DO MORE WITH MY LIFE THAN JUST SIT AROUND ALL DAY BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT!”

Deanna was seething, this is exactly why she stopped talking with her mother all those years ago, being with her was like navigating a mine field, though she suspected she’d be far better at that, than she’d ever be interacting with this woman. She just wanted to punch something. However, she turned her head and noticed Helen who was looking very uncomfortable being caught in the middle of this, in her own apartment no less. It wasn’t fair to her, so Deanna decided to be the bigger person. She quickly apologized to Helen, rose up from her seat, and put on her jacket.

"Where do you think you’re going?" Her mother asked as Deanna grabbed her bag and pushed her chair in.

"For a walk. I need to some air.”

She turned to her future Sister in Law, rather mortified.

“I’m so sorry Helen, I shouldn’t have shouted, I just need to clear my head before we go to the expo, don’t worry, I'll be back soon."

Helen gave a curt nod, indicating to Deanna that she had her permission to leave.

Her mother began to protest, but decided it was a waste of her breath, it was clear that her daughter had no intention of staying or speaking to her.

Deanna got herself to the lobby and walked out onto the streets of New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deanna is partially based on Tangled's Rapunzel and Rebecca Pearson from This Is Us, Which makes sense considering my headcanon is the lovely Mandy Moore as Deanna.  
> I figured she would be a loving kind person but also very opinionated and doesn't take shit from anyone. 
> 
> Also as for Deanna's family (I'm a serial fan-caster bear with me)
> 
> Helen Miller-Kristen Bell
> 
> Ellie Bradford-Demi Moore
> 
> Kevin Bradford- Adam Scott
> 
> (I'm Sorry)
> 
> Also now that the whole of the Infinity saga is out I figured I would incorporate some elements from later movies. Did you catch the name of Deanna's best friend? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed and more is on the way.


	2. New Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna, bites off a bit more than she can chew.

Deanna had been walking down the streets of Helen’s Brooklyn neighborhood for a while, when she heard a yelping sound.

She had no idea why, but the voice sounded familiar. She ran closer to investigate.

“What’s going on? Who’s there?” She asked almost involuntarily and then cursed for drawing attention to herself. 

She received no answer, but the noise became louder as she found herself passing by an alley. She glanced over at two men mid fight.

One was much larger than the other and he was wailing mercilessly on the smaller man. She was absolutely horrified.

The small man tried to fight back and shielded himself with the lid of a garbage can. However, he was no match and the assailant pulled the lid away and punched his victim, knocking him right into the pavement, causing the poor guy to hit his head on the ground. Hard.

“What the hell are you doing? You’re gonna kill him you maniac!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

The bigger man got up.

“Look Lady I don’t who you think…”

She stopped listening to the asshole’s blather when she got a good look at his target.

“Oh my god.” She whispered.

On the ground was the very same man she had met outside the Recruitment Office, bleeding and barely able to stand up on his own power.

"Steve?" it was definitely him. Deanna quickly ran over to them and tried to get to Steve as he attempted to stand back up.

"Hey, leave him the hell alone!" Deanna shrieked, as she tried to get to him. Unfortunately she wasn’t much of a match for this guy either and he easily pushed her aside, knocking her on her ass, continuing his assault on Steve.

She was angry. She didn’t know what came over her, whether it was bravery or stupidity, but she wasn’t going to let this stand.

"I said, leave him the hell alone!" Deanna yelled as she proceeded to kick him in the back of the knees.

To her disappointment, he didn’t fall over, but she did throw him off his balance long enough to distract him and to get to Steve.

“You! Little! BITCH!” He yelled before pushing her again, luckily Steve was able to break her fall.

She turned around to face this Neanderthal, utterly enraged. She was about to go for his family jewels, when she saw a stocky man in an army uniform coming their way.

“Great the jerk brought back up.” she grumbled.

However, much to Deanna's surprise, the solider lifted their attacker up by the collar 

"Hey pick on someone your own size, and sex for that matter!” The soldier yelled at him. He then dropped the attacker to the ground, kicked him in the ass and sent him running.

"Are you alright Miss?” The soldier asked.

“Yeah I’m okay. Been through worse than falling.” Deanna said. 

“I see here you met my buddy Steve.”

“Yeah, we met earlier today, he was probably the only person who was actually nice to me on what’s been a not so pleasant day so I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing.”

“Well thanks for standing up for my friend. For most of my life I’ve been the only one who’d do it. I must say though you’re either very brave or very reckless, and I’m really not sure which.”

“Honestly neither do I...oh I don’t think I ever got your name, I’m Deanna Bradford by the way” She reached out her hand and he followed suit and shook it.

"Sergeant James Barnes ma'am, but you can call me Bucky. Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, Bucky. Might I ask where you got that nickname from if you don’t mind?”

“Middle name’s Buchannan. I never much cared for either of my names, but Bucky just fit me better than Jimmy, so it stuck.”

“Fair enough. Oh, Steve are you okay?” She asked.

"I’ll be fine, this happens more often than you’d think.” Steve said.

“It’s true, sometimes I think he likes getting punched.” Bucky said slightly amused.

Deanna wasn’t sure if she found this fact to be hilarious or horrifying and began laughing nervously.

“Well I’m just glad everything’s okay and thank you again Bucky, it was really great to….” Deanna said as abruptly turned her head as he heard the chiming of nearby clock.

"Oh shit, I’m late again. It was nice to see you guys but I really have to go." Deanna said quickly before she ran out of the alley leaving a speechless Bucky and a laughing Steve behind.

"Quite the mouth on her." Bucky said shocked.

Steve patted his best friend's arm while nodding his head.

“She really is something.” He said in response.

* * *

Deanna ran back down the streets, towards the direction of Helen’s apartment.

She looked in the window of a closed shop to asses her appearance. Not too bad, but her butt was kinda dirty from when she had been knocked on her ass. She quickly took her coat and tied it around her waist to cover it up.

She ran hoping she wasn’t too late. The plan was to go to the expo together before heading back to their own apartments. She didn’t want to mess that up just because she couldn’t seem to avoid fights that day.

She quickly made a beeline back to the building, only to see Helen in the lobby waiting when she arrived.

“I was about to call a search party, what happened?” Helen asked worried.

“Sorry I ran into someone on my walk.”

“A friend?”

“Kind of. Anyways, I’m really sorry about missing dessert. Actually, I’m just really sorry about how I behaved today in general. I’ve been a very crappy guest today, being late, having a shouting match with mom in your home, bailing in the middle of dinner, being late again. Honestly I’d understand if you don’t want me to come with you to the expo after all.”

“Deanna, don’t feel bad, you were in a pretty bad position. The only thing I ask of you is to not make a habit of this, but If you still want to go, I still want to go.”

“What did I do to end up with such a great lady as my future Sister in Law?”

Helen just smiled in response.

“Oh, I need to ask, is mom still with you?” Deanna asked, suddenly remembering why she had left in the first place.

“Thankfully not, she said she had to go back home, only had time to stop by for dinner.”

“How do you put up with her? Ever since I stopped talking with her she attached herself to you like a leech.”

“With a lot of whiskey.” The two women chuckled. “But seriously, mainly I’ve learned to just tune out most of her talk and just occasionally humor some of her more harmless propositions. Also whiskey.”

“I’ll keep in that in mind.”

“So, on a lighter note, are you looking forward to seeing “The One and Only Howard Stark” Dee?" Deanna rolled her eyes. “I’ll take that as a no.” Helen noted.

“I Just feel he’s wasting his potential is all. For one thing has the man ever made anything actually useful and widely adopted? Not that I know of. And more importantly, couldn’t he use all that money to help further actual progress? I mean I feel like all he does is just make jet packs, glowey things and other comic book toys, and then just goes home to a giant house.”

If it was up to her, Deanna would’ve used that money to make changes. She’d help champion laws that would give woman more opportunities and respect, and give people like Mavis more rights. She remembered one time she was walking with her friend, when a passerby called Mavis a particularly egregious racial slur. She wanted to kick that man’s ass for calling her friend that, but walked away despite her better judgement. Deanna tried comforting her friend and told her what she suffered wasn’t right, but Mavis had simply told her she had heard it so many times that she had become numb to it and had stopped caring at that point. Deanna didn’t think that was right. What gave people the right to harass someone just because they were different?

She sighed. She supposed it wasn’t Howard Stark’s fault that unjust discrimination was commonplace. However if he really wanted bring any actual change to the lives of the people, he could use some his fortune and influence to champion civil rights and not just make gadgets.

“Well whether you find him overrated or not, I still think this is going to be fun.” Helen said.

Deanna nodded her head. She tried to enjoy the fall air as the two of them eventually made their way into the expo. Deanna had to admit it did look rather fascinating even if she knew she’d never use any of the things being presented tonight. Just as she was beginning to enjoy herself, taking in all the prototypes on display, the music started.

Deanna turned, as a formed crowd, looking up at the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!" The music played and the five show girls gestured to Mr. Stark as he came on stage next to an ordinary looking car.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all?" The showgirls took away the false tires, Howard pulled a lever and the car hovered.

"Whoa." Helen whispered, completely amazed.

“I don’t think so, just wait, in three, two, one.” Deanna said unconvinced.

And then suddenly, the car let off sparks and fell to the ground with a loud crash.

“And what do you know, I was right.” Deanna quipped.

"I did say a few years, didn't I?" He laughed it off and moved on to his next invention.

Deanna and Helen stayed for about half an hour before Helen said she was getting bored and needed to get home. Deanna nodded and hugged Helen before she went off into the crowd, leaving Deanna alone.

Deanna walked around aimlessly for awhile, taking somewhat of an interest in the android on display, but she was mostly just bored. This whole expo turned out to be a big disappointment. She was glad she got to go somewhere other than her job and got to spend some time with Helen, but they promised something akin to the 1893 World's Fair and all she got was broken gadgets she would never use. She was about to leave herself when she spotted a sign for recruiting.

 _Maybe I could give it one more shot? S_ he thought. _Come on don’t be stupid. But If I can’t stick to my values what am I? They’re just going to say no again and blame it on tachycardia. No, I can’t be afraid._

Against all her better judgement, she began making her way over to the recruiting building.

“Well here I go again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Plot thickens. 
> 
> Yeah I know. This is more about establishing character.
> 
> It will only get more exciting from here.
> 
> Also in case you missed it the 1893 Chicago World's Fair was a massive historical exhibition to display American Exceptionalism. 
> 
> I'm a bit of a history buff (despite my liberal breaking of it to make the story work)so i'll be sprinkling in a few historical references and events every now and again. Hope you enjoyed! More coming soon!


	3. Chances and Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For so long the whole world was telling her no, but now Deanna finally gets a chance, but that also means saying goodbye.

Deanna walked into the recruiting office. The officers stared at her, a few even laughed. She briefly considered just turning around and saying,  
“Sorry I got lost.” as she was fairly certain they were just going to turn her away entirely.

However, and she didn’t know which god smiled down on her, one kind looking red headed officer decided to humor her. Odds are they would just reject her again. This particular officer just didn’t want to humiliate her outright. She didn't care however. She simply took the forms he handed her and filled them out, before following the officer to a small room.

“Alright take a seat in that chair. Someone will be in to see you shortly.” He said.

“Yes sir.”

Soon enough a male nurse briefly came in, gave her one look, and muttered, “Stay here.”

And before she could even ask why, he walked right back out.

Panic started to build up in her. What if they arrested her, or deported her or god knows what?

"Why did I think this was a good idea?" she whispered to herself. She thought about making a quick exit, but she just couldn’t get herself to move. A few moments passed, before another much older doctor walked in with a clipboard in hand.

"Mizz Deanna Florence Bradford?" His voice was rough with a thick German accent.

"Yes sir."

"My name iz Doctor Abraham Erskine, I’m vith zee Strategic Scientific Reserve or SSR.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“I see from your file zis is your second attempt.”

“Was I not supposed to do that? I’m sorry doctor I just wanted to try to...”

“No, no, you are in no trouble Mizz Bradford. I am simply impressed. It is a rare sight to see a voman attempting to enlist, let alone multiple times. You must be very brave Miss Bradford. But alas, I see you 'ave tachycardia. Such a shame, zee country could use someone like you."

He scribbled something on the clipboard and turned to Deanna.

“May I ask vhy you want to fight in zis var?” he asked her.

She let out a sigh. She felt as though she could trust this doctor. She didn’t know why, but he reminded her of her late father.

"Honestly, I don't want to fight anyone at all, and I’ll never go out of my way to pick up one, but I won’t just stand idly by when something unjust is happening right in front of my eyes. I don’t know if this means anything to you doctor, but my best friend is a colored woman and it saddens and angers me when I see her be mistreated just because she was born that way, as if she’s less than just because she’s different, and when I hear what the Axis Powers are doing I know I can’t let them get away with it. I guess I just want to defend those who can’t defend themselves and if that means kicking some Nazi ass I’m all for it even if it costs me my life."

"If given zee chance to, vould you join zee men on zee battlefield?" He asked her.

“Without a second thought.” She said.

He gave her a nod.

"I ‘ave created a procedure. I need a male and a female subject for it. It vill make you, stronger, more zan strong. You vould be zee peak of human potential." Deanna thought about what he said.

“Doctor Erskine I would be happy to take the opportunity but I need to ask why do you need a female subject as well?”

“Because humanity iz more zan just men. To ignore half the vorld vould be senseless.”

She had a hard time comprehending what she was being told, this doctor had created something that could make her not only healthy but he also saw her as more than just a woman and this meant she could go to war, she could fight.

"What would I have to do Doctor?”

"You vould start off by going through Bazic Training, and if ve saw that you vere right for it zen you vould go through zee procedure."

Basic? She began imagining it in her head. Seeing herself in uniform, toughing it up, going though course after course like the way her brother had described in his letters. She liked the idea, no she loved it. Deanna was going prove herself to these men and to the rest of the world.  
"Dr. Erskine, I’m ready as I’ll ever be and if it means I get to fight, I’ll do anything. You can count me in."

“Then velcome to Army, Mizz Bradford.”

The doctor said as he pulled out a stamp from his coat pocket, slammed it against the clipboard and gave Deanna a piece of cardstock along with a packet. The card looked exactly like one she had received earlier that day, except this one didn't bare a 4F.

1A. She was officially enlisted.

Deanna felt like she was spinning. She was sure this had to be a dream, and actually had to slap herself to convince herself otherwise.

Deanna got back to her apartment later that night and crashed onto her bed. To say it had been a crazy day would be an understatement. She couldn’t believe she was going to be a soldier. It felt like miracle. She didn’t know what she did to make God smile down on her but she was thankful. In her excitement she began to hyperventilate.

It took a few minutes but she eventually regained some degree of composure.

Deanna took out the packet Doctor Erskine gave her from her bag. She needed to know what it said. It had everything, location of the camp, location of pick up, required items, forbidden items, schedule, the whole nine yards. The packet also told her she would have to leave for training on the following Monday. It was Friday night, she only had two days to get ready.

Two days. Just two days before her life got turned upside down.

The Sunday afternoon before she left she had checked every item off her list. All she had left to do was to wait for tomorrow, so she used the last of her spare time to visit Mavis’s apartment and say goodbye.

* * *

“So, you got into the army after a German doctor recruited you for some kind of experiment? What does it do? Is it safe? For the love of god Deanna please tell me you’re not going to be turned into some kind of blob monster from those pulp magazines?” Mavis said, exasperated.

“That’s about the long and short of it. I know it’s a lot to take in. I wish I could tell you more but I honestly don’t know that much. A lot of it is classified, but he said they needed a female test subject and I was handpicked.”

“You, handpicked for anything?” Mavis chuckled

Deanna laughed in agreement.

“Yeah, I know it’s absurd, but if it gives me a chance to fight for those who can’t I have to take it, don’t I? Also, seriously I’m trusting you not to tell a soul about this, especially not my mother.”

“What kind of a monster do you think I am? You know you can trust me I swear that your secret will go with me to the grave.” Mavis said. 

“Mavis Jolene Rambeau, you are the most over dramatic person I know, but I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I love you so much, you are the sister I never got to have. You’ve been by my side through so much, I never would have made it that year I stopped talking to Mom without you, and I’m just going to miss you so much.”

“Deanna look at me, you are the strongest person I ever met. If there’s any woman in the world who can teach those bonehead recruits what’s what, it’s you. I know you can do it.”

“Thanks Mavis. I won’t forget that.”

I know you won’t. Just promise me you'll write.”

“You know I will.”

The two women hugged, before talking for a while longer about lighter topics.

Eventually Deanna looked up at the clock, it was almost 9:00 pm.

“I should probably go home, I leave for Basic pretty early in the morning.”

“Go, do what you need to.”

Deanna hugged her friend goodbye and made it back to her apartment.

She crept into her bed. It dawned on her this would be the last night here in Queens, she didn’t even know when she’d be back. Tears began to well in her eyes as she thought about everything she’d be leaving behind. She let them fall, she’d rather it be here in her home, than at Basic with all those soldiers judging her. No she would let the last of her doubt out right here, right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're finally going somewhere. 
> 
> Well we had to go somewhere, and I'd rather not drag my feet too long.
> 
> I am going to let you know I prefer chapters on the shorter side so please be aware of that.
> 
> I hope you liked Mavis as well. She isn't going to be the biggest character here but she's definitely a very important person in Deanna's life. Almost her Bucky, though unlike Bucky she will not be going to war. I'll go into more details late but she's eventually going to be Maria Rambeau's aunt, not too important and it's not going to affect the story in anyway, but let me have my little connections. (Also Fancaster alert- I personally imagine Janelle Monae as Mavis, based on her performance in Hidden Figures.)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. Stick around for more.


	4. Struggles and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna arrives at Lehigh and nothing is as expected.

Deanna woke up around 3:45 am or 0345 hours as she should get used to saying. She made it to the departure point, waited for about half an hour before getting on the bus.  
It was a long trip, over three hours, but eventually, somewhere in New Jersey, the bus arrived at its destination.

She stepped off the bus and scanned her surroundings. Directly ahead of her was a soldier with a clipboard. Most likely her first point of contact. To her right she saw the recruits training. Some were jogging while others were going through an obstacle course and even more were down on the ground doing pushups and finally to her left were the barracks and the mess hall.

Deanna walked up towards the soldier with the clipboard.

"Excuse me, sir?" The soldier's hazel eyes snapped up to her. "I’m here to check in.”

The man, looked at her with a shocked and confused expression.

“Sir?” she asked.

He shook his head, before glancing over his clipboard again.

"I assume that you're Private Bradford?"

Deanna nodded. She knew she was the only woman on that list.

"They told me you were coming. Follow Me.”

“Yes sir.”

They began walking down the dirt path but she noticed that they were walking further down the straight path rather than the left where the barracks were. However, before she could really think about that she was distracted by several soldiers and staff as they looked at her with disgust and confusion. A few even wolf-whistled her way, like she was goddamn piece of meat.

 _Gross, have none of these men ever seen a woman before?_ she thought.

They walked up the stairs into a white mid-ranged size building, clearly not a standard barrack. But she continued to follow not wanting to get in trouble.

Inside, they walked down the hall to a room with a few beds one unoccupied clearly for her.

Taking in her surroundings, seeing white uniforms and the smell of antiseptic, it immediately became clear where she was.

“Sir isn’t this the Nurses quarters?”

“We cannot have you bunk in the barracks, it would be highly inappropriate and unsafe for you.”

“But I’m a soldier shouldn’t I be with the other recruits and not people with a completely different profession and schedule.”

“Again.” The soldier said getting increasingly annoyed “It’s highly inappropriate for you to be in the barracks with the male recruits. You will be safer and happier here with your own sex. Please understand this is simply a bunking arrangement. You will still operate on the schedule of the recruits.”

Deanna sighed

“Yes sir.” she said resigned.

The soldier left and she began unpacking. She saw some nurses coming in and out and she attempted to introduce herself, but they all turned away, clearly perturbed. Looking at the contents of her bag and her outfit, they knew Deanna wasn’t one of them and it seemed they wanted nothing to do with her. It seemed that everyone here thought she was a weirdo even the few other women.

 _You have got to be shitting me! I’m soldier, I deserve better than this!_ She thought her anger starting to boil.

She was about to kick the wall, before she stopped herself. She took a few breaths in and told herself to calm down. Throwing a fit wasn’t going to help. Life was unfair and it dawned on her that by choosing the army it was only going to get worse and she was just going to have to accept it as much as it sucked.

She still wasn't happy about the situation though and was grumbling under her breath as she dumped her bag onto the bed and flopped down onto it.

"Fuck this."

She finished unpacking in silence. 

After awhile she looked at her wrist. It was 1132 hours. Lunch was at 1200 hours. Deanna pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and a pen from her things. She pulled out the chair from the desk across the room and sat down, placing the paper down onto the desk and began to jot down a letter.

_Dear Mavis,_

_Well I’m officially at Basic Training, and I’m already off to bad start._   
_I mean I knew it would suck, but I figured it would be more physically taxing than anything._   
_I was in for a rude surprise when I arrived. I’ve been separated from the other soldiers like I’m some kind of alien. I know I shouldn’t complain too much about this knowing what you’ve been though, but It’s just what’s going on and I’m not happy. I’m still training with them of course, they made that very clear, but they stuck me in the nurses’ quarters instead of the barracks, just because I’m a woman._   
_Like I said before, everyone here sees me as some kind of alien instead of a fellow soldier. Even the nurses, other women mind you, are giving me stares. This is not going to be fun._   
_You're the only one who ever saw me as me and not some fragile girl. My mother made me act like a proper lady even when I was just a kid. My Dad, God rest his soul, he never forced me to behave a certain way but treated me like I was made of glass and would break if I did anything with risk._   
_Kevin will always see me as his little sister. He always worried about me, He would fuss over how I needed to be protected._   
_But you treated me like a person, and I love you for that, you were there for me when the rest of the world wasn’t. So, thank you for being the best friend a girl like me could ask for. I wish you were here with me now._

_With love,_

_Deanna._

Deanna sealed the envelope closed and stuck it into her back pocket. She would mail it after lunch. She looked down at her schedule after lunch she was to report to the base’s barber for a haircut. She knew it was coming but she wasn’t happy about it, she loved her long locks.

“Suck it up, you don’t have a choice.” She told herself.

Deanna bounced up from her seat and walked out the door. The air was crisp and clean. A stark contrast from the strong scent of antiseptic. She passed each building, she noticed several more people giving her looks. She could practically hear their thoughts

_What are you doing here?_

_You don't belong here._

_Why is a weak little girl even allowed here?_

A few were even giving her some disgusting, glances eyeing her “goodies”.

One even had the balls to call out,

“Hey lady nice tits!”

She flipped him off before continuing her way to the mess hall.

“Suck it up.” She told herself again. “Be the bigger person.”

Deanna marched her way to the mess hall. After all the stares she had gotten, she wasn't sure she even wanted to go in, however the rumbling in her stomach could not be ignored and she entered if no other reason than she hadn't eaten all day and she needed food. She made her way over to the end of the line, never once looking up.

After getting her food she took a deep breath, turned around and lifted her head up. There were so many people it was overwhelming. She tried getting a seat at several tables only to be booted away by the men sitting there.

“No.” one bluntly said as she was approaching the table.

Another even flat out told her her to “Piss off woman.”

Getting tired of this treatment, she stood her ground at the next table.

“I’m not getting up, you can just deal with… AHH” she screamed as she fell on her ass.

The dickwads sitting there had gotten up and pulled the chair out from under her in order to physically force her out of the seat.

She started getting seriously frustrated. How she was going to survive army life if she couldn't even find a place to sit and eat.

Taking in a deep breath Deanna looked around once more. Alone in a corner was a table with a sole occupant.

 _Last shot before you sit outside._ Deanna thought before making her way over to the table.

"Hey can I sit here?” She asked in a frank tone.

The man looked up. And she knew that face.

"Wait a minute Steve?" She asked

"Deanna?" He asked, looking slightly confused, but also relieved. Deanna took a seat across from him and set down her tray.

"Are you stalking me or something?" She asked jokingly.

"No of course not.” He laughed awkwardly. “I uh. Well a doctor recruited me, said he needed a test subject, well actually two a male and female one. I’m going to hazard to guess you’re the female test subject candidate.”

“You pretty much hit the nail right on the head.”

He nodded for a moment before a wave of awkward silence washed over them.

"Listen, Steve…if you don't want me here then I can go sit outside." She said.

"No! stay, please! No one else will really talk to me. I know we don’t know each other that well, but at least we aren’t strangers, which makes this easier. I get it if you still don’t want to, but it'd really be great if…uh. Well we're both the odd ones out here so, I guess it would be nice if, you know, we could be friends." He said blushing a light pink shade. He obviously hadn’t gotten any less awkward over the weekend. But she couldn’t help but find it a bit endearing.

It was only her first day at Basic and it seemed like every single person there either wanted nothing to do with her or wanted to jerk off to her. But now there was someone who actually gave her the time of day and treated her like a person, and Deanna wasn't about to let him go.

"Alright Steve, let’s be boot camp buddies." She said smiling.

Steve returned the smile. He closed his book and went to go place it on the bench beside him.

“Wait! Could I take a look?” She asked.

“I…I dunno?” Steve said a bit self conscious.

"Oh, come on! I saw you drawing. Let me see! Don’t make me take it from you!"

“Fine, knock yourself out. Just don’t laugh.”

The drawings were not laugh worthy, they were in fact very beautiful even professional looking. Light was expressed subtly but beautifully. Small details were abounding, like shadow, reflection, even individual strands of someone’s hair It was clear that her new friend had a talent for art and she had no idea what made him think he was no good.

"Steve, I don’t know what you were so worried about. They’re beautiful."

He fidgeted some.

"I uh, I went to art school for a year." He said as Deanna's smile brightened.

“Well I’m sure that helped, but it’s clear you have a gift.” She added.

“Thank you. Okay, what about you? You got any passions?" He asked as she handed the book back to him.

"I’m a writer, particularly in poetry, though some fiction as well. I liked to work on them during my lunch breaks at the library where I worked. Oh here, you might like these.” She said as she pulled a few sheets of folded up paper out of her pocket and handed them to Steve.

“What are these?” He asked.

“Some poems of mine, I’m actually somewhat proud of these, mainly because I spent way too much time meticulously obsessing over them, you can read them when you get the chance." Deanna laughed awkwardly.

"Well I suppose if this doesn't work out, we could always make a children's book together.” Steve mused.

"Don't get your hopes up Stevie Boy." She said.

* * *

They continued on talking about their lives until another figure sat down at their table in a white coat. The two of them instantly recognized him.

"Good afternoon Dr. Erskine," Steve said quietly.

"Good avternoon Steven, and you too Deanna. May I speak vith you two in private? I ‘ave something for the two of you."

"Um, alright Doctor." Deanna said as she and Steve got up from the table and followed the doctor to a secluded area, outside.

Erskine did a double take to make sure they were alone before handing them two packets, bearing an angry red TOP SECRET label on the front.

“Doctor what are these?” Steve asked.

"A good question Steven. Zese are a description of ze procedure. I am showing zeeze to you az you are my first choices and I vant you to be fully aware about vhat vill be done to you. Read zem over thoroughly and feel free to ask me any questions. I just ask you keep zis information to yourselves."

“We will Doctor. Thank you.” Deanna said.

The German scientist gave them to read the files.

**Operation: Rebirth:**

  * **Super soldier.**
  * **Serum by injection**
  * **Enhanced strength**
  * **Enhanced speed**
  * **Increased metabolism**
  * **High immune system**



It was a lot to take in.

"Thank you." Steve said as he and Deanna handed the files back to The Doctor. "We're grateful you wanted us to be aware of all this."

"You're very velcome Steven." He said before looking down at his pocket watch.

"Oh, I am so very sorry but I am needed elsevhere at the zhe moment."

"No problem Doctor." Deanna said as he nodded before heading off, files in hand to some part of them camp where little privates like them were not allowed. 

“Well this is certainly going to be quite the change.” Steve said“

"You can say that again. This seems to be a permanent procedure. That’s great for fighting in the trenches and on the battlefield, but what the hell is going to happen to us after the war?” Deanna asked genuinely concerned.

If she was selected, her life would never be the same. She couldn’t just go back to Queens and pretend like nothing ever happened. And even though she wanted to fight, her own body being a reminder of the war till the day she died was...unsettling.

“Well I guess we’ll be this way for the rest of our lives. But there’s worse ways to live. I mean yeah, it’ll be a change but if you want my honest opinion it would be a welcome one. I’m pretty tired of being weak and sick all the time. It hasn’t exactly been easy and growing up poor and with all sorts of health problems."

“Well, yeah, I guess it’s a good way to put it, there are worse ways to live.”

She glanced at her watch and sighed.

“Time for me to go get that chop, See you later.”

Steve grinned,

"Yeah, yeah, I gotta skedaddle. I'll see you at training tomorrow." Deanna waved.

* * *

Deanna tapped her feet impatiently. The barber was off in a corner arguing with an office worker as she sat in the chair waiting.

"I've never cut a woman's hair before. Let alone one that's a soldier! I don't know how short!" The barber protested.

“I really don’t give a shit, just don’t do anything that will make the little bitch go into hysterics.”

“I heard that!” Deanna shouted!

“Recruit, zip it! And you, just get to that cut. you’re wasting time.”

The barber reluctantly walked over. As he raised the scissors she wanted to scream, but she was soldier and she would control herself. After all the barber was just doing his job.

She watched as her precious hair fell to the floor, piece by piece. By the time he was done it was neatly cut to slightly below her ears. It was shortest it had ever been it had ever been in her life. He handed her a few rubber bands and told her to tie it up whenever she was training, though she wasn't even sure it was long enough to be tied at all anymore, still she took them and thanked the barber.

After the haircut, she got up and mailed her letters to Kevin and Mavis, before heading to the nearest bathroom to look at herself in the mirror.

She would miss her long locks, but she had survived the ordeal and had to admit it didn't look half bad. The short hair suited her. It looked healthier and more manageable and was free from split ends for now.

She would be okay. Training began tomorrow and now she had a boot camp buddy. Things could only get better, she hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well we're getting into the meat of the story.
> 
> We're at camp, struggles are becoming clear (it's never easy being the them in world full of [us]es.) and friendships are sprouting
> 
> One of the things I really enjoyed bringing attention to was the question of what comes after?
> 
> None of the movies ever really addressed this but had he lived what was going to happen to Steve once the war ended. Was he government property or could he just live his life. Not to mention that the procedure was permanent he'd have to live that way for the rest of his life. Now it obviously came in handy during his time in the Avengers but that certainly wasn't the plan. What was going to happen to him? And while I don't have an answer I wanted to shine a light on it.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	5. Strength and Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training begins and Deanna has a lot to prove.

Deanna woke up bright and early the next day to the sound of a bugle horn. She yawned and stretched until she heard cracks and pops. There was maybe ten minutes for her to get ready.  
Reluctantly, Deanna peeled the thin blankets from her body. She made her way to the cramped bathroom across the hall and blasted the cold water. Deanna stripped off her pajamas. In the mirror, staring back at her was a pale, pale girl. That was normal for her. She had always been short, too skinny, and pale with hair so dark it made her even more pale.

She stepped into the cold water as shivers coursed through her. It completely banished any lingering sleepiness.

Carefully stepping out of the shower, Deanna dried off rapidly and dressed in her uniform, before heading out the door Her destination for now would be the mess hall. After lunch the day before, Deanna had looked forward to eating meals with Steve. He was a wonderful person to talk to. It was nice to have a friend at the camp, especially one that was going through the same thing as you. Their conversations had been full of more questions about each other. Swapping stories became one of their favorite things to do while enjoying each other's company. They varied from childhood memories to goals for the future.

They had read over the files once more. Turns out they weren't the only ones being considered for the operation. Steve's competition consisted of buff men with huge egos. Dr. Erskine truly thought She and Steve were their best choices. But the United States military wanted someone with muscle power and a brain the size of a pea pod.

Deanna had no actual competition for her procedure, but she still had to prove herself as well. If they rejected her, the female portion of the experiment would simply get scrapped. It was a lot resting on her shoulders, to prove the worth of her sex.

She stretched and yawned once more before making her way to the mess hall. The stares from her fellow soldiers had yet to cease. If anything, they intensified. Now there were expressions of Yo _u're still here?_ as well.

She walked past people training, they stared. She walked into the mess hall, they stared. She got into line, even the servers stared. She sat at her table with Steve, everyone stared at both of them.

Needless to say, the staring was becoming incredibly annoying.

"It’s not going to stop is it?" She asked.

Steve thought for a moment as he swallowed his food.

"No, it won’t. I don’t know about you but being as weak as I am, people have looked at me like I should just disappear all my life. You've just got to learn to live with it. Tune it out. You can’t let it rule your life, or you’d never be able to get out of bed in the morning.”

"I get it. My best friend Mavis is colored, people give her all kinds of disgusting looks when we’re out and about, and she’s been called some pretty nasty things that I’m not even going to go into. All of this cruelty just because she’s different. I don’t know how people can be so awful to another person, cause when I see Mavis I just see my best friend and I wish the rest of the world could see that too. I won’t claim I know what it’s like for her, but I think I can better understand what she’s had to live though now.”

She let out a sigh just trying to let go of the heaviness of their conversation.

“So, what’s Mavis like.” He asked.

“She’s just amazing, we’ve been friends since I was thirteen. About five years ago I had a falling out with my mother and I left home. Mavis helped me though that rough time, let me stay with her, helped me while I found a job and just supported me in my hour of need.”

“She sounds kinda like Bucky, he was my only real friend my whole life, stood up for me when no one else did and also helped me in a pretty hard time in my life. My mother passed away from Tuberculosis when I was eighteen and he made sure I had a place to stay and people who cared about me and just helped keep my head above water.”

“That’s really great Steve, speaking of which have you heard from Bucky lately?"

Steve's smile dropped a little. Deanna hoped nothing bad happened to the soldier.

"I haven't heard from him in a while actually, not since he was shipped off.” Steve said crestfallen.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Well I suppose no news is good news.”

“True.”

"He was pretty amazed by your language when you met said it was funny seeing a dame-"

"Don't. Call me a dame!" She snapped at him suddenly. Steve jumped back a little.

"I-I'm sorry. I just…I just don't like being called a dame. That's a word to describe a girl who depends on a man to have any kind of life. That was the kind of woman my mother tried to turn me into and. Ugh. Being called a dame makes me feel weak and-and,"

"Hey, I get it," Steve interrupted. "I won't call you the 'd' word anymore."

“I’m honestly kind of embarrassed it ticks me off so much, especially since I can handle being called a lot, including a bitch and even the “C” word, but dame is my silver bullet.”

“Hey It’s okay we’ve all got things we can’t handle.”

They both chuckled and went to resume their meal until another man came up and slapped the back of Steve's head in a "friendly gesture."

"Hey you! Yeah you guys, little shrimp and the rejected riveter. Me and my friends were wondering what they're gonna use you for on the battlefield. Bait?" His two friends laughed behind him. The guy had a short blonde buzz cut and malicious looking eyes. He seemed like the kind of guy Steve hated. A bully.

Deanna wasn't much of an insult kind of person. But this guy made her angry, so she might as well try, no matter how bad it would sound.

"And what are you? The moron who came up with that ridiculous plan?" Deanna asked with mockery dripping from her voice.

The man and his friends stared at the small brunette woman with utter confusion. Was that supposed to be an insult? Sensing this Deanna set down her spoon, patted her lips with a napkin with as much lady like-ness that she could muster.

"Well I'm just saying that if you send out one man to lure the enemy out, he'd be picked off by a sniper because the Nazis would be smart enough not to send their own out. Especially since German education has such high standards. Clearly unlike wherever you're from." She continued.

Steve tried to suppress a laugh.

"Did-did you just call me stupid?" The guy asked, seeming appalled.

Deanna smirked.

"It's a miracle, I was worried that a meatbag like you with an IQ lower than subzero temperatures would understand that." Deanna finished before smiling sweetly and Steve finally broke. He erupted into laughter and even the meatbags' friends chuckled along.

"Listen princess," Deanna gritted her teeth as he went on, "It looks like your a bit too fragile to even be working as a riveter, so what does a dame like you-"

Deanna snapped. It became obvious that this bonehead had been eavesdropping on their conversation. Almost everyone who’d insult her because of her gender would simply call her a bitch, like the officer from yesterday, but this jackass chose dame. He knew her weakness and used it to push her buttons. She was pissed. Deanna stood there fuming, she looked so angry that it was honestly scary. But the bully was stupidly standing his ground.

"What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?"

"You heard me. Dame."

She stood up from her seat before grabbing him by the shirt and raised a fist to his face threatening to punch him.

"Listen carefully, don't ever bother me or my friend again, don’t ever spy on our conversations again and most importantly don’t ever call me a dame again! Do you understand?" She spat out angrily.

“Screw you.” He answered.

The next thing she knew her right hook slammed into his left eye.

"Do you understand now?" She yelled.

“GAH! Alright I understand!” he yelped. “I’ll leave you and your little friend alone.”

He then scrambled back up to his feet, running away, his tail between his legs. Meanwhile Steve was sitting there, mouth agape.

"What?" she asked.

"It’s just wow!"

Deanna smiled sheepishly and sat back down on the bench.

"Steve, I can’t stand it when people get away with hurting others just because they’re different, that’s part of the reason I was recruited in the first place, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let some jerk get away with here. As for the punch, well, I'm not really sure…where that came from. Felt good though."

"Thank you, Deanna. Also, I definitely know not to ever call you a dame," Steve half joked,

"And you remember that Stevie Boy."

* * *

Upon reaching the training grounds the recruits formed a single file line. Compared to the others, Steve and Deanna looked like dwarves, however they stood up straight and were ready to begin their training, just like the rest of them. The other recruits whispering among themselves until they heard a female voice yell,

"Recruits, attention!"

Everyone snapped into perfect posture, something Deanna found rather comfortable.

A woman with short and curled chestnut brown hair walked up to face them. She had red lipstick on and a formal uniform. A soldier came walking up behind her with a bin full of clipboards.

"Gentlemen, and ladies" She added when she spotted Deanna amongst the group. "I'm Agent Carter. I supervise all operations for this division." She slowly made her way down the line. Agent Carter stopped for a moment when she got to Deanna, but continued on.

"What's with the accent Queen Victoria?" It was the man from earlier, now sporting a lovely black eye. "I thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army?"

Deanna's anger flared up once more.

"At least her accent is easy on the ears, besides I last time I checked the U.S. was part of the ALLIED forces not the SOLO forces. So why don't you just shut up, listen to our officer and not get us all assigned extra laps!”

He stepped away a little not wanting another shiner.

"What's your name soldier?" Deanna gulped, worried that Agent Carter was talking to her for her outburst, but the British woman's attention was directed towards the man.

"Gilmore Hodge, Your Majesty," He said smugly.

"Step forward Hodge," She commanded. He did as he was ordered, while looking at his buddies laughing.

"Put your right foot forward." He did as was told once more.

The other soldier started handing out the clipboards.

"Are we gonna wrassle? Cause I got a few moves I know you'll like." Hodge said slyly and winked. Deanna was disgusted and apparently Agent Carter was as well, because she proceeded to punch him.

 _Second one of the day. You should probably keep that trap of yours shut or this is gonna keep happening to you, big shot._ Deanna thought to herself amused.

Hodge was knocked to the ground just as an older man stepped out of a jeep.

"Agent Carter," The agent seemed happy with herself as she turned around.

"Colonel Phillips," She addressed the older army man.

"I can see you're breaking in the candidates." The colonel said as he walked up closer to Hodge. "That's good! Get your ass out of that dirt and stand in line until someone calls your attention and tells you what to do."

Hodge scrambled to his feet much like earlier that day and sniffed. Only to wince at the pain.

"Yes sir!" He yelled, only to wince again.

"General Patton has said that wars are fought with weapons but they are won by men. We are going to win this war because we have the best…men." He faltered a little at the sight of Steve and Deanna but then continued.

"And because they're gonna get better." he side eyed Steve and Deanna with contempt before continuing on.

"Much better. The strategic Scientific Reserve is an allied effort made up of the best minds in the free world. Our goal is to create the best army in history. But every army starts with one man."

He turned to face the recruits.

"At the end of your time here we will choose. They will be the first in a new breed of super-soldiers. And they...will personally escort Adolf Hitler to the gates of Hell."

* * *

They were escorted over to a field where the sun blazed down on them. It was hot. And it was only going to get hotter. Every single recruit around Deanna removed their green button-up. She decided to follow suit despite the looks. It was hot and it wasn’t like she was naked or anything.

They were ordered to begin basic exercises such as sit-ups, push-ups and jumping jacks.  
It wasn’t easy especially with her small body, but she refused to give up. She looked over at Steve he was struggling too, even more than she was, but he wasn’t about to throw in the towel either.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity they were told they could rest before the next set.

As she was catching her breath Deanna looked up and noticed Agent Carter standing in front. The women had a twinkle in her eyes and a slight smile as she walked up to Deanna.

“Agent?” Deanna asked before saluting the fellow woman.

"At ease soldier. I'm Agent Peggy Carter." She held out her hand, Deanna quickly shook it.

"I'm Private First-Class Deanna F. Bradford. Pleasure to meet you, " Deanna said and Agent Carter smiled in response.

“Well looks like I’m not the only lady around here after all. Thank you for standing up for me, though I’m going to ask not to do that again, as you saw I can handle wankers like those just fine on my own, and I don’t want to have to discipline you for rowdy behavior.”

“I apologize Ma’am, I had an altercation with him earlier in the mess hall, he insulted both myself and my friend so I was already angry with him, but from here on out I will keep my trap shut and might I add that was quite an amazing right hook.”

“Thank you private and don’t worry, I’ll let it go this time, and all things considered it really is refreshing to have another woman around, especially one with such guts. I wish you luck private and I'll be keeping an eye on you." And with that she walked off to her duties.

* * *

The days began to bleed into each other, with it becoming a blur of grueling physical training. Several times the bonehead recruits would do and say things to make it even harder for her and Steve.

One such occasion included when that Hodge jackass trapped Steve barbed wire during a crawling exercise. She managed to pull her friend out and gave their bully a death glare. 

But they were soldiers and would get through these trials with their heads held high. Still it wasn't easy.

At lunch that day she and Steve took a seat at their usual table

“So, Steve how you holding up?” She asked.

“As best I can, not gonna lie I miss Brooklyn, but I wanted this so badly and I’m going to see it through, body aches, taunts and all.” he said

“You are one tough nut to crack. Speaking of cracking nuts heard we have ropes training after lunch.”

“Oh joy.”

“Not a fan?”

“Let’s just say I never rang that bell in gym class.”

* * *

"Come on girls! My elderly landlady is faster than this!" Deanna groaned at Agent Carter's taunting as she inched her way up the rope. Why did she have to be so perfect? Yes it was nice having another woman around who somewhat respected her, but her presence didn’t always make her the most confident.

Shoving those feeling aside for now, she finished her second time around and was making her way back to the end of the line when Steve came jogging up next to her.

"How's it going Steve?" She asked even though the answer was clear. He was panting hard and gasping for air. Oh right you said you had asthma didn't you?"

"Yeah this isn't exactly great for it, but I'm okay. Anyway I just finished my first round. Wish I could be as fast as you ‘cause I see this is your last."

“Hey don’t put yourself down, you told me this wasn’t your strong suit and yet you made it and I know you can do again. I believe in you.”

“Thanks Deanna, that means a lot.”

They both got back in line and soon Hodge came up behind Deanna, and she did her best to ignore him.

When her turn came she heard the jackass himself behind her.

"Don't worry hun, I'll be here if you fall." He taunted.

She bottled up her anger and started to climb the rope. Making it up to the top was fairly easy. She was about to make her way down when She noticed that Hodge actually struggling. He was almost to the top, but was losing his grip and might actually fall. Deanna rolled her eyes and stuck out her hand. Hodge looked at it suspiciously until she thrust her hand out again and he took it.

"Why are you helping me?" He asked.

"Because on the front lines, we are not enemies. It’s true that we get along about as well as a house on fire, however at the end of the day you Mr. Gilmore Hodge are still my ally. No matter how much I wish you weren’t." She said uttering the last part under her breath.

"Alright, thanks Bradford. You know, you're pretty tough…for a dame”

“Don’t push your luck Hodge. Do you want another black eye?”

“No. Sorry.”

The two got to the bottom and Hodge rejoined his group of buddies.

She watched as Steve struggled up the tower for his next two turns. He did pretty good the second time, but was clearly running out of energy by the time he was up for his last turn, it was clear he was stuck about halfway up.

“ROGERS MOVE IT!” the Sergeant screamed

A few of the privates started heckling him as well, wanting to get to dinner,

“Come on Shrimp!”

“Hurry the hell up midget!”

This didn’t help the struggling Steve who looked like he was close to falling off.  
Deanna took one last look and made up her mind. She walked back up to the tower and began climbing up again.

“BRADFORD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” the Sergeant yelled.

She ignored him and despite her protesting muscles made her way up to Steve, and took his hand in hers.

“Deanna? What are you….”

“We’re gonna get through this and we're gonna get through this together, now come on let’s go teach these boys a lesson.”

The two of them climbed up the tower hand in hand and managed to make their way down unscathed. The Sergeant was standing there mouth agape while Agent Carter gave them a nod of approval and dismissed the group to dinner.

* * *

They had a few smaller training exercises that day before it was time to turn in and Deanna made her way back to the nurses’ quarters. It had been quite an exhausting day. She nestled into her bed, and opened up the letter she had been given earlier that day.

_Dear Deanna,_

_I’m glad you kept your promise and wrote. It’s not the same here without you. I'm proud of you though. I know you’re going to kick insane amounts of ass._   
_I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with so much shit there though. But like I said if there’s any woman who can show those boys what we’re made of it’s you. You’re already the toughest person I know, so my best advice is show them what you showed me. Show them that that you’re not going anywhere, that you’re a force to be reckoned with and that you won’t be ignored._   
_Also of course I see you as more than a girl, you were one of the few people who saw me as more than black so I owe it to you to treat you the same._   
_Go get 'em soldier._

_Mavis._

_PS. Remember to go for the groin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have drawn a bit of inspiration from Stranger Things for the scene when Deanna clocks Hodge. What can I say? Max Mayfield is awesome and she should be an inspiration to more girls.
> 
> I really enjoy bringing to light what life was like before the war which is why I like to include it in conversion scenes. To me it makes the characters feel more real. 
> 
> I don't have too much else to say I'm just going to let the chapter speak for itself.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	6. Stumble and Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna hits a roadblock.

“Okay ladies!" Agent Carter shouted. "Time for a run!"

The recruits were instructed to run around a ten-mile-long dirt road. It was hot and long and generally shitty. All while Agent Carter and the Sergeant would ride in a Jeep, to taunt the recruits.

Steve was falling way behind the rest of them. It didn't help that they had to carry their backpacks with them. Deanna kept a mid-range pace so she didn't tire herself out. She was halfway in between Steve and the rest of the troops, breathing heavily. This wasn't good for her. Her heart beat was going erratic. She was worried she might keel over. Finally, they stopped in front of the camp flag to take a very short rest after being screamed at the entire time to move.

The Sergeant pointed up at the flagpole while trying to catch his breath. He had started jogging with them at one point, but only to yell at them to go faster.

"That flag means we are only at the halfway point!" Deanna groaned mentally. Another five miles of hell to go through.

"The first man that brings it to me gets to ride back with Agent Carter. Now move!"

Everyone but Steve and Deanna moved to the flagpole. They would get trampled easily since all the other troops were scrambling to get up the flagpole. Someone would start to climb, get a couple feet off the ground, and the fall back down and someone else would try.

"That's all you got? This Army’s in trouble!? Get up there Hodge!" The officer yelled as the soldier tried to climb up the pole to the flag only to fall back down.

"Nobody's got that flag in seventeen years!" He stated looking quite smug.

"Now fall back into line! C'mon, fall in; let's go...get back into formation."

The group made their way back to the road, but not before Steve caught Deanna's attention. She saw him walk over at the pole, Deanna just stood there as her face formed confused expression.

"ROGERS! I SAID FALL IN!" the Sergeant screamed.

“Steve! What are you doing, you’re going to get the whole unit in trouble!” Deanna yelped at her friend.

Ignoring them, Steve pulled out the pin and yanked out the bar that ran through a hole to connect it to its base and the pole fell down with a bounce. He walked over to the fallen flag and picked it up, folding it up and gave it to the Sergeant.

"Thank you, sir," Steve breathed before getting into the back of the Jeep. Agent Carter smiled at him while he smiled back at her, like they were flirting.

Deanna stared at him, mouth agape as she watched the Jeep drive away.

"BRADFORD CLOSE YOUR MOUTH GET BACK IN FORMATION!" The Sergeant screamed at her, snapping her attention back to reality.

"Yes Sir." She replied as she immediately got back into line with the rest of the recruits.

"AND FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU JUST EARNED THE ENTIRE UNIT TWO HUNDRED EXTRA PUSHUPS!"

"Oh thanks a lot Bradford, you fucking idiot!" One recruit said

"Dumbass bitch." Said another.

She ran as fast as she possibly could, as they ganged up on her for the next five miles, doing her damndest to suppress the urge to cry. She would not shed a tear, not here, not in front of them. She was not going to give them any more fuel.

At the end of the day Deanna made it back to her bed. She was still feeling like a failure.

She was angry. She was angry at the officer for yelling and punishing them. She knew it was his job but she didn't care.

She was angry at the recruits for all shitty things they said to her. Yes she fucked up and they had a right to be mad at her, but hearing it only rubbed salt in the wound.

She was angry at Steve, for leaving her behind. How could he do that? She thought that they we're a team.

But mostly she was just angry at herself.

How could she have not caught on to what Steve was thinking? This had always been such a problem for her. She could never think outside the box. If a solution wasn't obvious, she wouldn't even bother. No matter how much she knew it was an issue, she just couldn't seem to make it go away.

Not to mention that the green eyed monster was a-knocking. She saw the way Agent Carter looked at him and how he looked at her. She felt a pang of jealousy building up inside of her. It wasn’t unusual for her to feel this way. Despite not wanting to get married, she still felt somewhat envious of Kevin when he announced his engagement to Helen. This felt even worse. She and Steve weren’t even dating and she felt like crap. And how could she not? The woman was perfect. Beautiful, tough, respected, everything she wanted to be and wasn't. She was even beginning to wonder if she was even worthy of the serum.

 _I wouldn’t be surprised if I got booted in favor of The Perfect Agent Peggy Carter. She deserves it more anyways._ She thought sadly.

Being around the Agent had slowly, but completely, drained her of her confidence during her time at Basic. Deanna knew she meant well, but all she could think about every time she saw her was how much better Peggy was at everything compared to her. It made her feel worthless in an already difficult and uncaring environment.

_Well I’m not out of the running yet. I should just get some sleep._

The days continued to pass by. The taunts, the stares, the aches, the pains, the disrespect. It was all becoming monotonous.

She hadn’t really talked to Steve all that much since flagpole incident, despite his numerous apologizes.

She wanted to forgive him and let it go, more than anything she wanted her friend back, but her stupid insecurities just wouldn’t let her.

“Deanna please?” He said desperately.

“Not now Steve.” She said as she walked with her tray to eat outside.

She just wanted to be left alone to stew in her anger. She knew she wasn’t doing herself any favors, but she couldn’t stop herself. She knew this was going to take time and would rather get it out of her system than pretend she was okay.

* * *

“BRADFORD YOU’RE LOSING FORM! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?” The Sergeant yelled as she began straying to the right, during a routine set of sit ups.

“Yes Sir. Sorry Sir.”

“Stupid girl. The hell was Erskine thinking when he recruited her? At least Carter knows her stuff.” He muttered just above earshot, almost to torture Deanna.

She wanted to explode. She felt helpless, worthless and alone.

She wanted to run away and cry and just leave this hellhole far behind. But no, she wouldn’t. She refused to. She was a soldier. She worked so hard to be here and she would not throw everything away just because she was having issues. And she certainly was not about to let half of Doctor Erskine’s hard work get scrapped just because she couldn’t let go of some stupid insecurities. She needed to fix this. Only problem was she didn’t know how to get over herself.

That night she headed back to the nurses’ quarters, ignoring the usual glares from the ladies.

She had been given a letter on her way in, but feeling so depressed and beaten down, that she hadn’t even really glanced at it. She assumed it was from Mavis.

She sat down on her bed and finally took a look at it. It was not from Mavis. It had been rerouted from the original destination of her apartment in Queens, so it had to be from someone who didn’t know she was there. However there wasn't a return address.

_Mystery letter. Okay?_

She opened it and began reading.

_Hey Sis._

Her brother it was from her brother. She hadn't heard from him in so long, she hadn't realized how much she missed him and now after everything t she thought she was going to break

_I don’t have a lot much time to write, but it’s been far too long._   
_Europe is dreary and cold and shitty. Even Queens was better than this. I have no idea how anyone could live here._   
_I still can’t believe that I was supposed to be married for a month now. I hate having to leave Helen behind like this. But this letter isn’t for Helen, I sent her a letter of own, this one is for you my beloved pain in the ass little sister._   
_I miss you, god I miss you. I miss playing catch with you before the game in the summer. I miss playing pranks on the neighbors while you would cover for me to mom and I miss keeping you safe from bullies, even though I knew in my gut that you didn’t need my help. I guess I just wasn’t ready to admit that despite being younger and a girl, you were so much more than a porcelain doll._   
_So, in spite of it being a bruise to my big brother ego, I hope more than anything that you’re still that spunky, take-no-shit girl I left behind. I hope you haven’t finally succumbed to mom’s expectations and married the first rich man you come across. Honestly just I hope that you’re still my sister._   
_I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, but I wanted to let you that I love you and miss you and I pray for the day I can see you again._   
_Sincerely,_   
_Kevin._

Tears began to well in her eyes. It was the first time she had cried since arriving at Lehigh. She told herself she wouldn’t cry here but she just couldn’t hold them back anymore.

She was still that spunky girl and Kevin reminded her of that. She would make her brother proud.

* * *

Deanna did her best to stay as vigilant as possible. She would not be left behind again and threw herself into her duties.

No matter what they threw at her she would take it. No more breaking form no more slipping away. No one would be able to say she wasn’t doing her duty. If she felt physically adequate she could get to the emotional matter too.

She pushed herself harder and harder. Every exercise, every drill. No matter what they threw at her she put her all into it. She was never top of the class, but she was keeping up. And although it did nothing to make her look any better, Deanna began to notice some muscle forming on her previously stick figure of a frame. And although they would never admit it, she could tell the officers were impressed.

She felt good physically. She was ready to let her mind feel good too, so, two days later after a particularly nasty jog (with no flagpole out this time, thank the gods.) Deanna decided stay behind before dinner. She needed to speak with Agent Carter or she would never get this weight off her shoulders.

“Uh Agent?” Deanna asked.

“Private Bradford. Shouldn’t you be heading to dinner?” the agent asked.

“Yeah I should, but I wanted to speak with you actually. It’s stupid, but I guess I just need to talk to someone who wasn't a man. No offense to Rogers, he’s amazing, but there’s some things you can only talk about with other women you know? Believe me I wouldn’t normally ask a commanding officer, but the nurses here don't really like me.” Deanna said.

“I certainly understand. So, I suppose I can squeeze in a little time for one of my most inspiring recruits.”

“Thanks. I never thought I’d say this but I miss being able to wear dresses. I was more or a slacks kind of girl,b here it’s so hot and the pants stick to me like glue, not to mention that unlike the boys, I don’t have the luxury of just taking my shirt off. Drives me nuts.”

“Believe me I know how you feel about that. It’s completely unfair we have to suffer in the heat, while the men can just bear all. It’s ridiculous.”

“I know right. Also going back to what you said before. You really think of me that way? I’m really one of your most inspiring recruits?”

“Of course. I can tell that you’ve been going through hell and back the entire time you’ve been here, and you’ve faced it far better than anyone I’ve ever met, aside from your boyfriend?” Peggy said with just a hint of dismay in her voice.

“Oh, Rogers isn’t my boyfriend. Boot camp isn’t exactly the place to be finding a prom date.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed." Peggy sounded almost relieved when Deanna told her that and she wondered if the officer felt something for him. "Though I have noticed you to have been a bit more separated as of late, is something going on?” she added.

“I guess…um. Well that’s actually kinda why I wanted to talk, honestly, I guess I kinda feel a little... I dunno...inadequate compared to you. To be honest I’m a little surprised I’m the one being considered for the serum and not you.”

“Why do you think that?"

“It’s cause you’re just perfect! You're an officer and an agent, while I’m just a private. You get to give orders, I take them. You're a way better fighter than me. You break codes and break noses. The officers give you respect, while they barely tolerate me and I’m going to assume that they aren’t forcing you to bunk with a bunch of people in a different department, just because they’re women. And I know this is superficial, but you’re way more beautiful than me, what with my being as pale as a ghost and as skinny as a stick, aside for some awkwardly burgeoning muscles, not to mention that you got to keep your hair. I guess I just feel that you’re everything that I want to be but I’m not.”

Peggy gritted her teeth and thought for a moment before answering.

“Deanna, I know It seems like I’m everything you can’t be, but believe me I wasn’t always like this and once upon a time I was in your place, and it took me a long time to get here, and it involved a lot of fighting tooth and nail to get it, just like you’re doing now. For the longest time I was simply a silly girl who thought a life as housewife with my horrible former fiancé was the most amazing thing. My brother Michael, bless his soul, tried to get me to see reason, but it wasn’t until we lost him three years ago that I finally realized I could and should do more. And I had to go through hell to get where I am now, just like you. People gave me the same blasted garbage about my gender, that you’re getting right now, and to be frank it hasn’t gone away. Believe me I understand what you've been going through, I really do. And Deanna I swear I'm not perfect far from it, and I’m not better than you, just further down the path.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry about your brother. I lost my father when I was young so I can empathize. Also I’m actually here myself partially because of my own brother, Kevin. He was drafted and it felt wrong of me to just stay at home collecting tin and donating blood when he was on the front lines.”

Peggy gave her a smile.

“Deanna, I know you’re going to accomplish great things and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Also, you really should head to dinner, wouldn’t want to keep Private Rogers waiting.”

“Thanks Peggy.” Deanna said, before heading off to the mess hall.

* * *

For the first time in awhile Deanna felt ready to let her petty grievances go. She made her way to her usual table where Steve was sitting.

“Hey stranger, room for one more?” she asked.

“You’re back! I was worried I would never see you again. It’s been pretty miserable without your company.”

Deanna blushed.

“I am, listen I’m really sorry I couldn’t let it go. It was stupid and childish of me.”

“No, you had a right to feel that way, I left you behind when you told me we would get through this together.”

“I don’t know Steve, you should be able to use your advantages whether I’m involved or not, I guess I just got used to us being a team that I forgot that we’re still separate people. I guess I just wanted to say that I forgive you, though really there’s nothing to forgive if I’m being honest.”

“Thank you. I should still be by your side, but I’ll keep that in mind. But either way I really missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“What made you come through?”

“Let’s just say someone unexpected reminded me of who I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did my best to capture the realistic and irrational response someone would feel when they begin to lose confidence in themselves.
> 
> Having gone through some rough times myself, I tried digging through my experiences to bring to life what's going through their head when they feel like the world is against them. 
> 
> I also thought this might be a good time to finally bring Kevin into the story, at least indirectly though the letter. He will be coming in the flesh down the line but I didn't want him to just be the ghost. So here's the letter. (also Some more Stranger Things inspiration. I wrote this chapter after watching the finale of the new season.)
> 
> Lastly, I wanted to separate Steve and Deanna as people. It's not to say they can't be a team, but they can't be doing everything together all the time and I don't want to have him to have to share all his accomplishments with her, he deserves to have his own moments to shine. (even if it makes Deanna feel like shit.  
> Sorry.) In addition it helps to show off some of her flaws. She can get insecure and unsure of herself, and tends to only see the obvious solution. So even though she's able to get out of her funk, that flaw's not going away. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Secrets, Truths And Guts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Deanna prove their worth and have a heart to heart.

It was just another day

Agent Carter had ordered them to do push ups.

Her muscles hurt just as they always did, but this time she didn’t care. She felt good, really good. She had been steadily keeping up pace with the men that surrounded her. She had gotten better and better over the weeks. Although it was still hard, she was becoming an equal to all in her unit, except for Steve. Poor guy was struggling to lift up his own weight.

His health was even worse that her own, and it had been a struggle for him the whole way. She understood now why he had thought of the flagpole shortcut, because he had been doing it all his life, while she just hadn't. It was a clever way to deal with the shitty hand life had delt him, but sometimes that just wasn't an option, such as where they were now, and her heart went out to her friend. All she wanted to do was to grab his hand and help him.

She shot him a glance but she could tell by the look on his face that he would just tell her to focus on herself and not worry about him,

"Faster ladies! Come on! My grandmother has more life in her…God rest her soul."

A few of the men just rolled their eyes, the taunting from the agent not helping. Though Deanna chuckled a bit.

"Alright that’s it. Everybody, look at Private Bradford, that’s right the tiny little girl that you all continue to harass, well look, not only is she keeping pace but she’s is doing far better you are. So do tell me how does that make your precious egos feel?

It probably couldn’t have been good for their egos, though Deanna had to admit it gave more than a slight boost to hers.

“Alright, up, jumping jacks."

Deanna eagerly stood up and continued on with the next exercise.

Steve not as giddy, was flapping his arms around tiredly.

 _I can do this._ He thought to himself. _Just one at a time, don't look at the others just focus. One at a time. Oh god it's so hard to breathe. Come on Steve, in out, in out, just keep going._

Over by one of the trucks, Dr. Erskine and Colonel Phillips were watching their recruits.

"You're not really thinking about picking Rogers and Bradford, are you?" Colonel Phillips finally asked outright. He was still dumbfounded that the scientist was so set on picking the two...outliers of his base.

"I am more zan just thinking about it. They are zee clear choices." Dr. Erskine answered.

"When you brought a ninety-pound asthmatic and a skinny girl with tachycardia onto my army base, I let it slide. I thought what the hell? Maybe they’d be useful to you, like gerbils. I never thought you'd pick ‘em."

Erskine was unconvinced by the Colonel's reservations. He had seen what his creation was capable of. He knew he had to choose wisely this time, and he knew that Steven and Deanna would be the right candidates.

But the military just did not seem to to see things his way. The doctor knew that it would be difficult convincing the army to look beyond their appearances and her sex, but it turned out to be an even harder sell than anticipated.

"Stick a needle in his arm and it's gonna go right through him." The Colonel said unimpressed.

They both glanced over at the struggling skinny blond. He looked about ready to die.

"Look at that! He's making me cry!" He continued.

"Vell I'l give you that, but he is not not giving up. Men stronger zan him 'ave. And vhat about Bradford? She iz keeping up just fine." The Doctor said.

"She's a woman."

"Carter iz a voman and you respect her."

"Carter's got far more experience and charisma, and besides Bradford's still got a bad heart."

"Vhich my serum vill correct. Besides I am looking for qualitiez beond zee physical."

"Do you know how long it took to set up this project?"

"Yes, I know."

"And all the groveling I had to do in front of senator "what's his name"?"

"Yes I know, I am vell aware of your efforts."

"Then throw me a bone! Hodge passed every test we gave him. He's big, he's fast he obeys orders. He's a soldier."

"He's a bully," Dr. Erskine said.

"You don't win wars with niceness, doctor." Colonel Phillips said as he turned around to the truck and pulled out a realistic looking grenade.

"You win wars with guts." He finished.

He pulled the pin and threw it out into the field of recruits.

"GRENADE!" He shouted. Both of the men watched as all but Rogers and Bradford fled the area.

Without a moment’s hesitation Steve threw himself onto the grenade while Deanna got in front of the cowering recruits and shielded her fellow soldiers from any stray shrapnel, with her body.

“EVERYONE STAY BEHIND ME! DON’T MOVE!” Deanna screamed at the top of her lungs.

Agent Carter started running towards him.

"GET AWAY!" Rogers shouted. "GET BACK!"

Everyone waited but nothing happened.

"It's a dummy grenade." Someone shouted.

Deanna breathed a large sigh a relief.

“Is everybody okay?” She asked the men behind her. They nodded, one even muttered a thank you.

Colonel Phillips sighed. Steve looked up at the two of them.

"Is this a test?" Steve asked, confused and on edge.

Erskine looked to the Colonel with an almost cocky smile.

"They’re still skinny."

And with that the colonel walked off accepting defeat.

Once Steve and Deanna finished the exercises, Dr. Erskine made his way over to where they stood.

"Good afternoon Steven, Deanna."

Steve's attention was directed towards the doctor now. "Good afternoon Dr. Erskine."

"Doctor, hi.” she replied softly. She was still rather shaken and on edge from the fake grenade incident.

The good doctor clapped his hands together and smiled in a more excited way.

"I 'ave great news! Colonel Phillips and I 'ave talked it over and both of you 'ave officially been chosen for zee project." This perked Deanna up, distracting her from her anxiety.

"Golly, that's great!" She squealed and hugged the doctor quickly and then hugged Steve before practically skipping to the mess hall for dinner.

"I 'ave never seen someone so happy about being injected vith a gene altering serum." Dr. Erskine said

"Well you've never met someone like Deanna before."

Dr. Erskine nodded in agreement and the two men began to follow their giddy counterpart into the mess hall.

* * *

The night before the procedure came quickly. Deanna was extremely excited but equally terrified. It was dawning on her that the body she knew would be gone within a matter of hours. She was even a bit disappointed the muscle she earned her from her hard work here would be replaced. But she was still looking forward to having a better heart if anything.

It was dinner time for the camp, however Steve and Deanna were instructed to fast for twenty-four hours prior to procedure and couldn’t join their fellow recruits. To pass the time they went back to try and get a good night's rest.

Deanna sat on her bed, looking at old pictures. Some of her and Mavis as teenagers, some with her and her brother as young children in front of their old house, one with her and father in California a year before his death, and one of her with her grandmother on her sixteenth birthday. All fond memories all long before the war. Those were happier times. The war made everything depressing. People tried to look happy, they tried to make it like everything was normal and you didn't have to care about anything in the world. But really everyone was hurting inside. Loved ones were going away to war and some would never return. It was a rather harsh reality.

Deanna set the photos back into her bag and made her way out the door. Perhaps Steve was still up. Being as nervous as she was, Deanna just needed someone to talk to and walked down the dirt path to Steve's barrack. There was about forty-five minutes until dinner was over. That was enough time to talk.

* * *

Steve himself was sitting on his bed face deep in a book just trying to keep his mind off both his grumbling stomach and his intrusive thoughts over what the hell the procedure was going to do to him.

He succeeded at the former, but not so much at the latter.

_What the hell is gonna happen tomorrow? Is it going to hurt? Will I still be able to have kids? What if it fails and I either mutate or die? Shut up! Slow down it's gonna be fine. Erskine knows what's he's doing and he picked me so I'm not letting him down. Now read your book!_

He continued reading, though it really wasn't doing him any good at taking his mind off his fears. He needed someone to talk to.

As if god himself had heard his wish, Steve heard a knock on his door.

"Hey Steve it's Deanna! Can I come in?"

“Yeah no problem.” he said.

She opened the door and made her way over to his bed and sat beside him.

"So what you been reading.

“Oh a book on War strategy. But before that. Well. Uh”

“Steve just spit it out?”

“You gave me some of those poems you wrote back at the beginning of Basic, I…Uh…I finally got around to reading them. They really are brilliant.”

“Oh Steve.”

“Deanna, why didn't you become a writer? You have such a gift and yet you chose to be a soldier." Steve finally asked.

Deanna thought for a moment. His question was relevant, but she didn't really enjoy talking about her relationship with her mother. However Steve was her friend and she wanted to be open with him.

"I tried to." She said sadly. "I really tried, I was even accepted into a writing program at NYU, but I didn't exactly get my mother's approval. She wants me to get married and have kids. That's it…no job…no life. It’s why we had our falling out, I just couldn’t take it anymore and had to get away, I know it's all very stupid."

“No, I get it. I’ve never had a falling out at least not yet, but I can imagine. Sometimes doing what you have to do means having to sacrifice.”

Deanna nodded in agreement.

“I can’t just sit around and let my life pass me by, whether the world says I can or not.” Deanna mused.

“Is that why you took Dr. Erskine's offer?

"Partly, I guess it was a lot of things. After my mother and I fell out, I felt kinda aimless, I couldn’t go to college since I couldn’t afford it without my mother’s help, I had a job at a library which I liked and I would work on my poetry, but I never felt like I had, I don’t know? A purpose, I guess? Then Pearl Harbor happened. I wanted to help, I finally felt like there was something I could do with my life that was significant. I collected all the tin, nylons and glycerin I could get my hands on, and nearly bled myself to death donating blood. For a while I felt satisfied in doing my part, but then my brother Kevin was drafted. He had to leave his leave his fiancé, his job, his whole life behind and risk everything, all because a lottery picked his birthday. After that I felt like I wasn’t doing enough after that since he was doing so much more and all without his say. It felt wrong to be behind here on the Homefront not when so many others were putting their lives on the line. So, I decided to do something about it. And then there were some other reasons of course: to prove myself, to rebel against my mother, to feel important. But I mainly joined the army because I wanted to keep America safe, help liberate those oppressed and subjugated by the axis powers and because I didn't want to live to anyone's standards."

Steve nodded.

"What about you?" she asked.

Deanna waited patiently as Steve sighed deeply.

"Well I said this to Bucky the night I got enlisted. I said that, men are laying down their lives, and I got no right to do any less than them. But also, I don't like bullies. I'm doing this because no one should be able to pick on the little guys. It's not right…"

"If someone is above everyone else because they think they're better." She finished for him. Steve gave a relieved sigh and a nod.

"Have you written to your brother recently or your best friend?" Steve asked, changing the subject after their comfortable silence.

"I just got a letter back from her actually. And I sent one to Kevin about two days ago. He sent me a letter a few weeks ago but no other letters back from him yet. Anyway she mostly talked about how she knew I had it in me to kick ass. And to go for the groin."

Steve laughed and Deanna soon joined him and their laughter became progressively louder, so loud that they didn’t notice the knock at the door.

“Steven? Deanna? Are you in here?” Dr. Erskine asked as he popped his head into the room

“Oh Doctor, we didn’t hear you come in.” Deanna said apologetically

He gave her an understanding nod.

"May I?" He asked with a smile.

Deanna nodded while smiling back and Steve gave a short, "Yeah."

Dr. Erskine came in carrying a bottle of liquor and three glasses, before closing the door behind him. The old scientist sat down on the bed across from them still in his white coat. His smile grew even softer as he gazed upon the two soldiers.

"I 'ave never seen a more…cooperative team zan you two. You vill do vell together."

Both of them smiled.

"So, can't sleep?" He asked.

"Got the jitters, I guess " Steve said.

"Me too," The Doctor said.

“You can say the same for me as well. I’m scared shitless. Pardon the French.”

“You ‘ave quite a sharp tongue zere, Miss Deanna.”

“Yeah well a lot of people don’t see me as anything more than a pretty girl unless I bust out the “no-no” words. Don’t worry I’m careful around kids.”

“No need for vorry, I ‘ad no doubt of zat.”

They chuckled slightly before a silence came over them.

Steve made a face before finally breaking the quiet.

"Can we ask you a question?" Steve said

"Just vone?"

"Why us?" said Steve finished as he looked over at Deanna and then back at the doctor.

Dr. Erskine sighed as he placed the bottle on the ground.

"I suppose zat is zee only question zat matters." He took a moment to look down at the liquor in his hands. "Zis is from Augsburg, my city," he said gesturing to the bottle.

"So many people forget zat zee first country zee Nazi's invaded vas zeir own. You know, after zee last war...my people struggled. Zey...zey felt veak. Zey felt small. And zen Hitler comes along vith zee marching and zee big show and zee flags and zee...and zee..."

He waved his hands around like he was trying to stop himself as he stuttered over the words of his story. He fixed his glasses that began to slide down his nose.

"And he...he hears of me, my vork and he finds me. And he says, you... you vill make us strong. Vell, I am not interested. So, he sends zee head of Hydra, his research division, a brilliant scientist by zee name of Johann Schmidt. Now, Schmidt iz a member of zee inner circle and he's ambitious. He and Hitler share a passion for Occult power and Teutonic myth. Hitler uses his fantasies to inspire his followers. But for Schmidt it is not fantasy. For him, it is real. He has become convinced that zere is a great power hidden in the earth, left here by the Gods, just vaiting to be seized by a superior man. So ven he hears about my formula and vat it can do, he cannot resist."

Deanna closed her eyes. She could picture every horrifying detail in her mind. She didn't even know what Schmidt looked like, but that didn't stop her imagination from thinking of the worst thing possible.

"Schmidt must become zat superior man."

Oh God…did he?

"He, took it didn’t he?" Deanna asked. Dr. Erskine nodded weakly. It made him sad to think that his creation went to such waste.

"Did it make him stronger?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," The good doctor answered. "But, zere vere other effects.”

Deanna’s eyes widened in fear. Whatever those effects were, she didn’t want to know.

“Zee serum vas not ready. But more important, zee person. Zee serum amplifies everything zat is inside. So, good becomes great. Bad becomes vorse."  
He let this sink in for a moment before continuing on.

"This is why you vere chosen. Because a strong person, who has known power all their life, vill lose respect for that power, but a veak one knows the value of strength, and knows compassion." He pointed at them once more.

"Thanks, I think." Steve started.

Deanna nodded in agreement.

Dr. Erskine pointed at the three glasses he had placed on the table. Steve grabbed them, handed one to the doctor and one to Deanna. Dr. Erskine poured some of the liquor into each of the three glasses.

"Vhatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. Zat you both vill stay who you are. Not perfect soldiers, but good souls," He pointed to the two of them. She smiled; Deanna didn't plan on changing anything but her body tomorrow. that was more than enough change for her.

Deanna watched The Doctor take his glass as Steve raised his in the air.

"To the little guys." he toasted.

Deanna lifted up her own glass as well and smirked.

"And to the dames."

They both tilted their glasses up to take a drink when Dr. Erskine frantically stopped them.

"No! No! Vait! Vait! Vat I am doing? No! You have procedure tomorrow! No fluids!"

He took their glasses and set them on the table next to him and poured their glasses contents into his own.

"Alright, we'll drink it after."

Dr. Erskine looked a little offended.

"No, I do not have procedure tomorrow! Drink it after, Drink it now!"

He held up the almost overflowing glass and downed it. Steve started to laugh lightly before Deanna joined him followed by the doctor and all three laughed like absolute madmen. Then again, they were going to two of scrawny kids and turn them into American icons maybe they were insane?

Soon after, Doctor Erskine had to head out, and Deanna decided to leave herself when Steve’s bunkmates began to return from dinner and headed back to the nurses’ quarters.

She was still too nervous to sleep, to pass the time she decided she would respond to her letter from Mavis.

_Dear Mavis,_

_This letter is going to be short. I apologize for that. I just wanted to let you know that I'm being shipped out tomorrow morning. I included the information of where you can send any future letters to in the envelope. I probably won't be able to write as often anymore since I'll be so busy being on duty, but I'll always read your letters and I'll make sure to send one back eventually._

_I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and Kevin and Helen. No, this isn't a goodbye. It's just an 'I'll see you soon.' Thanks for keeping my secret and I'll tell you more as soon as it becomes possible._

_With all my love,_   
_Deanna._

_P.S. I’ll be sure to keep your advice in mind._

She quickly sealed the letter and stamped it. Unfortunately, the office was closed for the night. She put it at the foot of her bed on her now packed luggage, she would mail it in the morning.

Afterwards she changed and just laid down on her bed hoping sleep would come. She knew tomorrow was almost certainly going to be the most important day of her life,

 _And to think, for the longest time I thought it was prom night_. She thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my one and only commenter told me I may want to be not completely reliant on Deanna's perspective.
> 
> Given that she is an OC it is a delicate balance I decided to test to waters by adding some of Steve's perspective and thoughts as well. I'm liking it so far and will probably try to continue this down the road.
> 
> As for the grenade scene. I thought of several scenarios of giving Deanna a test all her own (including one where she dives in to a lake to save a fellow recruit that I almost went with but thought it was too similar to the post serum chase scene.) but none of them were as dramatic, poignant or resonant enough as the dummy grenade scene decided to have them share it by showing they were both willing to lay their lives down. Given that in Canon Peggy was about to do the same thing but was simply further away and jut didn't make it in time, I don't feel too bad about having share this unlike the flagpole. Steve is still the one who's down on the grenade, Deanna is just making sure no one else gets hurt, a second line of defense.
> 
> This was actually one of my favorite chapters to write. I especially like that I got to end it on a joke.
> 
> Speaking of which prom in the US wasn't as widespread in the 30s as it is now (they didn't fully take off until the 50s), but high school proms did exist all the way back to the 20s, when Deanna would have been an infant, and I'm going to indulge a little myself by assuming that Deanna's school had one. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	8. The Day That Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Deanna's lives are forever changed.

Deanna was tired in the morning, her anxiety kept her up for hours and honestly wasn’t even sure if she slept at all. She didn’t really care, she knew she’d would have to go without sleep often as a soldier, and focused on getting ready.

A quick shower and dress later and Deanna was just about done, buttoning up the last button on her shirt of her formal Private’s Uniform, quickly tying her hair back, placing her hat on her head, before finally retrieving her letter to Mavis

“Well I guess I’m ready.”

She breathed in deeply. This was it. She could do this.

She heard a knock at her door.

“Private Bradford!” the man at the door called out.

Deanna almost jumped at the sound but she quickly regained her composure. She recognized that voice. She made her way over to the door and opened it to reveal none other than Colonel Phillips.

She immediately saluted her superior.

"Good morning Colonel." She greeted him in a stoic demeanor.

"Private. Follow me.”

“Yes sir.”

She followed closely behind The Colonel as they walked towards the office. He stopped at the front steps of the building.

“The transportation for you and Private Rogers will meet you here at 0800 hours”

“Thank you, Sir.”

He gave her the slightest of nods a before getting in a car which proceeded to drive off.

She quickly slipped her letter into the outbox, before heading into the office. Steve was already there, sitting in a chair. She took a seat in the chair next to him and waited. The clock read 0705 hours. They had fifty-five minutes to sweat in anxiety before being driven off to the laboratory. Fifty-five minutes left to change their minds.

Steve was sweating. He felt his heart racing. He could tell that Deanna was nervous as well.

The pair sat in silence until 0755 hours when Agent Carter entered the office.

“Private Rogers, Private Bradford, I’m here to escort you to the laboratory site. If you would follow me, our transportation is outside and ready for departure.”

“Yes Ma’am” Steve answered and the pair quickly followed the agent to their own car.

The three of them got in the car and it began driving them out of the camp due north towards New York.

The three of them sat in silence for about half an hour until Steve noticed the sound of labored breathing coming from Deanna. He turned his head to get a better idea of what was happening. It looked like she was trying to keep herself calm but was starting to have a hard time at it

"Deanna, are you okay”

"I’m sorry I'm just scared." she whispered low enough that only Steve could hear her.

"Is this about the procedure?"

She nodded

"I…I know you're scared. I am too. We both have every right to be scared. But that's okay. Remember what you told me when you helped me on the ropes tower? You told me that we're gonna to get through this and we're gonna to get through it together. Well we’ll get through it together here as well, I'll be with you the whole time."

“Thank you, Steve.” She said before taking her hand in his for comfort.

The car ride was quiet for the next two hours until they reached Brooklyn. As they drove through the neighborhood, some kids moved out of the car's way as they played a game of stickball.

"Hey," Steve said in realization. "I know this neighborhood! I got beat up in that alley…and that parking lot…and behind that diner."

Steve didn’t know why he was bringing this up. Embarrassing himself in front of two people he actually cared whether or not they thought highly of him. And yet her he was spilling his guts, like the idiot he was. What was it about women that made him so awkward? He was raised by one for eighteen years, this shouldn’t be that hard.

"Did you have something against running away?" Agent Carter asked, finally speaking after nearly three hours of silence, snapping him out of his cloud of self-doubt.

He shook his head and looked over at Peggy.

"Start running they'll never let you stop. You stand up…push back, can't say no forever, right?"

"I know a little about what that's like. To have every door shut in your face." Agent Carter replied.

"Tell me about it," Deanna muttered.

The agent sent her a small smile before turning back to face the front again. Steve took a minute to think before continuing on with the conversation.

"I guess I just don't why you'd wanna join the army if you're a beautiful dame. Or a beautiful...a woman. An agent, not a dame! You are beautiful, but..."

Again, with his awkwardness. He gave up after stuttering over his words. He glanced over at Deanna who had started chuckling before Steve shot her glare and she stopped, probably out of pity for him.

"You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" Peggy asked him, meeting his gaze.

Steve let out a sigh.

"Not really." he said

"You talk to me." Deanna said a little offended.

"I know, but you know me, most women don't give the time of day, well most other women aren't exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on."

Deanna felt a bit guilty now. Steve was a wonderful man. Yes, he was small and sickly, but he didn’t look like a monster, in fact, his face was fairly easy on the eyes. But was appearance all that women thought about? Was Deanna the only one who paid attention to the other aspects of a man, like character and intelligence?

"You must have danced." Peggy said.

"Well, asking a woman to dance always seemed so terrifying. And the past few years just didn't seem to matter that much. Figured I'd wait."

"What are you waiting for?" Deanna asked him. He watched out the front window for a little while, just watching the lines on the road.

"The right partner," he finally said.

It was a simple answer, but neither woman could tell if it was directed towards anyone in particular though.

They pulled off to the side of the road. The car stopped in front of an old looking antique shop simply called 'Brooklyn Antiques.' The three of them stepped out and Agent Carter directed them inside. Two men in ragged clothes were outside conversing. They sent the three a smile as they walked inside.

A bell chimed as the door opened and closed. It was a large open space with a variety of antiques such as desks, clocks, lamps, and jewelry. An old woman with thinning gray hair in a pink cardigan walked out of a doorway covered by a curtained at the sound of the chiming.

"Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?" She asked Peggy with a frail voice.

"Yes, but I always carry an umbrella," she responded in a rehearsed tone. Deanna and Steve turned to each other and shrugged. They watched the old woman go around to the front desk and press a button on the side. Agent Carter led them though the navy-blue tapestry to another room. It was the same gray color as the store, but it only contained a roll top desk and bookshelves filled with a wide variety of books. There were small ones and big ones. Some were pristine and others were coated in a fine layer of dust. The trio stopped right in front of the large bookcase.

Deanna peered around Peggy's shoulder a bit confused.

“Is this some kind of trick Agent?” Deanna asked now slightly concerned for her and Steve’s safety

“I assure you Private, it’s not.”

Suddenly the bookshelf opened up toward them, revealing a hallway guarded by multiple officers.

 _Okay, secret passageway. Cool. When did my life turn into a mystery novel?_ she thought as she walked down the hallway to a set of double doors.

Upon reaching the doors, two more officers opened them to a laboratory. Inside laid two pod shaped tables with all sorts of wires and pads pultruding out of them. Deanna gulped. This didn’t look like it was gonna be pleasant. Steve looked at Peggy for the both of them and she simply exhaled deeply and led them down the stairs to the main area where Dr. Erskine was patiently waiting.

Steve and Deanna approached him as Peggy stayed behind the two.

"Good morning," he said, before proceeding to shake their hands.

The flash from a camera went off, next to them causing a bit off annoyance to the doctor.

"Please, not now," Dr. Erskine said scolding the Photographer.

"Are you veady?" Dr. Erskine asked.

They nodded, still unsure themselves.

"Good," he continued. "Steven, take off your shirt, your tie and your hat." Steve nodded, reached up for his cap and began to strip.

“What about me, I’m not giving all these people a goddamn peep show, doctor.”

"Don’t vorry Deanna." The doctor said as he handed her a roll of white gauze bandages and a safety pin she figured they were to cover her “girls”. “In the corner ve ‘ave a place for you to change in private."

Looking nervously at Steve, she followed Dr. Erskine to a tiny “room”, (it was more of an alcove with an opaque room divider), in the corner.

She quickly removed all her garments from the waist up, along with her belt. She had a feeling it wouldn’t fit when the procedure was over. She took the gauze and wrapped and pinned them around her chest before heading back to the main lab as she saw Steve lay himself down on his pod.

She laid down on the corresponding empty pod and looked closely at it. Needles lots of needles.

 _Is it too late to back out of this?_ she thought. _No don’t think like this Deanna you wanted this so badly you’re not bailing now._

Soon, Dr. Erskine returned.

"Comfortable?" He asked.

"It's a little big," Steve answered with slight humor in his voice. Dr. Erskine chuckled lightly.

"Did Ya save us any of that schnapps?" Steve asked, trying to keep the mood somewhat light.

Unfortunately Dr. Erskine shook his head.

"Not as much as I should have, Sorry, Next time."

“Mr. Stark! How are your levels?" Deanna's head popped up in surprise as the familiar dark-haired man came into view, completely oblivious to her presence.

"Levels are at 100%! We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn…but we are ready. As ever as we will be."

“Mr. Howard Stark, so this is what you’ve been doing when you’re not making flying cars?” Deanna said.

“I’m just doing my part to help Miss Bradford just like you.” Howard said with a smile before walking towards his station.

Deanna grudgingly admitted to herself that she was impressed. She honestly never considered that he would be a part of this procedure, let alone the war effort, perhaps she had slightly misjudged him, slightly.

A nurse came over and strapped her into the pod.

"Agent Carter, don't you think you’d be more comfortable in zee booth," Dr. Erskine asked, politely trying to tell her she would have to leave.

"Oh, oh yes of course," she replied. It was clear she didn’t want to abandon the two down there. However, she complied and made her way up to the observation booth which was filled with military officers, the press, and even the senator.

Dr. Erskine picked up a microphone from a table and flicked it until it made an obnoxious screeching noise.

"Can you hear me? Is zis thing on? Ladies und gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but zee first step on zee path to peace.”

The assistants began securing them into their pods, and prepping them for the injection.

"We begin vith a series of micro injections into zee subjects' major muscle groups."

The nurses wheeled the serum vials out and inserted them into their appropriate apertures.

"Zee serum infusion vill cause immediate cellular change. And zen to stimulate growth, zee subjects vill be saturated vith vita rays." He put down the microphone and continued to check on his test subjects.

A nurse went to each of the two and cleaned off a spot on their arm with an alcohol swab before injecting them with something.

"That wasn't so bad," Steve said sounding relieved.

"Zat vas penicillin." Erskine said slightly perturbed.

Deanna began to giggle.

"Shut Up!" Steve yelled at her.

“Sorry, Steve”

Dr. Erskine shrugged and turned around to Stark.

"Serum infusion beginning in 5…4…3…"

The countdown was as slow as molasses, as the needles came down onto their arms. "2…1."

The serum drained from their containers, flowed down through smaller tubes, into the needles, and then penetrated into their flesh. Deanna took in several deep breaths. She felt her body shifting and morphing. Her fears were coming to fruition, it did hurt, a lot and it took all of her strength not to cry out in pain.

She looked over at Steve, from what she could see he didn’t seem to be faring much better.

"Now Mr. Stark," she heard Dr. Erskine command. She felt the pods moving upward as they began to closing round her. It was akin to being encased in a coffin. She prayed it wouldn’t become one.

Steve heard a light tap on the window of his container. "Steven," rang the German accented voice. "Can you hear me?"

There was a silent pause before he faintly heard,

"It's probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?"

He received no answer so he assumed that was a yes. Dr. Erskine walked over to the smaller container and knocked on that one.

"Deanna, 'ow are you doing in zere?"

“Do I still have time to change my mind? Don’t answer that, let’s just get this over with.”

"We vill proceed."

Howard activated something as she noticed her pod getting brighter and brighter. She closed her eyes in an attempt to protect them.

"That's 10%." She heard Howard call out

"20%...30…that's 40%."

"Vital signs normal on both ends."

"That's 50%...60! 70!"

That's when the pain started far worse than the serum alone. Her body was stretching, growing and contorting, doing all sorts of things it wasn’t supposed to do. It was like she had eaten one of those Eat Me cakes from Alice in Wonderland. The pod got even smaller and more cramped. And it all hurt so badly. She was absolutely terrified. She thought she may have died and gone to hell. No longer able to hold it in, she screamed. Cried out in fear and agony. And she wasn’t alone, Steve had begun to shout as well.

Dr. Erskine became panicked. He bounced from each platform trying to see inside the windows, but it was too bright to see anything. He called out their names desperately trying to get their attention.

"Shut it down!" Peggy screamed, emerging from the box to the balcony. Dr. Erskine tried pounding on their windows. There was just more screaming and wailing. "SHUT IT DOWN!"

"Kill the reactor, Mr. Stark! Kill the reactor!" Dr. Erskine called out to him as Stark frantically ran to shut the device down.

"NO!" Steve yelled. "Don't! I can do this!" He screamed.

“We’re almost there, just finish it now!” She screeched desperately.

Doctor Erskine, Howard and Peggy were all extremely hesitant to continue, but at the end of the day they weren’t the ones in the pods, and so, they reluctantly resumed.

"80…90…that's one hundred percent!" Howard called out.

Their screams were no longer audible. The pods were smoking ad too bright to look at. Sparks flew everywhere. Then it ceased. The machines powered down and the bright light dimmed until it was nothing. The room became quiet for a split moment before Dr. Erskine eagerly urged Howard to open the containers. He complied.

The doors finally opened. The once sick and small privates were gone. Two practical gods stood in their place. They were the perfect soldiers.

There was hustle and bustle as everyone in the room tried to make their way to the two soldiers. Dr. Erskine helped Steve down from his containment unit and Howard did the same for Deanna.

"How are you?" Howard asked her.

"Out of breath and really hot, but other than that I've never felt better. Though it looks like I’m going to have to buy a lot of new clothes now."

The inventor laughed and she chuckled with him. This was going to take some getting used to.

Deanna saw a crowd of people gathering around Steve and herself, just trying to get a closer look at them, but she barely noticed it. She was far too focused on the feel of her new body. Never in her life had she felt so healthy. Her Tachycardia wasn’t something that caused her too much trouble, though it put her at a huge risk of heart attacks and strokes, and smoke inhalation could be deadly to her. Now she could feel her heart beating steadily now. It felt…right.

"We did it." Steve said to Dr. Erskine, slightly limping as he adjusted to walking again.

"Yeah, yeah I zink ve did it"

Steve and Deanna stood side by side,but didn't look at the other. They were sore and breathing hard and just couldn't focus on anything other than the experience 

Peggy pushed her way in front of the crowd to stand in front of the two. She was speechless for what seemed like a long time.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

"Taller," Steve said

“Fuller.” Said Deanna at the same time.

Peggy took the white t-shirts the nurse was holding for them and handed them to each one so they could put them on.

"You…you two look amazing."

She was still almost speechless. There was nothing else to say so finally, the two looked at each other…and were speechless as well.

Deanna looked over at her friend for the first time since they started the procedure. Her eyes widened in complete and utter shock. Steve was no longer scrawny. All of his muscles were defined. He was tall, he had grown over half a foot. His skin was no longer that sickly pale shade. He was practically glowing. Everything about him looked flawless. She salivated a little bit at he sight of him. The doctor had done it he made him the peak of human perfection.

Steve looked over at Deanna. Her self-description had been right, she had filled out, she had curves, muscles, had grown slightly taller and was a lot fuller in the chest area. Even her green eyes glowed like never before. She looked absolutely beautiful.

"Steve?" She questioned in a breathless whisper. Steve still couldn't say anything. He just smiled. It was one of the biggest smiles he had ever smiled. Deanna returned the gesture. Tears of joy began to slide down her cheeks.

Lost for words Deanna just stood there for a moment in shock.

"Holy Crap Steve!" She said awestruck, unable to say anything else.

He sent her a huge smile before finally putting on his new shirt and she quickly followed suit. For a moment they just stood there catching their breath, but the moment was interrupted by an explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the big act one climax. I'm not exactly doing parts but I'd say this is the end of Part 1 if I had to put a period on this.
> 
> I took the title for the chapter from the Umbrella Academy episode of the same name. (I'd also recommend watching the show. It's pretty great.)
> 
> I was thinking a lot about what is must have been like for someone to have gone through the serum treatment. 
> 
> Yes in canon we do hear screams but when you really get down to it, this is some straight up body horror and it's kinda glossed over. 
> 
> Think about it, your body is growing at a rate it never should right before your eyes. Even if it it's going to make you healthy It has to be some of the scariest stuff  
> a person could ever go through, and I wanted to capture that panic if just a little. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed more to come.


	9. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna and Steve have to grapple with their new abilities, loss and a major curveball and setback.

Glass shards rained down onto them, small pieces imbedding themselves into their skin. Steve quickly covered Deanna and Peggy, shielding them from the shards.

When the explosion settled down, a man in a gray suit with black hair was running, but not from the glass. He was heading towards the test tube rack where the two leftover tubes of serum sat. He grabbed both of them. "

Stop him!" Dr. Erskine shouted, facing towards the man, trying to save his creation from falling into the wrong hands. The man pulled out a gun and shot the doctor in the chest and stomach.

Deanna let out a bloodcurdling "No!"

The man rushed past the panicking crowd, taking advantage of the diversion, and started heading up the stairway as Dr. Erskine fell to the ground. Peggy sprang into action almost immediately, shooting at the man as he fled.

Steve grabbed Deanna's shaking hand and pulled her over to where the doctor, their friend, lay dying. They crouched down, trying to do something. The doctor only pointed at their hearts. He wanted them to stay who they were. And then the scruffy German scientist gently closed his eyes and took one final breath.

Deanna’s tears streamed down her face. How could the world do this to, take away Erskine, one of the most gentile souls she had ever met. He could have done so much more good for the world, and one bullet ended all that.

Deanna looked back up at Steve, his sorrow was gone and a look of pure rage and anger was on full display. Her anger began to bubble to the surface as well and she let out a shriek.

The two ran up the stairs back In the antique store, the poor old lady with the pink cardigan’s body laid stone dead on the floor. Next to her was Thompson, it looked like she had made a failed attempt to stop him the assailant.

Outside, the two men in raggedy clothes were also killed and a car was blown up. What the hell? How did this happen so fast?

The action was far from over. Starting with Peggy who was playing chicken with the thief who was in a taxi cab, while she only had a gun. She shot at her target twice, she missed twice, it was clear she would miss again. But before she was splattered across the windshield like a bug, Deanna tackled her to the other side of the road.

"I had him!" She yelled furiously.

"No, you didn’t! He was going to run you over Peggy, and I’m not about to lose another friend today!" Deanna countered. Peggy sent her a glare, but Deanna only ran after the apologizing Steve as they raced down the street. Their pants were too short and their feet were bare. There was too much adrenaline coursing through their veins though and Deanna couldn't feel any pain. They both picked up their pace, running faster than any normal person could. The taxi turned down a corner, they were way too far.

"This way!" Steve yelled and he led her down an alley way.

"You sure?"

"YES! I told you I know this neighborhood! Now go!"

Sure enough, they could see the taxi on the other side of the alley. Picking up momentum, they dodged cars and crossed a street. Steve cut his turn too wide though and ended up crashing through a bridal shop window, knocking over several mannequins in the process. He jumped back out just as quickly as he crashed in and apologized once more. Deanna had slowed down some but was still running, so once Steve caught up with her they ran faster. The two ran down another alley, but this one had a high fence blocking it.

"Steve-"

"Jump," he interrupted her. As he launched himself over the fence She instinctively followed suit and found herself practically flying, she landed on her feet and almost fell flat on face but managed to barely keep her balance. She ran forward and across the street, nearly getting hit by a car. They were so close when Steve literally started playing hopscotch on cars. "Holy shit Steve!" He ignored her and landed on the taxi, holding onto the sides.

The driver desperately tried to shake him off, Steve desperately tried to cling on, and Deanna desperately tried to catch up. The taxi driver led them into a shipping yard near the river and started to shoot through the roof to get Steve off. In all the confusion, the taxi hit the front end of a semi and flipped over several times. Steve rolled across the cement and Deanna helped him back up when she reached him.

The man got out of the cab, bloodied but not beaten, and began shooting at them once more. Steve picked up the broken off car door and held it in front of him. Deanna ducked behind him as the shots vibrated the car door.

People were screaming and running. Their panicked faces made Deanna feel somewhat useless. She had to do something. In all the panic, the German man grabbed a little boy from his hysterical mother and used him as leverage.

Steve immediately dropped the car door and tiredly limped over to where the man was taking the boy. Deanna started to follow him, though she was somewhat faster as she didn't have a limp. The man was taking the little red headed boy to the Pier and he shot at the super soldiers when they began to follow him. He cursed something at them in German, but Deanna and Steve ignored him and instead followed anyway. All the way the little kid was screaming and kicking, trying to get away from the man. The man turned around a corner. Steve grabbed Deanna's hand and pulled her behind a huge metal ball. The man shot at it and Steve protectively held onto Deanna. The man left around another corner, more towards the water and Deanna quickly escaped Steve's death hold, beckoning him to follow her. At the pier, the man only caught a glimpse of Steve and Deanna before he put the cold metal gun against the little boy's head. Seeing this, Steve put his hands up in surrender.

"Wait don't! Don't!" The man then aimed the gun at Deanna.

"No don't!" Steve yelled. This time the gun was turned on him.

Steve visibly flinched. As the little boy struggled, the man became fed up with him and threw him into the water before running away. The two ran up to save the boy but when they looked down.

"Go get him! I can swim!" He yelled to them.

Deanna flashed the child a thumbs up before running after Steve. The team dove into the water. It was freezing cold, but Deanna was surprisingly unbothered. She was amazed at how fast they were going catching up with the submersible. Steve swam around to the side window, while Deanna stayed at the back and grabbed at the tail preventing it from moving any further as Steve punched the window out and pulled the canopy open.

Steve threw the man back onto the docks as Deanna pulled the submersible back to the surface as proof. The man picked himself up and swung a fist towards Steve but he dodged the blow and kicked the man down in return. The two vials of serum flew out of his pocket and the glass shattered. Steve grabbed the man's coat in both hands.

"Who the hell are you?"

"The first of many. Cut off one head," The greasy haired man broke off one of his teeth and bit down on it. "Two more shall take its place." His mouth was beginning to foam up. "Hail Hydra!" With one last painful lurch, he collapsed. Death by cyanide.

Steve dropped the dead man's coat and looked down at his hands. At long last it well and truly hit him that his body was fundamentally changed. His newfound strength was anything but ordinary. He never would have been capable of that feet of strength just an hour ago.

“Steve? Are you alright?”

“Nothing’s ever going to be the same anymore is it?”

“I don’t think so, whatever that serum did to us…” That's when they both spotted the broken tubes of serum. Deanna muttered a curse under her breath. All of Dr. Erskine's research was now in their genes. The rest of it was spilled across the concrete.

"C'mon," Steve stated nodding towards the way they came. "Let's get back to the base. They'll need us there."

Deanna quickly nodded her head and followed her friend towards the military base. People gave them strange looks as they walked down the roads. The bridal shop was a complete mess. The workers were sweeping up the glass and readjusting the mannequins. They sent some particularly nasty glares towards them. Both smiled sheepishly and apologized profusely, promising to pay for the damage caused. The army had some kind of…property damage insurance, at least she hoped so. The walk back took longer, but they also weren't running to catch a criminal.

Once arriving at the "antiques" store, Peggy was waiting outside for them. Her arms were crossed, her lips were twisted into a scowl, and her foot was impatiently tapping on the ground.

"Did you catch him?" She asked.

"Yes". Steve said somberly

"And?" She asked, expecting more.

"Suicide," Deanna informed her.

"Cyanide capsule." Steve added.

"Did you get back the serum?" Peggy asked the two of them.

“I’m sorry Peggy.” Deanna replied, defeated.

Peggy sighed. All of that work was wasted.

"Any idea as to who he was?" Peggy asked and the two women could almost hear Steve swallow in nervousness before finally speaking.

"He-he said 'Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.” Steve told her

“His last words were Hail Hydra.” Deanna added.

Peggy visibly paled and her scowl turned into an open-mouthed stare. She sighed and then she quickly took their hands, and the three of them stood in silence for a moment of mourning.

* * *

As soon as they walked in, they were bombarded by a military personal, journalists, and nurses.

Making their way through the swarm,they were led back to a room with a few beds and medical equipment.

An overly bubbly blonde nurse came over with bundles of clothes.

As she handed the respective bundles to each of them, Deanna caught the nurse's eyes lingering on Steve a little too long for her liking.

 _Keep your eyes to yourself._ Deanna thought. Though she also wondered why she was so bothered. Now wasn’t the time to care though and Deanna led herself over to a small table where they had laid out some new clothes for her.

They had given her a new properly fitting uniform. Very plain, though it felt far better than ill-fitting pants and bandages she had been stuck wearing since the procedure. After changing, she came back from behind the curtain and a red headed nurse came over and brought her to the table next to Steve's. They proceeded into a series of medical tests.

"We’re gonna have to draw a fair amount of blood.” Deanna nodded before glancing over to Steve.

His usually twinkling blue eyes were dull and glazed over. He stared off into nothing.

The red headed nurse looked over too.

"He's just still in shock from the whole thing. I know how he feels. My grandfather died suddenly, completely out of the blue. It was life shattering." Deanna turned her attention back to the nurse.

“Yeah I understand I lost my father to heart attack when I was eight years old. Turned my family’s life upside down. I’m pretty gutted myself, Erskine was just such a great man. I can’t understand why someone would take his life. Life is so unfair sometimes. I just hope Steve will be alright…OUCH!” She asked and then winced when the needle went through her arm. The blood started to flow through the tube.

"Sorry. Probably should have had you count from three. I just had trouble finding the vein and didn’t want to miss my chance.” The Nurse said.

“It’s all right, do what you have to. Trust me it wasn’t as bad as what I went through this morning.” said Deanna. 

“Fair enough, anyway I can say from experience that when it comes to grief there are bad days and good days, but it helps if you've got someone to share the pain with."

She nodded over to where Steve sat. Hopefully, they could get through it together.

Eventually the nurses filled up at least a dozen tubes of blood each. They took the needles out of their arms, wiped off the blood, and let them go.

"I think you've got enough." He said dryly. The nurse smiled at him and walked away. Steve got up from his seat and then walked over to Deanna.

"Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic codes." Peggy said from where she sat across from them. "But without Dr. Erskine it will take years."

"He deserved more than this." Steve said grimly.

"If it could only work once, he'd be proud it was you." She diverted her attention to an open manila folder. She looked back up at them with a small smile. Steve was still skeptical though.

"Come with me, The Colonel will want to see." Deanna wordlessly followed her, keeping her eyes on the ground and her hands together behind her back. Going down the stairs, they could hear the voices and Colonel Phillips and Senator Brandt.

"Colonel Phillips, my committee is demanding answers!" The senator sounded extremely upset. But the colonel wasn't one for sympathy.

"Great, why don't we start with how a German spy got a ride to my secret instillation in your car? What do we got here?"

The German submersible was suspended in the air as Stark looked it over.

"Speaking modestly, I'm the best mechanical engineer in this country. But I don't know what's inside this thing or how it works. We're not even close to this technology."

"Then who is-"

"Hydra," Colonel Phillips answered the senator quickly. "I'm sure you've been reading our debriefing reports." The senator sucked in a sharp breath.

"I'm on a number of committees Colonel."

Deanna rolled her eyes

“Politicians.” she said under her breath.

"Hydra is the Nazi deep science division." Peggy informed coolly. "It's led by Johann Schmidt, but he has much bigger ambitions."

"Hydra's practically a cult. They worship Schmidt. They think he's a god."

"What are you going to do about it?" The Senator asked gruffly. The Colonel inhaled sharply. "

Spoke to the President this morning, as of today the S.S.R. is being re-tasked." He walked up to where the agent and two super soldiers stood.

"Colonel?" Peggy asked in a surprisingly soft tone.

"We are taking the fight to Hydra. Pack your bags Agent Carter, you too Stark. We're flying to London tonight." Hearing this, Deanna's head popped up. She repeatedly hit Steve on the arm, trying to get him to understand the meaning. As the colonel was walking away, Steve finally seemed to get it.

"Sir," They stood straight and tall. Colonel Phillips turned to face them. "If you're going after Schmidt, we want in." Colonel Phillips seemed to have other plans though and he shot down theirs quickly.

"You're experiments. You're both going to Alamogordo." Steve shut his eyes tight and opened them.

"The serum worked-"

"I asked for an army and all I got was you. You…are not enough."

“Army or not, enough or not why the hell do want to waste us? If it wasn’t for us Hydra would have the serum in its clutches! What’s worse an Army of Nazi super soldiers, or the two of us on your side? Fine go ahead and take my blood, my skin and my hair fine, but you cannot lock us up like guinea pigs!” The Colonel turned around and looked at Deanna with daggers in his eyes.

“Bradford, you wanna be court marshaled for insubordination?”

“No Sir.”

“Then never speak to me or any of your superiors like that again, you understand?”

“Yes Sir. I’m sorry Sir.” He turned away.

Steve and Deanna put their heads down in defeat. Deanna wished she hadn’t said that, she probably ruined their chances of ever being shipped out, but she had to say something. That was until they heard the clicking and clacking of dress shoes. They looked up to see Senator Brandt standing in front of them.

"With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we're maybe missing the point here. I've seen you in action Steve, Deanna. More importantly, the country's seen it. Paper!" His assistant came scurrying over with a copy of the day's paper. One the front page was a picture of Steve holding up the car door as a shield and Deanna was behind his.

"The enlistment lines have been around the block since your pictures have hit the newsstands." The head line read "Wednesday, June 23rd, 1943: NAZIS IN NEW YORK! MYSTERY MAN AND WOMAN SAVE CHILD!" They had done the experiment early enough in the morning that this article could have been rushed to the papers.

"You don't take a soldier…a symbol…and hide them, in a lab like that." It sounded so tempting. The senator led Steve away by the shoulder, the latter grabbed onto Deanna's hand and pulled her along, stumbling her way with them.

"Son, do you and your girl here-"

"Oh, we're not together."

"Nevertheless, do you two want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war?" The two quickly shared a glance.

"Sir that's all we want." Steve said The senator smiled.

"Then congratulations," He held out his hand for Steve to shake. "You just got promoted."

* * *

“You want us to do what?” Deanna practically shouted.

The day after the procedure the pair found themselves facing the senator in his office who had a rather peculiar proposal.

“You’d be stars. Each one of you will be traveling across the country, coast to coast, all fifty states, to get the American people to join in on the patriotism. You sell bonds, bonds buy bullets, and bullets kill Nazis. Bam! You're a hero. Now for Deanna we've got something a little different. I understand that as a woman, it's important to show how your gender is capable of doing more than what many assume. You'll be encouraging women to work in the factories or join the Red Cross. Both are essential in this time of war and we need as many women joining as we can get. You'll also need to convince the men that it's okay to let their wives…sisters…girlfriends…daughters…etc. join the war effort. Nothing too complicated, but nothing too simple as well. Following that we plan for films, comics, merchandise, the whole shebang. America will love you both. You said you wanted to serve your country didn’t you."

“Not like this.” Steve said

“My friend is right Senator. We wanted to fight, my brother and his best friend are out there right now risking everything. And my brother didn’t even volunteer like Steve and I, he was drafted. How is that fair? and what about Dr. Erskine this feel horribly disrespectful to his legacy and all the hard work he put into creating us.”

“Mister Rogers, Miss Bradford I understand this isn’t what you wanted or imagined, but I have a lot of influence, do this for me I think I can get you onto the front lines.”

Steve looked over at Deanna, signaling for them to talk about. She could tell he wanted to discuss this with her at length.

"Senator would you mind if we take a few to think about. We should know our answer before we leave; we would just like to discuss this privately." Deanna asked.

The senator gave a nod and directed them into the hallway and into another room across from his office.

"You can converse in here. I'll just be doing some paper work in my office; you just knock whenever you're ready." Both agreed and went into the room, Steve closing the door in the process.

"What do you think?" She asked him.

“This not what I pictured when I signed up for this. I’m really not sure. It sounds like we could do a lot of good, but you and I both know we could be doing more.”Steve said.

"This is going to sound odd coming from me but, I think we should go for it. We either take the senator up on his offer and do something good for the country or we get shipped off and tested on."

Steve nodded and looked around.

"I guess you're right, I just don't like the sound of this. it seems almost too good to be true.”

“I wouldn’t call being forced to sing in a costume like a dancing monkey too good to be true Steve.”

“You really think we should go for it?" Deanna hesitated, but nodded slowly. There were two options: do this thing or be a lab rat. At least this way they wouldn’t be poked and prodded like meat bags.

"Ok then, let's do it."

Steve and Deanna walked back to the office grabbing the attention the Senator.

"So, have you come to a decision?" The two exchanged a looked; Deanna's lips were pressed into a thin line.

"Yes, we've decided to take you up on your offer Senator Brandt."

"Excellent! Let's make some history!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long for an update.
> 
> I recently moved country and it's been quite a process (and by process I mean complete mess that still isn't over.) but I managed to get this chapter completed. I don't know when I will be able to get the next one up, but I am working on it.
> 
> I wanted to dig into the grief of our characters. Show some quieter moments as well as some ugly sides too.
> 
> As for Deanna's outburst, I personally think she would have held her tongue had she not been grieving and quite recently gone through a very painful procedure that has permanently changed her body. While she does bring up some valid points she'd normally understand how important it was to get the program back on it's feet, but being under all that stress she let it all out.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


	10. It's All Fun and Games.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's showtime!

"God damnit!" Deanna shrieked.

That had been the fourth time she’d been pricked. The seamstress they chose to make her costume had both shaky hands and a very holier than thou attitude and made life difficult for everyone involved. It also didn’t help that her designs were horrid. To put it lightly she was no Edith Head.

“Then stand still, girl!”

Deanna had been standing as still as a statue for the past three hours and now this woman had the gall to accuse her of being the problem.

"I haven’t moved a bit. Maybe if you knew how to do your job you wouldn't be stabbing me!"

"You know what I’m done! I will not be treated like this! Don’t you dare tell me that I can’t do my job! I quit!"

Deanna pinched the bridge of her nose, the fingers still feeling too large for her body. Drama seemed to be following her wherever she went, and this certainly wasn't going to be the smooth sailing they promised.

Two days after their first meeting, Deanna and Steve were taken to another government base. Though this time they were being fitted for costumes. As it turned out part of the deal with the senator meant they'd be doing this whole thing basically wrapped in the American Flag.

The two of them weren’t happy about this, but seeing as they had no other choice, Deanna and Steve went along with it.

But after her outburst, the angry seamstress gathered her things and marched out the door, much to the chagrin of Millie, the personal assistant to Brandt.

"Deanna!" Millie practically screamed. "We need your costume by Monday and we have no seamstress! What are we going to do now?"

“I’m sorry.” Deanna said half-heartedly as she shook off the monstrosity the angry lady called a costume. She hated it, it clashed, had too many materials and was far too gaudy for even the most flamboyant burlesque show. No way would she be caught dead wearing it.

"Deanna this is serious; we can't just pick up any random seamstress off the street, this is a government program! And I imagine you don't actually know any seamstresses personally now do you?"

"I do in fact, My brother’s fiancé, Helen Miller. I tried telling you about her, but you had no interest in listening to me."

Millie's curiosity was piqued.

"Really? Do you think you could get her down here right now?"

“That depends how much will you be paying her for her services?”

“If she’s going to be designing America’s sweethearts outfit then we’ll pay top dollar for her work.” Millie said ecstatically.

“Alright I’ll give her a call, is there a phone around here somewhere?”

Millie nodded violently before leading her to a rotary phone and Deanna dialed the number.

"Hello?" Helen answered after two rings.

"Hi Helen it's Dee."

"Deanna? Oh my god, where have you been? I haven’t seen hide or hair from you in weeks! We've been worried about you! Mavis told me you were okay, but she wouldn't say where you were? Are you okay?" Helen asked flustered as Deanna giggled.

"I can't really tell you what's been going on yet, but I am okay. Listen, you told me you wanted to design your own clothing. How would you like to be in charge of your own costuming project?”

"May I ask What exactly this project is?" Helen asked perplexed.

Deanna sighed

“It’s kinda secret but I swear I will let you in on everything if you come and help.”

“Alright, normally I’d run screaming for the hills, but you’re family and I trust you.”

"Great, I need you here ASAP.”

"Okay, give me the address. I'll be right there."

"Thanks, so much Helen!"

Deanna quickly gave her the address and hung up. Millie was standing behind her, waiting impatiently for an answer.

"She’s in! “Millie gave a grin back and rushed off to tell the guards to allow the new girl in.

They waited for Helen for a brief while. She wasn't too far away and got there quicker than expected. The short blonde woman walked in, shyly carrying a large sewing kit.

"Deanna? Can you tell me what's going o…OH MY GOD!" Helen screamed as she laid eyes on a much different looking Deanna.

Deanna struggled not to burst out laughing.

“Dee, what on God’s Green Earth happened to you!”

"Helen take a deep breath in and put your stuff next to the table and I’ll tell you everything."

And so, Deanna told her all that had happened to her since the two parted ways at the expo all those months ago. Dr. Erskine finding her, the training, the procedure, the Hydra agent, and the senator's plans.

"That's why we need you. I need a costume for my shows and I annoyed my seamstress so much that she quit." Deanna said

Helen giggled bubbly.

"That's sounds exactly like you Dee. I just can't believe that you've been in the army this entire time! I mean, I'm proud of you and all but it's just so weird. Still I'm glad someone's finally taking a stand for us."

“Enough gushing, just make me a stupid outfit!" Both of them laughed. "But thank you for supporting my decision to do this. Also, please, don't tell my mother about this!"

"Please I can barely stand the woman why would I make her more insufferable to be around? Your secret’s safe with me."

“Thanks Helen. Thank you so much.”

Millie walked in and introduced herself to Helen, then pulled out various pieces of concept art.

Helen took one look at the designed and her face morphed into a scowl.

"So, they want you in a giant American flag?"

“Yup.”

"Well to be frank I'm not sure how that lady you scared away got her job. These are all dreadful, none of these will do. I’m going to have to start from square one.”

“Not sure that’s possible we need this costume by Monday.”

“Well guess I have to work with what I’ve got”

She took another look at the concept art and began to make a phoenix from the ashes taking bit and pieces into one beautiful outfit.

"I like the way you think Helen." Deanna said impressed.

Helen laughed and immediately went to work putting together the costume that would soon get America's people into the war effort.

* * *

"Now after me, Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do." Helen sang, as they sat in her apartment the day before the first show.

Deanna repeated it reluctantly, feeling ridiculous. This was the complete opposite of what she wanted to do. It still felt like salt on the wound to be doing these shows in a gaudy costume, rather than using her new body and recent military training on what it was meant for. She truely hoped that this would lead her to the path she wanted, a path Erskine would have wanted.

"Great job! now let's work on your lyrics." Helen said dragging Deanna back to reality.

The two of them spent the next few hours practicing. Vocal exercises, dancing practice, the whole nine yards. 

As they were finishing up the sun began setting.

"Great job Deanna you have such an amazing voice you're going to dazzle every one tomorrow." Helen gushed. 

"Thanks." Deanna said somewhat crestfallen.

"Is something wrong Dee?" Helen said concerned for her sister in all but blood. 

"Helen do you think I'm doing the right thing?" Deanna asked.

"What do you mean Dee?"

"Well You know me doing this was one of two choices. Steve and I could have done this or we could have been shipped out to a lab and tested on. I really didn't want to be a human guinea pig but at the same time seeing as what I'm about to start doing, part of me wonders if I should've chosen to go to the lab, at least then we might have a faster chance a recreating Dr. Erskine's work. I mean sure they have our blood but I don't know maybe if they have us it would be easier for them... I'm just, I don't know uncertain I guess...and maybe even a little guilty."

"Dee I won't tell you to do it for America or any of that patriotic hogwash, after all America is the same country that drafted Kevin. But what I will tell you is that only you can decide what path to take in this one and only life. And you said that you didn't want to be stuck in a lab being treated like a test animal, nor did your friend. And from the way you talked about this Doctor, I doubt he'd want you and Steve to subject yourselves to that either."

"But we already had, we volunteered for the procedure, we didn't have to do it. The serum could have killed us and we chose to take it anyway."

"But Dee, you two volunteered for that procedure and that procedure alone, you didn't agree to spend the rest of your life in a lab."

"I guess. I don't know, If I'm being honest I think this something I'll never really fully know if I made the right choice or not. But I do think you're right that he wouldn't want us to be subjected to tests we didn't want or consent to. Still kinda mad that I have to sing infront of these people though."

Helen laughed 

"Oh don't sell yourself short you have such a beautiful voice and besides, we can't always get what we want."

The two women laughed before Deanna grabbed her things and headed home. They would both need their sleep. 

* * *

“Do I really have to do this?" Deanna was behind the large stage curtain, getting ready to make her first performance as a representative for the Red Cross, and she was not a happy camper, mostly because of the corset she had to wear. 

“Don’t get cold feet on us now. Besides Dee, I don't think either of us wants all this hard work wasted." Helen replied as she tightened the corset strings of the bodice.

“Dear god, I feel like I’m going to drown on dry land wearing this thing. I feel like there was reason these went out of fashion. I mean how am I going to sing if I can barely breathe?”

“I know, but come on you have to admit it makes you look good.”

“Fair enough, but don’t expect me to wear it to your wedding.”

A few stray giggles escaped Helen’s lips.

"Two minutes until show time!" A stage hand called out.

"Okay," Helen concluded with one last pull. "You're all done. Take a look!" She led Deanna to a mirror where a different girl was staring back.

The dress was a bit over the top, sparkles everywhere and the classic Stars and Stripes. The red corset was still constricting her, though she was just going to have get used to that. The skirt was nice, short flowy and a bright blue. Though her make-up was another story.

Pounds and pounds of shimmering red eyeshadow, bright blue eyeliner, so much blush, and sparkling red lipstick had been caked into her face. 

She had been told by everyone that stage makeup had to be overkill if she wanted anyone to see it, but she still thought she looked like a little girl who had stolen her mother’s cosmetics.

She was supposed to have a "weapon" to go along with the costume. Steve had gotten a shield. They gave her a light brown leather bullwhip and a gun attached to holster in her hip like she was goddamn cowboy. 

Deanna's thick dark hair had grown out somewhat since her time at basic and was now back at her shoulders. It was curled even more into loose curls and pulled up into a high ponytail with a glittery red bow. Dare she say it, despite the makeup, she didn't look half bad. 

"Well look at you hot stuff! Someone's going to get a few numbers tonight. Won't Steve be surprised?"

"What are you talking about? Steve's busy, he has a show tomorrow." Helen shook her head with a wide grin.

"Well from what I heard, He finished rehearsal and is coming to your opening night!" Deanna looked at Helen suspiciously

"Did you invite him?"

“No, He was planning on going no matter what, and you know even if he wasn’t he’d be at the dinner that the senator is throwing in both of your honors tonight. But I did invite someone else.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s my mother!”

“No, no, it’s not her, as far as I know she’s still in the dark about all of this. No, I had to move heaven and earth to get him to agree to it but I got Mavis an invite too and she said she’s coming. Dear god she misses you Dee. I think it would be nice.”

The senator had arranged a celebratory dinner after the performance. She wasn’t surprised but she had a feeling that all she’d want to do after the show was go to sleep, not socialize even more. Still it did seem nice to her have her nearest and dearest with her.

“I’ll admit that does sound nice. Thanks Lady.”

"So…you and Steve…what is he, like...a brother…best friend…more than a friend?"

Deanna honestly didn’t know how to answer that question. She figured they were each other's best friend, although Mavis was already her best friend, and Bucky was his. She supposed it was possible to have more than one, but then again, the longer she spent with him the more she felt something different with him than she ever had with Mavis. After all she did feel somewhat jealous when Agent Carter looked at him and same with the nurse. She wondered if Steve felt the same. But she didn’t know what exactly the other thing she felt was. She didn’t want to think about right now, she had a show to put on.

“It’s almost curtain call Helen, gotta go.” Deanna said

"Alright then Dee, better get on stage and wow that crowd, America's Sweetheart!"

 _This is it. I can do this. Just breathe Deanna. You'll be fine. So, what if you're a show girl. It's for the people of America. Be proud. I can do this._ And then there was music playing. It was a very classic sounding tune that was jazzy and could easily go on stage. She began to hear the singers.

♪♬ “Oh, she’s the girl, the girl who will save, save the United States!” ♬♪

♪♬ “Oh she’s the girl, the girl who is brave and will win this war today.” ♬♪

♪♬ “Like Columbia before her, she come out swinging out for’a, for the United States!” ♬♪

♪♬” She’s a Marvelous Maiden, sweet to our hearts.”♬♪

♪♬"But don’t let that fool you she’s as tough as a rock”♬♪

♪♬“She’s The American Maide!” ♬♪

♪♬ “She’s The American Maide! And she’s here to win the Day!” ♬♪

♪♬ “Oh, she’s the girl, the girl who will save, save the United States!” ♬♪

That was her cue walked through the curtain on the stage. There was a loud roar of cheering and applause.

♪♬ Oh I’m the girl who came to save, save the United States!” ♬♪

♪♬ “I will fight to save this Land from the Krauts and from Japan!” ♬♪

♪♬ “To all those all those who will not yield, they’ll soon know who they should fear!”♬♪

♪♬ “I will not bend, I will waver, for am the I am this great land’s own savior!” ♬♪

♪♬ "Cause I’m the girl, the girl who will save, save the United States!" ♬♪

She thought the song was cheesy (and far too self-centered). But it was what the people wanted.

"My name is The American Maide! While our boys are overseas, we all know it's important to make sure we keep them safe! But too many people are wondering what they can do! I'm here to let you know that no matter your age or gender, there's something you can do to help! Volunteering for the Red Cross can help out our troops by simply putting together care packages for the soldiers over in Europe." She said almost overly rehearsed.

The crowd was ecstatic. Most of it was little kids with their parents. The children in the audience helped her greatly. They would shout to her, like she actually was a superhero taking off time just to see them. Deanna would get them involved by asking questions and simply having fun. At one point, an actor dressed in a rather offensive caricature of Emperor Hirohito was supposed to come on stage and try to strangle The American Maide.

"So, remember kids, every little thing you do to help out America is one step closer to winning the war!" She was “stopped” by the kids in the audience yelling to her, trying to get her attention.

"Turn around miss!"

"Behind you Maide!"

"He's behind you!"

And right on cue she would spin around, “grab his arm twist it and knee Hirohito in the groin” while the actor “limped away defeated” after.

The little kids burst into applause, their little smiles going from ear to ear. She felt her heart glowing a bit. She had seen how sad everyone was since the war broke out. While she still wanted to do far more at least she was spreading some good into the world.

She sang a few more bars as she scanned the audience and she finally caught a glimpse of Steve. His eyes were unmistakable. She could see him smiling and cheering along with the crowd. Deanna smiled back staring into his eyes, but she had to tell herself not to get too distracted, after all the show must go on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first saw TFA I actually kinda hated the musical sequence and would fast forward through it, though I've come around in recent years. Binging the soundtracks to several broadway and west end musicals will give you a better appreciation for things like that.
> 
> So I decided to try my hand at writing a song for Deanna. I in no way say it's good, in fact it's purposely cheesey but I wanted to honor the spirit of that scene.  
> Plus in my head you can't have Mandy Moore be in a meaty role like this and not have her sing at least once. Heck I even got a few notes from Helen, as there's no way in hell I wouldn't let Princess Anna herself not get at least a little burst.
> 
> In case you were wondering, Edith Head was a famous Oscar Winning costume designer from the Old Hollywood era, rumor has it she's one of Edna Mode's inspirations.
> 
> As for the lyric "Like Columbia before her." That's a bit of a dig at Manifest Destiny. A rather self centered and let's not mince words here horrific policy, which would probably be still a thing on the mind of the older top brass of the US government at the time. 
> 
> My fancasting obsession continues for Millie, and it really wants a Good Place reunion seeing that I've headcanoned D'Arcy Carden. Meh she's already proven herself as Janet what's another assistant role? Though less Busty Alexa and more Effie Trinket without the hair and make-up.
> 
> And finally on the subject of the superhero name (or right now stage name) I decided to change it from Lady Liberty which I have seen in numerous fics to The American Maide, as a bit of a play on Maiden and American Made, but overall I wanted an original name.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	11. Pressure and Flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna has to deal with some unexpected consequence of being a newly minted icon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning/Trigger Warning mild racial language.

"That's all the time I have for today guys! I'm The American Maide, telling you to support our great nation in this time of war! Join the American Red Cross!" 

There was a final cheer from the audience and Deanna practically ran back behind the curtain to get changed for the big dinner.

Deanna sprinted over to her vanity and got right to work on wipping the glittering eye makeup off her face. It took longer than she would have liked, so she didn't have a chance to change clothes before she heard the effervescent voice of Millie.

"Miss Bradford!" Deanna turned around in her chair to see Millie clicking her heels her way. "Excellent job Deanna! You did stupendous out there. This is going to go far! You've got tomorrow off; we'll see you in two days for your next show. If these New York runs go well, well I heard through the grapevine that these could be a national tour!" Millie flashed her a wide smile.

“Thanks Millie.” she said as he heart sank, a national tour was invitable but she didn't particularly care for the idea 

"And by the way, Private Rogers and your colored friend have arrived. Should I send them back here?"

“Yes, please. Also, as you called her, my "colored friend" her name, is Mavis Rambeau and I’d appreciate you calling her that.”

“Noted.” Millie said slightly annoyed. 

Millie went to let the two in and Deanna went behind a changing screen to put on her dinner clothes, only to find that she couldn’t get her corset off. She muttered some curse words and frantically tried getting it off. She was failing spectacularly at the task, which only frustrated her more and she let out even more profanities.

"Having a little trouble there, ma'am?" Deanna stopped what she was doing at the sound of the familiar deep voice. She quickly snapped her head to look at a grinning Steve while a piece of her dark brown hair fell on her face. She blew it away and smiled. 

"Steve! Hi! It's good to see you! Um…yeah…I'm having…a bit of trouble here. Do you…do you think you could help me out?" He laughed and went over behind the screen to start undoing the corset strings while Deanna held onto the dress so it wouldn't slip and fall. 

"So, you looking forward to tonight’s celebratory Dinner?”

“Honestly I’d rather go home and sleep but I’m glad you’ll be there, well I suppose you’ll have to be there since its in both of our honors, but still.”

“Yeah I know. We haven't seen each other in awhile…I missed you." Deanna felt that “different” feeling again it felt good to know he missed her.

She blushed. 

"No, I'm glad you’ll be there with me. Besides I think it would be nice for you to meet Mavis, only fair since I met Bucky.” She chuckled.

"Fair enough." He said.

Deanna felt the strings finally come lose and Steve's hands left her back. She turned around to face him. His ocean blue eyes were staring at her intently. What's he looking at me like that for?

Steve couldn't help but look at her. Almost as if she was art. Deanna had really changed since he first met her. He had never truly looked at her before, she really was beautiful. It was true, Steve had missed her. It had been almost painful to be away for so long. She had quickly become a best friend to him, filling the hole Bucky had left after he was shipped off. But now it was something different. Whenever he was around her he got these strange…feelings. "Uh Steve" he barely registered. All he could think about was the way her Deanna eyes sparkled just made his heart melt. His train of thought was interrupted by a loud "STEVE!" and fingers snapping in front of his face. 

"Ah sorry, what is it?"

"Geez Stevie Boy! Are you on drugs or something? I’m not about to give you a peep show, now get out so I can change, so we can go to dinner!" Steve complied and went around, wandering back stage. He wouldn't stop looking at her with a goofy grin. Maybe the different feeling was mutual? 

Returning to her task She finally slipped the dress off and quickly redessing into a yellow swing dress.

"Deanna, where are you?" Deanna’s ears perked up. That was Mavis's voice. She went around the screen to find her best friend with mouth agape around.

“Hey Mavis. I missed you.”

“Wow Is that really you, Girl?”

“Yeah it’s really me, now close your mouth.”

“Sorry. You look good sister, you look really good, though I think I’m just glad you aren’t a blob monster.”

“What is it with you and blob monsters?”

Mavis shrugged before moving forward to hug her best friend.

“Oh god it’s been too long, though I’m kinda surprised you aren’t on the front lines right now.”

“It’s a long story. Speaking of which there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Mavis was a little confused for a second, before a lightbulb went off in her head.

"Is it the boy from your letters. Uh…. Seth?" 

"Steve, not Seth, and yeah Come on let me introduce the two of you." 

She took Mavis down the hall. Before spotting Steve talking to Helen.

“There he is. Hey Steve, mind if we join you over there?!" He popped his head up in Deanna's direction and motioned for the two women to come and join him. 

"Mavis this is Steven Rogers, Steve, this is Mavis Rambeau my best friend. and I see you already met my Brother Kevin’s fiancé Helen Miller." He turned to Mavis and shook her hand.

"Mavis, it's nice to meet you. Deanna has told me so much about you.”

“Likewise. Deanna told me about you in some of her letters as well.”

“Ah hem!” 

The four of them turned their heads it was Millie.

“Sorry to break up the party but we need to head over to the dinner, don’t want to keep Senator Brandt waiting.” She said.

“Alright let’s go.” Steve said.

The group were escorted to a car that drove them to an upscale restaurant.

Steve thought it was far too over the top. They were performers, not soldiers. What made them worthy of this luxury?

The group sat down at a large table, Deanna opting to sit next to Mavis, and began to let herself feel comfortable, when they were joined by the senator and other higher ups. A few of them began to avert their gaze towards Mavis.

“I don’t remember the colored woman getting an invitation.” One man whispered, thinking he couldn’t be heard.

Deanna, wanted to puke upon hearing that, she turned to her friend and Mavis didn’t look too comfortable either.

“I’m so sorry Mavis, you shouldn’t have to be dealing with this now. This is supposed to be a fun night.”

“Deanna, I know you, this isn’t fun, you’re here because it’s expected of you, if it was up to you, you’d be at my apartment giggling about something stupid one of the children you saw at the library, do. I’m only her because Helen pulled some strings. This stuff just doesn’t go away.”

“I know. But it doesn’t make it right. Listen I got a fair share of stares, and worse, sent my way at Lehigh, and so did Steve for that matter. So, I want you to know I’m here to talk if you need me.”

“Thanks Lady.”

Deanna looked over her shoulder and say that Helen was making small talk with Steve.

“So, Steve what do you do for a living?”

"I'm…I work for the senator currently, but being in the same situation as you future sister in law, I hope to join the army soon." 

"And what do you plan to do after the army?"

Steve, scrunched his face in thought before answering.

“I’m not entirely sure, I mean, I definitely would like to do something that would allow me to me use my art skills, and eventually I want to start a family, but the how of that is a little unclear, especially considering that until recently no woman would really give me the light of day, and I’m pretty sure most girls now just like me because I look like this.” He said while gesturing to his newly muscular form. 

Deanna began to get that feeling again. She wanted him to be happy. 

The group sat down and began eating, or at least attempted to. It was a loud but tense affair, Deanna was being bombarded by a flurry of questions by the senator’s guests.

“Miss Bradford why did you volunteer to undergoes this procedure?” One man asked.

“Well I wanted to help…” She attempted to answer.

“Miss Bradford do you have any words on the death of Doctor Erskine.” Another man interrupted.

“That’s a rather personal...”

“Miss Bradford what was it like being the only woman at Lehigh?”

“Well I wasn’t the only...”

“Miss Bradford are you friends with that colored woman there?”

“Miss Bradford are you seeing anybody?”

“Miss Bradford What and who are you wearing?”

“Miss Bradford?”

“Miss Bradford?”

“Miss Bradford?”

The questions overwhelmed her. She Thought she might have a panic attack. She wasn’t Rita Hayworth or Audrey Hepburn, she didn’t want to be a damn celebrity, that wasn’t who she was in the least.

She wanted to run. She turned to look at Mavis, then Helen, then Steve.

The former two just looked at her with sympathetic but stumped looks. She understood. Neither of them had any idea of what to do, they were as clueless as she was. Steve however, she read that that look in his eye like a book, he knew exactly how she felt because he was going through it too.

She gave him the faintest of nods and knew they would get through this together.

They continued to ask her far too many questions, the majority of which she was uncomfortable answering, but she bit her tongue and just gave a simple “A lady never gives away her secrets.” to each one, despite it making her want to vomit with the disgust from it all.

* * *

After what felt like hours the dinner mercifully came to a close.

Deanna said goodbye to Mavis and Helen and set off for the exit. 

She began taking deep breaths just trying to get her footing when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey you doin' okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah…no… I don’t know, it was a rough night, and I’m going to guess it’s going to be the first of many.”

Steve didn't reply. He simply took her hand as they walked farther away from the restaurant. 

"Do...uhh, do you want to go somewhere fun?" He asked her suddenly. 

“Steve it’s late, I’m not sure.”

“Deanna, I really think you need this and frankly so do I.”

“Okay." She said, a little shocked by his sudden burst of confidence, "Where to?”

Steve only smiled.

* * *

The bright lights of Coney Island were shining against the darkness of the sky. There was loud music and the smell of carnival food was everywhere. Steve was already pulling Deanna through the entrance while practically running. They were laughing like maniacs. This was so much better than the dinner with the Senator.

"Have you ever been here before?" She asked her companion.

"More times than I can count, Bucky and I went together as teenagers all the time. We got into a ton of shenanigans.”

“Oh, do tell Stevie boy.”

Steve laughed. 

“Maybe another time.” He answered

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him over his refusal to spill the beans. 

“What about you, Dee, you ever been? He asked.

“Twice, Dad took my family there for the Fourth of July when I was six, then again when I was nine a few months after he died. My mother thought it would be good for us to have some fun after everything that happened. And don’t call me Dee, Helen is the only one allowed to call me that.”

“Sorry, anyway, well let’s hope it’s as fun as you remember it.”

They bought their tickets and he led her throughout the different parts. Steve loved the Wonder Wheel because it had always been the only ride that didn't make him feel sick and he made her go on it at least five times. Though eventually Deanna craved more.

“Come on Steve, It’s Cyclone time!”

“I’ll Puke.”

“No, you won’t. Last time you went on this this you weren’t even a hundred pounds soaking wet. I think you can handle it better now.”

“Yeah I don’t…”

“You went through way worse at Lehigh and came out the other end intact. You can handle a rollercoaster.”

“Okay fine. But if I hurl, I’m blaming you.”

“Fair enough.”

After a thrilling ride the two stepped off the coaster. Deanna had her bearings just fine and while Steve was a little worse for wear, it was mostly just fear and he was extremely surprised at how physically fine he felt upon getting off.

“There that wasn’t so bad was it?” Deanna asked.

“I guess not.” Steve replied.

“So, wanna go again?”

“In your dreams Bradford.”

“Fine, Pansy.” She said before playfully jabbing him in the arm.

“Hey!”

“Sorry.”

“Come on there’s more to see.” He said practically dragging her by the hand.

The two walked around getting on and off rides to their heart’s content. They eventually found themselves stepping off the B&B Carousel before walking a little aimlessly.

"You want something to eat?" Steve asked. 

“Yeah, I honestly didn’t have anything at the dinner, too many questions. Not enough time to actually put food in my mouth.”

"Well we can't have that, can we?"

He led her over to an ice cream cart and got them two cones.

In the midst of eating her cone, Deanna had managed to get some jimmies in her hair. Steve ran the strand through his fingers to get them out and then tucked the strand behind her ear. He smiled down at her.

Deanna felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, almost as though she was drunk. Not enough to knock her over, but she felt as though the world aside from the two of them was melting away. However the sound of a glass breaking brought her back to reality. 

The sound came from a nearby a ball and jug game. Steve eyed it almost wickedly.

“Uh Steve?” Deanna asked. 

"Come on," He said dragging her once more, as he approached the booth

He paid the guy at the booth, chose a ball and took a pitcher’s stance. He moved forward and threw the ball. It went directly in the center and shattered the top bottle and knocked down the bottom two. The carnie just stood there in astonishment. Deanna giggled loudly at this while Steve picked out a prize. It was a small stuffed kitty with big round eyes.

"Here," he handed the kitty to Deanna and she took it happily.

“Thank you, Steve.” She said glowing before putting the plush in her bag.

The two of them walked over to the beach. It was fairly deserted at this time of night. She felt something in her gut and She knew He did too. He began to lean in closer and closer and she did the same, leaning her head up. Before the two knew it, their eyes were closed and their lips were touching.

It was a simple, soft kiss.

As she laced her hands around the back of his neck to pull him closer, she felt his hand running gently up and down her back, making her shiver. Her pulse began to quicken. She could feel tingles going up and down her spine like electricity, and a comforting warmth filled her body, she had never felt so alive in her life.

After a moment they broke apart.

“Steve, what are we doing?”

“I don’t even know I just...”

She nodded.

“I don’t either, but goddammit, I think I’m in love you.” She said.

“I think I’m in love you with too. So, now what?”

“No clue.”

She leaned in and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Looks like we've entered some uncharted waters here.
> 
> I wanted a bit of slow burn but I don't like it when these things get dragged on for chapters. I figured now 11 chapters in would be a good time to bring it up to the next level. 
> 
> Now there will be some bumps down the road, I'm trying hard to get nuisance in there, after all it is two super soldiers falling for each other while fighting during war time, that isn't going to be the most clear cut time in their lives, but I will be getting to the action soon and if I'm going to have a battle couple, I want a couple.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	12. From The Outside Looking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna contemplates what comes next. Steve takes on a new challenge.

Deanna was just putting on the finishing touches to her makeup so she could go out to see Steve’s first show, making well on to her promise to him.

She was expecting a farcical display of over the top patriotism, just as had been the case with her own show. The people who wrote these shows clearly had one goal and one goal only, to find as many ways to say that America was the best country on Earth. It wasn't surprising but still, it was ridiculous."

Her thoughts drifted to the previous night, how could they not. That night changed a lot between them. 

It had been beautiful. The stars, the waves, the lights. It felt like it was lifted right out of romance novel. The kiss was still fresh in her mind, as well as their confessions. It made her feel weak in knees.

She was so happy that he felt the same way about her. She had legitimate reasons to think he might not. She saw the way he looked at Agent Carter when they were at Lehigh and maybe she was just being paranoid, but she was pretty sure Steve felt something for the lovely English woman.

Deanna was certain that Steve had feelings for the both of them and she imagined that if it the situation had been reversed, Steve would have chosen Peggy and not her. However Deanna knew that it was Steve’s choice. He could be with whomever he wanted. She wasn’t entitled to have someone just because she had feeling for them, she had been rejected enough times at school to know this was the case. She supposed that even if any of her thoughts were true it didn't matter now, he had chosen her.

They didn’t really know what to call what they had. Were they dating or just in love? She really had no idea. It was complicated. She did love him, she knew that now. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, he was so beautiful, everything about him made her heart glow and stomach fill with butterflies, but life at the moment wasn’t exactly clear. Out of all the times to fall in love in her life, it had to be now in the middle of a war. She didn’t even want to think about what her mother would say.

“You can’t even find a man in an appropriate manner?” She could hear her mother’s shrill voice ring in her head.

 _Ugh, okay forget about that, I need to get moving._ She thought as she made her way out of her apartment.

the theater was packed She guessed a lot of people were on really looking forward to this. People really seemed to need their country morale these days and she couldn't say she blamed them. More and more people were getting drafted, the Axis was winning the war, people were dying. And it affected everyone not just the army everyone back home was having to go without, eating rations and giving up creature comforts like nylons and almost everyone had someone they cared about off fighting. It all made it so hard to stay positive. So here they were trying to keep their spirit’s high. At least that’s what she was telling herself.

She searched through the crowded auditorium, finally finding a seat next to a blonde teenage girl and a small boy who was probably her younger brother.

The show didn’t start for at least another fifteen minutes. She settled and the small boy glanced at her with curious looks, as If he knew she was American Maide.

“Miss, you look familiar.” said the little boy who was staring at her.

“Really now, do I?” Deanna playfully answered.

“Adam leave her alone. Sorry about my brother Miss. He can get a little too curious and our mother is at her factory job right now, she usually watches him and…” said the blonde teenage girl.

“No, it’s alright I used to work with kids. Now Adam how about you sit tight with your sister, the show’s going to start soon.” Deanna said.

"Okay miss."

“Thanks for being so kind Ma’am, I’m Sophie by the way. Nice to meet you”

“Deanna. Likewise.” She said as she shook Sophie’s hand.

* * *

Steve took a few deep breaths. He stood backstage in this ridiculous costume. They had given him a shield which he had taped his lines onto the back of. He wasn’t too keen on being this kind of entertainer, but he had made his bed and now he had to sleep in it.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Steve said somewhat petrified.

“Nothin' to it, you sell a few a bonds, bonds buy bullets, bullets kill Nazis. Bing bang boom, you’re an American hero.” A government worker said.

“It’s just not how I pictured getting there.”

“Senator’s gotta lot a pull on the hill. You know that, Rogers. Just play ball for us and you and the girl will be leading your own platoon in no time.”

Steve nodded as he put his ridiculous looking cowl on.

“Take the Shield. Ok, go.” He heard the man say before he was literally shoved onstage.

The orchestra blared its music and the show girls who surrounded him began to sing.

♪♬ Who's strong and brave, here to save the American Way? ♬♪

“Not all of us can storm a beach or Drive a Tank, But there’s still a way all of us can fight.”

♪♬ Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day? ♬♪

“Series E Defense Bonds. Each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun.” He said as he looked down at the back of his shield.

♪♬ Who will campaign door-to-door for America? ♬♪

♪♬ Carry the flag shore to shore for America? ♬♪

♪♬ From Hoboken to Spokane? ♬♪

♪♬ The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan! ♬♪

He scanned the audience and for just a second, he could see Deanna, the two locked eyes for a moment. She smiled and his heart melted for a moment. A he Could think about was their kiss how it had felt so amazing. His thoughts for a moment almost freezing him right onstage, but he caught himself and he knew he had to finish the act.

Like Deanna’s show there was also an Axis Boogie Man for him to take down, though in his case he was given the “honor” of “punching out Adolf Hitler.”

It was all very staged and rehearsed. He knew the actor he was “punching out”. He was a nice man, the father of three kids who wanted to do his part in the war, but didn’t want to leave his family behind either. So here he was as “The Leader of the Third Reich” getting “punched out” by the ultimate symbol of America.

The show went on for what felt like an eternity, when he began to ask himself when this would ever be over, was when act finally ended.

“That’s all my time for today folks and remember to support your military with Series E Defense Bonds.” He said before he made his way backstage to change.

He could hear the thunderous applause emanating from the theater.

“Great job son! This is going to be a sensation!”

“Thank you, Sir.” He said quickly before he finally made his way back to the green room.

He sighed, sat down and pulled the cowl off his head. This was going to be a very long road ahead of him.

* * *

“So What did you think?” Deanna asked little Adam.

“Captain America was so cool! He can beat up bad guys and save the country and everything. I bet he could end the war in one day!”

"I know he looked kinda handsome too. I wonder if he's single." Sophie mused.

Deanna swallowed awkwardly. It was a harmless teenage crush and Sophie didn't know the two had kissed last night. Not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable she shifted the conversation Adam's remarks of wonder.

“I’m sure he could end the war in one day, he's very strong and very brave...” She wasn’t sure what possessed her to say this as it could draw unwanted attention to herself but she added, “But what about The American Maide? You think she could take it on too?”

“Oh yeah I forgot about her, but she seems so amazing too, maybe they should team up!”

“Well keep your eyes open sweetheart it might just happen.” Deanna said slyly.

"Alright Adam we gotta go and help mom when she gets home, she’ll be tired after work. Oh, and Deanna thank you you’ve been so kind.” Said Sophie.

“My pleasure. I have to be somewhere myself.” Said Deanna.

Once Sophie and Adam left, along with a fair amount of the audience did as well, Deanna only had one goal, find Steve. However with it not being the night of a big fancy dinner, she wasn’t exactly welcome backstage. So, if she wanted to talk to him, she would have sneak her way in. Thankfully her military training taught her well and she was able to slither her way past the “security” backstage into the theater’s green room.

“Hey Stranger, nice show.” She said.

“Deanna!”

He ran right up to her and the two kissed for a brief second before breaking apart.

"So uh what'd ya think?" he asked her nervously.

“You did great out there. Though I will admit the costume is a bit, well...” 

“Awful. You can just say it.”

“Yeah. though you're still wearing it I see.”

“I know. I’m just too exhausted to change.”

"You are not, you're a super soldier! You're just being lazy." She said half joking half seriously.

"Fine you caught me."

“Well we're gonna have to get used to doing these for awhile. I heard a rumor from Millie that if our next few shows go well we’ll be going on tour nation-wide.” Deanna said.

“Can’t say I’m surprised. You better make nice with that corset.”

“Blehh, I want to burn it.”

“I know this won’t make it any easier to wear, but for what it’s worth you really did look beautiful last night.”

“Oh Steve.” She said as she leaned her forehead against his. “Well like before, we’ll get through this together.”

"I know we will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be short.
> 
> I really love small character scenes like this, so I wanted to get one in.
> 
> The action is coming soon.
> 
> One more chapter stateside and then we're off to meet the 107th.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


	13. It Was Just a Regular Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna recalls a rather unpleasant time in her life.

* * *

As predicted, after three more shows, Captain America and The American Maide got the green light for a nationwide tour.

Night after night, city after city. New York, Chicago, Buffalo, Los Angeles, Seattle, all over the map.

The two would don their spangled outfits and sing and dance to promote War Bonds and the Red Cross.

It was chaos. They were jumping all over the place with barely a second to rest.  
Steve and Deanna constantly had jetlag they suspected they’d have felt even worse if they were still their old sick selves.

Sometimes they would be in different cities, this was not one of those days.

They had just finished performing a giant a double feature show tonight at some grand theater in Washington DC, and they barely had time to catch their breaths before were already being spirited away the next day.

They were heading to Italy for a special USO showing for the soldiers stationed there. They didn’t normally go overseas but the government deemed it appropriate for a much-needed morale boost after a bitter lost battle.

Deanna just wanted some sleep but kept her mouth shut. She was silent from the moment she got in the car, stepped out onto the air field and boarded the plane.

She sat in her seat and attempted to sleep. It was no use, she was too uncomfortable. She rested her gaze on the floor when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” Steve asked.

Deanna sighed.

“Helen left back for New York. She isn’t doing so good.”

“Oh no. I hope she gets better soon.”

“ Thank you but also…also. I guess…I’ve been thinking about Kevin a lot actually.”

“Your brother?”

“Yeah. I was talking with Helen the other day. She’d been holding up so well but…”

Tears began to well in her eyes and she pinched the webbed part of the thumb in an effort to stop it as she recalled the conversation.

* * *

Alright great job you two! Get changed and get some sleep We’re heading overseas first thing in the morning.” Millie said with a sickeningly sweet tone.

Deanna nodded and headed back to her dressing room. She saw Helen waiting for her.

“Hey Helen! Oh god, what a night. They really spared no expense for this one.” Deanna said a little too high off her latest performance.

“Um hm.” Helen replied quietly as she went to help Deanna out of her corset.

“Yeah, I guess the nation’s capital truly gets the best of the best.” Deanna replied now with some concern.

She felt Helen nod. Something was off.

“Helen are you alright.”

“I guess it’s just…I miss Kevin. Right now, all I want is to be home with him together, just doing normal married things. It just isn’t fair. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen him and none of us have any idea when he’s coming home or if he even will.”

“What made you feel like this now? You’ve been holding up so well.”

“On the outside yes, but a lot of little things have been eating away me little by little. Passing by bridal shops, seeing couples in parks with baby carriages, it’s been so hard, but I think what really did me in was…last night. I was in the lobby of the hotel and I saw a woman crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her son had been drafted. He had just graduated from high school. His life was just upended just like that. And I don’t know It brought me right back to the night we found out.”

Deanna remembered that night all too well.

* * *

She had gotten the call one night in March of 1942. It was just an ordinary day of work, she had been boiling a kettle for some tea when the phone rang.

“Deanna Bradford speaking.”

“Deanna It’s your mother. I understand that we don’t usually talk anymore, but this is serious. I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t.” Ellie said.

Deanna sighed she really did not want to deal with her mother now but she had called so it must have been of the utmost importance.

“Alright What’s going on.”

“It’s your brother. His number was called.”

Deanna felt as though the floor had been torn out from under her. Goosebumps covered her body and she could feel the blood draining from her face and her heart began to race so fast and skipped a few beats, that she feared she may have a heart attack right then and there.

Her worst nightmare had come true.

“Deanna are you still there?” Ellie asked her daughter.

“Yes. Oh my god.”

“I know, I can’t believe this is happening. I know it’s a lot to ask but do you think you could come home just for tonight? If not for me for your brother?”

“I’m already on my way.”

She and her mother had come to an understanding that night. Her dreams of college and writing and Ellie’s wishes for marriage and grandchildren were irrelevant now. All that mattered was that they were going to be together as a family for what could be the last time.

Deanna quickly turned off the stove grabbed her jacket and bolted for the old house.

She rang the doorbell and a stone-faced Kevin answered the door.

“Kevin!” She practically screamed as she collided with her big brother and hugged him as hard as she could.

She didn’t want to let go. She wished she could keep him safe away from this war. But she was powerless.

“Sis. Dear god. Thank you for coming. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m the one who should be asking you that! I can’t even fully grasp what's going on .”

“I know it doesn’t feel real. Like I’m stuck in a bad dream.”

“You have no idea how much I wish that was the case.” Said a sad voice from behind them.

“Helen. I’m so sorry.” Deanna said.

She made her way up to the blonde woman and took her hand.

“I know this must a difficult time for you. I know it is for me. Just know that I’m here if you need me for anything.” Deanna finished.

“Thank you. Come on we should go in your mother made dinner. A lot actually.” said Helen.

“Not a surprise It’s her way of coping. She cooks during rough times, like after dad died or when we almost lost the house after losing her job.” Said Kevin.

Deanna giggled humorlessly. “I remember that. We were lucky You were able to find work at that autoshop.” She said.

"Yeah I suppose we were." Kevin said, looking down at his feet.

"We probably shouldn't keep your mother waiting any longer." said Helen somberly.

The three of them headed inside the house. They made their way to the dining room where they all hugged a flustered Ellie. It was clear she had been crying and none of them could blame her.

The four of them sat down and tried to eat, but the gravity of the situation made it all such a heavy affair and it quickly devolved into a circle of crying before they even got to dessert.

* * *

It was one of the worst nights of her life and Deanna knew it must have been the same for Helen.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know this was bothering you.”

“You’re not a mind reader Dee. But I can tell that this isn’t going to be going away anytime soon.

"Does that mean?"

"Yes, I asked Millie for a leave, so I’m heading back to New York for a little while.

Deanna felt a little hurt. She didn’t want to be separated from Helen again. Even though she hated the shows it was nice having just a little bit of her old life anchoring her in this tumultuous time, in the form of Helen. It was bad enough being away from Mavis. They were still exchanging letters and some calls as well, but it wasn’t the same. She didn’t want that for her and Helen as well. However she knew Helen was right, and that she had to take care of herself. After all she was the one who dragged Helen into this circus because of her crazy dreams.

So swallowing all her hurt and urge to cry she answered. “Of course, Helen. You take care of yourself. Just be sure to write.”

* * *

“Yeah, so that’s about the long and short of it.”

Steve cupped her cheek, moved his face just few inches away from her own and smiled at her. Deanna had a feeling that she knew where this was headed.

“ before you open your mouth, let me guess, this is your attempt at cheering me up by telling me that I’ve still got you?”

“Pretty much. Is it working or am I still just a bloody idiot?”

Bloody. British slang, no doubt picked up from Peggy. She knew it was stupid. Deanna didn't even hate the woman, in fact after their conversation at Lehigh she had taken a liking to the agent. But she also knew that Steve had feelings for her as well and the reminder of that stung.

However, Deanna was an adult and she was going to act like one. She had already let her petty envy damage their relationship before. She wasn’t going to let it ruin this moment too. So, taking in a few breaths she told herself that there were more problems in her life than any potential romantic feelings Steve had for a woman he hadn't talked about or seen in months. More than anything Deanna was just happy he was here with her.

“Maybe you are still an idiot, but you’re my idiot, and I love you.” she said.

“Well I love you too. Dee.”

“I thought told you not to call me that!” Deanna said amused, truth be told she really couldn’t have cared less he used her nickname.

“I know. Guess I just wanted to get a rise out of you, take your mind off things. Besides you did just call me an idiot.”

Deanna just smiled.

Soon enough her exhaustion got the better of her and sleep finally came to the tired woman. She had certainly earned a little rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was quite a gut punch. I love me some angst. 
> 
> I'm sorry. 
> 
> The chapter title came from the fact that days that life changing events (both negative and positive) occur on, usually just start as completely normal days, just as it did for Deanna when she found out Kevin was drafted.
> 
> I wanted to bring back Deanna's family, After all it's been 12 chapters since we last saw her mother. But I wanted to do it in a non contrived way. I also wanted to show Kevin a bit more, (make him more real and less ghost), before we finally see him in the present, so flashback time.
> 
> In regards to what's going on with Helen, she suffers from Episodic Major Depression. This is based off both my own and the lessons from my psychology classes. Unfortunatly I had no real way of getting into the story proper (as mental illness was very taboo back then) so I figured this would be the proper place to tell you. 
> 
> I promise that the the action is coming soon. I know this may seem a little stagnant, and while I think it was a necessary explanation for why Helen won't be in Italy and provide some more backstory for Deanna, I know it might not be the most exciting and to make up for it I'm working hard on an extra long 2 part chapter for next time with lots of canon bits and action.
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed.


	14. Up To The Test Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a bombshell, Steve and Deanna decide it's time to step up.

**Italy November 1943-Five Miles from the Front**

“Now How many of you are ready to help me sock old Adolf on the Jaw?” Steve asked the thoroughly uninterested crowd of soldiers.

He looked over to Deanna as she shrugged her shoulders. It was clear that she was extremely uncomfortable as the men focused most of their attention on her eyeing her body like it was a juicy steak. Poor girl, he saw how the men treated her Lehigh and this couldn’t be much better.

“OK.” Steve said a little worried “I need a volunteer.”

“I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?” a random soldier in the crowd called out.

“Draft?” Deanna muttered under her breath.

The soldiers started laughing.

“Screw this, get off the stage Captain!" One guy exclaimed.

"But your damn fine lady friend can stay!” Another man yelled.

“Bring back the rest of the girls too!” Yet another soldier screamed.

The crowd yelled in agreement.

“I think they only know the one song, but uh I’ll see what I can do.” Steve said annoyed and flustered.

“You do that sweetheart!” Another guy yelled.

“Nice boots Tinkerbell!”

It was Hodge. Clearly the time apart hadn’t erased any of the animosity between the two. But Steve was a good man. He would not escalate anything.

The men started laughing. Steve sighed. He turned his head and he saw that Deanna had made a quick escape back stage.

“Come on guys we’re all the same team here.

“Hey Captain! Sign this!” An angry Soldier yelled as he mooned him.

A few others threw fruit at him. Thankfully he was able to dodge it with his shield, but enough was enough.

 _Alright, that’s it._ He thought before following Deanna’s cue and heading back stage.

“YEAH BRING BACK THE GIRLS!” he heard the crowd yell as the dancing ladies headed back onto stage to pacify the soldiers.

A stagehand came up to him and patted him on the back.

“Don’t worry pal. They’ll warm up to you, don’t worry.”

Steve didn’t really believe him. He just put on a coat and pair of fatigue pants, grabbed his sketch book and sat curled up with Deanna in the back as it began to pour cats and dogs.

She was still sporting her costume under her coat, though had removed the skirt having traded it for a pair of uniform pants and boots.

"You alright?" Steve asked.

“Fucking pigs they all are.” Deanna grumbled.

“I know Baby, I know." He said before kissing her cheek in a attempt to comfort her. "Holy mother of god, the way those dickwads looked at you made me want to strangle each one. Hodge especially.”

“Well old habits die hard. I guess he forgot who helped him up the rope tower.” She pouted.

“Or who punched him when he eavesdropped on our private conversation and called you the D word.”

“Just say dame. Being called that doesn’t even bother me anymore.”

“Really? Why?” Steve asked. He was curious, the word was such a trigger for her just a few months ago.

“I’ve been hearing people call me that for months. Men have been propositioning me all over the country and honestly, it’s the least offensive thing they’ve called me. Am I really nothing more than a body to them? And the other girls too. Anne, Lucy, Joanie, all of them. They’re all such amazing ladies with lives and desires and interests, and they work so hard for this, but you heard them, all they see are pretty ladies that they can have fantasies about doing all sorts of unspeakable things to. It makes me so frustrated.”

“You can say that again.” A familiar voice rang.

“Peggy, hi. How are you?” Deanna said.

“Hi. I’m doing alright. Not great though.” The agent responded.

“If it makes you feel any better, neither are we.” Deanna said.

Peggy shrugged.

“What are you doin’ here?” Steve asked.

“Officially I’m not here at all. That was quite a performance.” Peggy said.

“Yeah, had to improvise a little bit. Crowds we’re used to are usually more…Twelve.” Steve said .

“I understand you’re “America’s New Hope?”" Peggy asked.

“Bond sales and Red Cross enrollment take a 10% bump in every state we visit.” He said crestfallen.

“That’s Senator Brandt I hear?” The Englishwoman asked.

“At least he’s got us doin’ this. Phillips would’ve had us stuck in a lab.” he said.

“At this point, I think I would have preferred the lab.” Deanna chimed in.

“And these are your only two options? Lab rats or dancing monkeys? You two were meant for more than this. Deanna you know this I’ve told you that.” Peggy said. She truly believed that her friends were capable of so much. She saw so much of herself in Deanna and even in Steve. They should have been by her side this whole time and they didn’t deserve to be stuck in this limbo.

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember.” Deanna responded a bit defeated.

Steve sighed as he looked off into the rain. Deanna rubbed his back a bit, words weren’t really needed. Peggy didn’t seem to agree though as her voice broke through the moment with one word.

“What?”

“You know for the longest time I dreamed about, comin’ overseas and being on the front lines, serving my country. I finally got everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.”

“Oh Steve.” Deanna said, as she rubbed his back.

The trio’s attention was caught by the sound of a soldier being unloaded from an ambulance.

“They look like they’ve been through hell.” Steve mused.

“These men more than most.” Peggy said.

“What? How? What happened?” Deanna asked.

“Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano. Two hundred men up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the 107th” Peggy clarified.

‘107th, 107th?’ Deanna thought. It sounded so familiar. Then the lightbulb went off in her head.

* * *

“So what’s your unit Kev?” Deanna asked her brother.

He had come back from basic and was being shipped off in the morning.

“According to my orders I'm in the 107th infantry.

“Well I hope they figure out they just hit the amazing person jackpot.”

“Personally, I don’t give a damn if they’re a bunch of assholes, I just hope I don’t die.”

Deanna choked up a bit, that was a real possibility.

“Me too.”

* * *

Peggy’s voice dragged her back to the present.

“The rest were killed or captured.”

Deanna was starting to panic. She wasn’t alone in it.

"The 107th?” Steve asked suddenly completely alert.

"Oh Fuck! No!” Deanna cried.

“Steve, Deanna what’s going on?”

Steve bolted up and Deanna and Peggy quickly followed and began to run to the command tent.

“COME ON!” he yelled.

When they reached their destination Steve took not time getting to the point.

"Colonel Phillips." 

"Well isn't it the Star Spangled Man With a Plan. What is your plan today."

"I need the casualty list from Azzono."

"You don't get to give me orders, Son."

"I just need one name Sgt. James Barnes from the 107th."

I'm sorry sir but it's actually two names." said Deanna timidly. She remembered the last time she voiced her grievances to the Colonel. She did not want to piss him off again, but she had to know. "Staff Sgt. Kevin Bradford. Please Sir, he's my brother." 

The Colonel locked eyes with Deanna and for a just a split second she could see a hint of empathy, but before he gave an answer he switched back to his hardass persona and pointed at Peggy.

"You and I are going to a conversation later that you won't enjoy." 

"Please tell me if they're alive Sir, B-A-R..." Steve tried to say before getting cut off.

"I can spell." The Colonel said annoyed, before softening just a bit. "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I care to count, but the names do sound familiar, both of them, I'm sorry." 

Deanna felt a wave of dizziness come over her, and thought she might vomit. This was worse than when Kevin was drafted. At least then there was chance he would come home now that chance was...gone? Or was it, Peggy did say they may have been captured, maybe he was still out there, and Bucky too. They may have only met once but He meant everything to Steve. They had to do something.

Clearly Steve was thinking the same thing, since the next thing out of his mouth was,

"What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?"

"Yeah it's called winning the war." The colonel responded a little too indifferently.

"But if you know here they are, why not at least.."

"They're thirty miles behind the lines, through some of most fortified territory in Europe. we'd lose more men than we'd save, but I wouldn't expect either of you to understand that seeing as though you're a couple of chorus girls."

"I think I understand just fine." Steve said venomously as he stared at the map of the front.

"And what about you Bradford?"

"Yes Sir." she said beyond pissed.

"I'm truly sorry about your friend and your brother, but you cannot be coming in here uninvited and questioning my judgement. Now if I read the posters correctly you two have someplace to be in 30 minutes."

"Yes sir we do." Steve answered as he and Deanna vacated the tent.

"If you have something to say right now's a perfect time to keep it you yourself" Phillips said to a flustered Peggy as she too left the area. She had a feeling she knew what the pair were planning.

* * *

"What do you plan to do Walk to Austria?" Peggy yelled at her friends as they left for 

"If that's what it takes." Steve responded without any hesitation.

"You're damn right." Deanna agreed. "Steve, hand me my whip and my gun." 

He quickly obeyed as Peggy tried to convince them otherwise, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

“You heard the Colonel, Your friend and your brother, they’re almost certainly dead.”

“Don’t you fucking say that. You’re the one who said “or captured.” And I should know, I’m the one with the enhanced memory.” Deanna spat. She immediately regretted using that harsh of a tone, but it needed to be said.

“She’s right Peggy, you don’t what happened to them.” Said Steve.

“Even so he’s devising a strategy, if he detects…”

“BY THE TIME HE’S DONE THAT IT COULD BE TOO LATE!” Steve yelled finally losing his patience.

He grabbed his shield and jumped into a jeep with Deanna tagging behind him.

Deanna turned around and Peggy had followed them once again.

“Peggy, you have to…” Deanna paused and sighed. “You once told me about what happened to your brother, well let me make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to mine.”

Deanna knew how to strike a nerve. It was true, if she had the power to, Peggy would have done anything to have save Michael, and she knew Deanna must have been feeling the exact same way, and Steve too in regards to his friend, but this was suicide.

“Deanna, I know you and Steve…”

“You told us you thought we were meant for more than this. Did you mean that?” Steve asked.

That struck another nerve.

“Every word.” She said.

“Then you gotta let us go.” He said.

She ran around to the front of the car.

“I can do more than that.”

* * *

“Should be able to drop you ‘round the doorstep.” Said The voice of Howard Stark as it rang through the cabin of the aircraft he was piloting. Steve and Deanna had no idea how Peggy had managed to wrangle him into this crazy plan of theirs but they weren’t about to question their good fortune.

“Just get us as close as you can.” Steve yelled back.

“But not so far that that we’re hiking for hours either.” Deanna added.

“You got it Dollface.” Howard said flirtatiously.

“Stark. There’s a time and place, and this sure as hell ain’t it.” Deanna said annoyed and slightly confused. She knew he was a serial skirt chaser, but how could he possibly be thinking about that at a time like this?

“Can’t say I agree. You never know when you’ll get another chance.” Howard retorted.

“And I think you’d rather never know what it’s like to get a shiner from super soldier.” Deanna threatened.

“Deanna enough.” Peggy cut in. “Stark is a womanizing prat, who should know when to leave well enough alone, but he’s also the best civilian pilot I’ve ever seen, He’s mad enough to brave this air space. We’re lucky to have him.

“Fine. But seriously, time and place, Stark. Time and place. And leave Peggy alone too. She deserves better.” Deanna grumbled.

Steve rolled his eyes at the whole exchange. But Deanna was right, this was not the time or place. He had to focus on saving those men, finding Bucky and Kevin, and making sure no one died in the process.

“You know you’re gonna be in a lotta trouble when you land.” Steve said.

“And you two won’t?” Peggy asked.

“You know that if someone tells us to get out, we can simply use this.” Deanna said pointing to her gun.

“They will undoubtedly use their own.” Peggy retorted.

“Then let’s hope it’s for something.” Steve said tapping on his shield.

“Alright last thing, take these.” Said Peggy handing them two black plastic rectangles with antennas.

“What are these things?” Deanna asked.

“Your transponders. When you complete your mission, activate them and the signal will lead us straight to you.” Peggy informed them.

“Got it.” said Deanna.

“You sure these things work?” Steve asked, wanting to be a thorough as possible.

“Been tested more than you and Dollface there.” Howard said testing his luck.

"HOWARD I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL... "Deanna's rant was abruptly interrupted by the plane getting bombarded by enemy fire.

The super solders made a beeline for the hatch.

“GET BACK HERE WE’RE TAKING YOU ALL THE WAY IN.” Peggy screamed trying to get her friends to think sense.

“NO WAY WE RISK THAT!” Deanna barked. "YOU'LL GET TORN TO SHREDS!"

“AS SOON AS WE’RE CLEAR YOU TURN THIS THING AROUND AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.” Steve agreed.

“YOU CAN’T GIVE ME ORDERS. Peggy said, as if that would have changed their minds.

“THE HELL I CAN’T! I’M A CAPTAIN!” And with Steve jumped out of the plane.

Okay _technically I’m not one, but I sure as shit am not leaving him behind!_ Deanna thought, before she too tumbled out of the aircraft.

Peggy watched with terror as her friends jumped to what could be their possible deaths. But she had faith in them and prayed for the best as Stark flew the two of them back to safety.

“Don’t let me down you two.” She whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a chapter there.
> 
> I told you we'd be getting back to plot soon.
> 
> I tried to add as much original movie dialogue as I could while also realistically altering it to fit the fact that there is another character there. 
> 
> Such as Phillips's response to Steve when the latter found bout about Bucky. Here he's a just a tad softer since he's also dealing with a woman and someone's brother. I could imagine him being a bit more sensitive when it comes to someone's immediate family rather than just a friend, no offence to Bucky.
> 
> I also cut the Fondue line. I'm sorry but I always found it to be stupid in the movie and it's payoff was one of the worst scenes in the movie using some of the worst tropes in existence, misunderstanding and jealousy, so I'm not doing it. Also here Steve has a girlfriend at this point. She's told him things.
> 
> In regards to Peggy and Deanna's relationship, while in previous chapters Deanna does get somewhat jealous when thinking about Steve's possible feelings for Peggy, (and yes, by word of god, he does have feelings for her, and she for him just as they did in canon. This will come into play later, I've been toying with the idea of an OT3 later on, and I will change the tags if I do so, but I make no promises, it's all very rough and brainstormy) However, Peggy hasn't actually done anything to Deanna, and has in fact done her best to make Deanna feel like she has value as a soldier. As such Deanna sees no need to be rude to someone who's actually encouraged and believed in her. While she does have that fear in the back of her head, the good outweighs the bad and is willing to be friends.
> 
> To explain better, I wanted to follow what Michael Schur did with Eleanor and Simone, in last season of The Good Place. Yes they both like the same man, but love triangles are stupid and sexist and overused. They have more in common than they don't so as far as I'm concerned there's no reason that Peggy and Deanna shouldn't be friends, even if Deanna can get a bit insecure. 
> 
> Pt. 2 coming soon. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.


	15. Up To The Test Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventure continues as our Daring Duo stage a jailbreak.

The pair landed in a thick wood. After walking for about half a mile, they found their way to the so-called door step of the facility. Deanna remembered that Peggy had described it as some kind of factory. Their attention was caught by the sound of a line of trucks making their way back in.

“So, what’s the plan?” Deanna asked.

“When that last one passes be ready to jump, it’s our ride.” Steve said.

“Got it.”

“Three two one. Now!”

The two made a break for it and hopped into the back carriage of the truck. Turns out they weren’t alone. Inside were two Hydra goons wearing the weirdest armor they had ever seen. They wore black leather suits and their faces were completely covered in hard black masks and their eyes holes covered by tinted glass, they looked inhuman, almost like an evil droid from a science fiction serial.

“Fellas.” Steve said, caught a bit off guard.

“Oh boy.” Deanna sighed.

The two goons moved to attack them, but they really weren’t a match for the super soldiers. Steve and Deanna easily got the upper hand as he hit one with his shield while she kicked the other one down and began choking him with her whip. Within second they were able to throw the HYDRA minions out onto the road as the pair of soldiers made their way into the facility.

When the truck backed up into its destination, another HYDRA goon stuck his head into the carriage, only to be hit in the face hard by Steve’s shield, launching backwards, like he was he was nothing.

Deanna side eyed him, “Subtle.” She said sarcastically. “But effective.”

He motioned for her to follow him and they two made their way out into a large labyrinth like lot of tanks. It was tense. They had to navigate through unknown territory where they could get caught at any moment all while having to be hasty in order to get in and out as fast as possible.

As Deanna began to sweat, she became acutely aware of the corset she was still wearing, previously forgotten while high on adrenaline. It was constricting and certainly not her first choice of what to wear during a covert off the books rescue operation. But she would have to put up with it, she didn’t exactly have time to go change.

When they go to a tank next to a building Steve jumped on top of it and onto the roof a nearby building. He motioned for Deanna to follow him.

‘This is a terrible idea’ she thought, ‘They’ll see us.’ But seeing as they had no other option, she reluctantly followed.

As they raced across the roof her fears were vindicated, when she felt the presence of a body trailing behind her. She turned around and these was a another one of those robot looking minions only now she got a better look at him. He was big, tall heavily armed and there were two cannon like devices where his hands should have been.

Deanna knew she only had a second to react and didn’t have time to reach for her gun. Without even thinking she lunged and fell right on top of him, knocking him off his feet. She jumped up, grabbed her whip and wrapped it around the minion’s neck, cutting of his air supply until he passed out. She then grabbed a hold of his unconscious body, before throwing him off the roof.

“Let’s go!” Steve whispered loudly, before they ran on toward the building.

Both their hearts were beating hard as they entered the facility proper. They had almost botched the mission. What if something else bad happened.

‘Get ahold of yourself Dee, this is no place to be having a breakdown. Keep going, you don’t stop until Kevin, Bucky and everyone else is free.'

They ran their way through the facility for a while. It felt like an eternity but luck had mostly been on their side and they slid through closing doors and trailed behind guards.

They had made it pretty deep in when they arrived at a locked door. They looked for any alternate ways of entry, such as a vent or service door but it was their luck had once again run out.

“Well Shit. There’s no other way in.” Steve said.

“Hm, I think we could bust the door down. We’re strong enough.” Deanna said

“Probably. But we also don’t a repeat of the roof.” 

You’re right that’ll draw way too much attention.”

Steve took one last look through the glass of the door, and smirk appeared on his face.

“Looks like you have an idea.” Deanna mussed.

He nodded. Steve knocked on the door, and another goon moved to open it. The moment he did, Steve slammed his head in the door jamb, before Deanna’s right hook slammed into his nose knocking him out.

As they made their way through, it became why the door was locked. It had to be where they made their explosives and other weapons. They quickly ran through the room, turning corners, and narrowly avoiding eyes. They only stopped when the light of a glowing blue object caught their attention. It looked it was the energy source of some kind of weapon core, but whatever powering it was unconventional to say the least. It looked otherworldly.

 _Good golly. Is Schmidt some kind of alien?_ She thought.

Beside the core were several smaller rectangular batteries with one corner also glowing that extraterrestrial blue. Steve quickly pocketed one before moving on in their journey.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they found the facility’s prison. They quickly made their way in snuck up on the guard, knocked him out and stole his keys. This caught the attention of the prisoners below, who were being held in round cage like cells.

“Who are you two supposed to be? A bulky colored soldier asked.

“I’m Captain America.” Steve answered.

“The American Maide.” Deanna followed.

“I uh beg your pardon?” A British soldier asked.

* * *

The last of the prisoners shuffled out of their cells.

“What, are we takin’ everybody?” A burly, mustachioed, bowler hat wearing soldier asked in regards to a Japanese soldier.

“I’m from Fresno, Ace.” The Japanese Soldier said defending himself as she showed off his dog tags.

Deanna rolled her eyes. She wasn't a fan of her country's attitude towards the Japanese, she supposed she understood why they thought that way, but it didn't make their actions right. Besides why would HYDRA have jailed one of their supposed allies?

“Boys this is not the time! I just need to know, has anyone seen one Staff Sergeant Kevin Bradford?” Deanna asked.

“That’s me!” Kevin said raising his hand as he made his way through the crowd “But uh, what do you need me for and how do you know my na… Deanna?”

“Oh My God! Kevin!” Deanna cried as she rushed up to hug her brother. “I thought we might have lost you.”

“Thank you for finding us. I love you so much.”

“I love you too Kev.” 

She felt her brother kiss her cheek as tears streamed down their faces. She didn’t want to let go, but time was of the essence, so she reluctantly released her grip on her older brother.

“I need to ask, what the hell are you doing here? And why are you so big? Who’s that friend of yours'? And are you wearing a corset?” Kevin asked his sister.

“Yes, I am wearing a corset and by golly I wish I wasn’t but in regards to everything else, it’s a very long story. I promise I’ll tell you everything, but right now, my only goal is getting you, and the rest of these men, out of here.” Deanna replied directly.

“Fair enough.” Said Kevin. 

“So, uh, we need to get a move on.” Deanna said firmly.

“Sounds like a plan, Sis.”

“Okay. Follow me."

The siblings made their way through the crowd and up to Steve. Deanna looked at his face and noticed that he was looking a little too stoic. Something in her gut was telling her that something was wrong.

"Uh Steve what are you doing? We gotta get goin’. Now.” Deanna said, hoping her gut was wrong.

“We can't. Not yet.” Steve replied.

“Not yet? What do you mean not yet?” She practically screamed.

“Bucky’s not here, they took him to the isolation ward. I have to find him and anyone else there.” He said.

Her heart sank. She was right something was wrong. She knew she couldn't stop Steve from doing this. She knew how much Bucky meant to him.

“Okay, but you’re not going alone.” Deanna declared.

Steve didn’t bother arguing with her, it was clear her mind was made up.

Kevin on the other hand was a tad more reluctant.

“Sis, you sure that’s a good idea? We just found each other again and I can’t lose you. I think you should come with us you’ll have more back up that way” Kevin begged.

"And I do Steve has no back up whatsoever. And Bucky is my friend too, he saved me, I owe it to him return the favor."

"Dee Please, I can't..."

She cut him off.

“Kevin, I know you’re probably losing your marbles over this right now, but please just this once have a little faith in me. I can do this.” Deanna said

“Deanna are you…” Kevin tried to plead before Deanna cut him off once again.

“Kevin look me in the eye.” Her brother acquiesced and met her gaze.

“I need you to trust me. I can do this.”

Kevin sighed

“Okay, just please be careful.” He said reluctantly.

“I will be, I swear.”

Kevin gave his sister one last hug, before she headed to Steve’s side as the young man began to give instructions to the rest of the soldiers.

“Alright, listen up this is important. Tree-line is Northwest, eighty yards past the gate. Get out fast and give ‘em hell. We’ll meet you guys in the clearing with anyone else we find.”

“Wait! You two know what you’re doin” The Colored Soldier asked

“Yeah I’ve knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times.” Steve answered.

“And I did the same to Hirohito. Well I would knee him in the groin but same difference.” Deanna added, before the pair ran off.

* * *

Kevin felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he and the other freed members of the 107th began the dramatic storm of the base.

“MOVE OUT!” He heard over and over.

He continually punched out his former jailers before they could get a jump on him.

Once he exited the building, Kevin found himself rounded off with the soldier from Fresno, Mortia, and his monolingual French buddy, Dernier.

“My sister’s friend said that way!” Kevin yelled as he pointed northwest. “Any idea how we’re gonna get there through this?”

Gunshots were coming from every direction, both friendly and hostile fire. It wasn’t exactly going to be a walk in the park.

“Over there.” Mortia, pointed to an injured mook, carrying a weapon.

The three men quickly surrounded him, snapped his neck and snatched his weapon before Dernier ultimately took a hold of it

The weapon looked like nothing any of them had seen before. It was far more cumbersome than an average rifle and glowed an eerie electric bluish glow.

“Hey you know how to use that thing?” Morita asked.

Dernier fired off a round, but instead of bullets, a beam of energy, colored that same electric blue. was discharged, destroying the bricks of the wall it hit.

All Dernier could do was give Morita and Kevin a dumbfounded look.

“Okay.” Morita responded nonchalantly.

“So that happened.” Kevin agreed.

On the other side of the field some of the men had commandeered a tank, equipped with a cannon with similar capabilities to the gun they had stolen.

“Let me guess, Dugan?” Kevin asked amused, or about as amused one could be in a situation like this.

“Qui d’autre strait asset stupide?” Dernier replied.

Not knowing French, Kevin just nodded. He figured he was calling the bulky, bowler hat wearing soldier, stupid and Kevin couldn’t say he disagreed.

“Think I saw Jones and Falsworth jump in as well.” Morita added. “Well either way I think we have our out. Time to run”

Kevin took one last look at the factory; Deanna and her friend still hadn’t come out yet. He murmured a silent prayer in the hopes it would protect them, that they would be okay. He could not lose his sister. And with that he ran off with his compatriots.

* * *

Alarms blared throughout the whole factory as Steve and Deanna took on goon after goon, demolishing them as if they were tissue paper. The more she let go the easier it became. It really dawned on her how strong she had become. It was almost too easy.

They quickly made their way across the factory, when they found themselves in a corridor. Coming out from a room on the left was short round looking man wearing a hat. He was holding a coat and briefcase. He stared right at them but decided to simply carry on his way. Steve thought about chasing him but ultimately decided against it when he heard labored breathing coming from the room he vacated. Steve ran in, while Deanna stayed by the door to keep watch.

Steve heard an even louder groaning sound and he quickly made his was towards the source.

“Sergeant three, two, five, five, seven.”

“Bucky!? Oh my god.”

Steve got a closer look. His best friend laid there, strapped to a table. It was clear that something awful had been done to him, probably some kind of experimentation, or at the very least was being tortured for information. Steve quickly freed him from the restraints as the sergeant gave him an odd look.

“What the?” Bucky asked deliriously.

"It's me, It's Steve."

"Steve?" Bucky asked confused, but he took a better look at the mans' face and it was in fact his friend. "Steve!"

Steve got his friend to his feet before hugging him close.

“I thought you were dead.” Steve cried.

“I thought you were smaller.” Bucky mused. The man had his best friend’s face and voice, but the was so big, bigger than him. It was like a dream but the pain he was in told him otherwise.

There was a blast from outside.

Steve quickly looked at a map of what had to be other bases across Europe and the schematics of some kind of experimental aircraft, before realizing they had to leave.

“Come on." 

Steve quickly pulled him out of the room, meeting Deanna at the door.

"Wait who's the dame?" Bucky asked spotting her.

"Not a dame darling." Deanna said.

"Oh, I uh brought a friend. You remember Deanna Bradford, right?” Steve said.

“Yeah, the girl from the alley with the sailor mouth. She looks bigger too.”

“Yeah about that...” Deanna said, but she couldn’t finish her sentence before Bucky cut her off.

“And uh are you Kevin’s sister by any chance?”

“That I am, but that's not really important right now, are you okay, what happened?”

“I’m fine.” Bucky said, unwilling to answer any further. “What happened to you two?”

“We joined the army.” Steve answered.

Bucky as it turned out was quite curious about their new condition.

“Did it hurt.” He asked

“A little.” Steve answered.

“A little?” Deanna chuckled. “More like the worst pain we ever felt in our lives.” She mumbled under her breath.

“Is it permanent?” Bucky inquired.

“So far.” Steve answered tersely.

The trio ran back though the factory as fast as they could, but with Bucky being as weak as he was it took them far longer to reach the other end. And to make matters worse the factory started exploding.

One by one the machines below them burst into flames. It must have been some kind of self-destruct function in order to keep HYDRA technology from being stolen should the factory ever get raided.

The floor below them blazed looking more and more like hell itself. They would have to get out of there quickly, otherwise they’d be burned alive or buried in rubble.

They looked up, there was a bridge on the other side that lead right to the exit.

“Target acquired.” Deanna noted.

The three of them began running up the flights of stairs to get to the exit, however there was someone waiting for them when they made it up to the edge of the bridge.

“Captain America! How exciting! I am great fan of your films. And I see you brought the lovely American Maide. It truly is my lucky day!”

It was Schmidt, it had to be. Behind him was that round man they saw earlier.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO OUR FRIEND?!” Deanna screamed as she pointed towards Bucky.

Schmidt ignored her. He seemed to be focused on Steve. Deanna had a feeling she knew exactly how Schmidt thought of her.

Steve, agitated, began walking across the bridge.

“So, Doctor Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, and squandered on the girl, bit still, impressive.”

Enraged, Steve punched Schmidt right in the eye, leaving the skin around his eye socket looking an angry shade of red.

“You got no idea.” Steve hissed.

“Haven’t I?” Schmidt retorted before returning the punch.

Luckily, Steve was able to block the blow with his shield, but the German scientist was strong enough to have left a fist shaped dent in the solid metal.

Panicked, Steve reached for his gun, only to be met by another fist, this time hitting him square in the face.

The gun was lost, falling into the fire below, However Deanna still had hers, and aiming it away from Steve, she managed to shoot Schmidt in the leg. Unfortunately that was the last of her ammo, having used the rest of it to get to the isolation ward.

Schmidt yelped in pain, though far less than a normal person would had they suffered the same injury, however this distracted him long enough for Steve to kick him over the bridge.

This angered Schmidt, and the round man retracted the bridge separating them.

“NO MATTER WHAT LIES ERSKINE TOLD YOU, YOU SEE I WAS HIS GREATEST SUCCESS!” Schmidt yelled as he got back to his feet.

He then grabbed the skin around his neck and began peeling it off, revealing it to be a mask.

His true face was a grotesque figure, with blood red skin, sunken eyes and a missing nose. He looked like an ungodly amalgamation of a skull and shrunken head.

It was disgusting and Deanna honestly didn't know how and why she wasn't vomiting at the sight of it.

“You don’t have one of those do you?” Bucky asked.

Steve shook his head.

“You are deluded, the both of you. You girl, believing yourself worthy of this blessing, when it was nothing but a waste on you. And Captain, you pretend to be a simple soldier, when in reality, you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind! And unlike you, I embrace it proudly, without fear!”

“Then how come you’re running?” Steve demanded.

He got no answer though, as Schmidt and the round man entered an elevator.

There was another explosion. They had to get out of there quickly and the bridge was no longer an option.

Steve looked up and saw a door with a red emergency light over it, on the other side, and a support beam they could cross.

“Come on. Let’s go. Up!” Steve ordered.

Deanna quickly grabbed some chain from the bridge before following after them on the stairs.

They made it to the top, and they could already feel the beam shaking.

“There’s no way we all make it across if we do it one at a time, but it can’t support all three of our weights.” Deanna said.

“Any ideas on how to fix that?” Bucky asked.

“Yes. Bucky, you’re gonna go with Deanna.” Steve said.

“What?” Bucky asked perplexed.

“No arguing. We can’t afford to waste any time; besides I have some chain I grabbed from the bridge and I can use it to latch the beam to the ceiling, it won’t keep it from falling, but it’ll buy us some time. You ready?” Deanna said.

“No, but it’s not like I got any other choice.” Bucky said with brutal honesty.

“Fair enough, but let’s go. Now.”

She grabbed Bucky by his hand, and the two began making the way across. The beam was shaking like mad from the explosions and the rising heat from the fires beneath them made them extremely sweaty. So much so that Bucky was sure she would slip off as Deanna latched the beam to the ceiling. By some miracle, she didn't. As they made their way to the end of the beam it detached completely. It would have fallen with the two of them on it if it wasn’t for those precious seconds of dangling the chain bought them which allowed them to leap over the railing, before the weight was too much for the chain and the beam fell into the inferno.

Unfortunately, Steve was still standing on the other side, now trapped.

“No! Steve! What are we gonna do?” Deanna cried.

“Just get Bucky out of here and find your brother.” Steve ordered.

“No, there’s gotta be a rope or something!” Bucky yelled.

“Just go! get outta here!” Steve screamed trying to get them to safety.

“NO NOT WITHOUT YOU!” Bucky shrieked. It was clear he was going nowhere without his best friend and Deanna stood with him. She would not allow the man she loved to die that day.

They saw Steve bending the broken metal of the railing on his side, to clear a path, before backing up running forward and launching himself over.

A giant explosion obscured him from view and for a second the two thought they lost him. Then they heard a loud clang.

He barely made it across, holding onto the railing for dear life. Bucky and Deanna quickly pulled him over and he fell right on top of Deanna.

“Holy Shit Steve.” Deanna whispered as he lay atop her, he was crushing her, but she didn’t care.

Forgetting where they were, Steve brushed a piece of hair out of her face and leaned down. Their lips were almost touching, when they heard Bucky.

“Uh Guys?”

“Right.” Steve said slightly embarrassed, getting up.

Deanna blushed, though no one could tell.

“Let’s go home.” She said and the three of them made their way out the door and into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy that was a long one.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Welcome back Bucky we missed you. 
> 
> It was also really nice to finally have Kevin in the flesh for the first time. 
> 
> Speaking of kevin, yes I decided to have a small portion of the chapter in his POV. the reason being that I absolutely loved the POW escape scene probably my favorite scene of the movie. It felt wrong to cut out a good amount of it just because Steve Deanna and Bucky aren't there to witness it. So here comes kevin as our surrogate to meet the comandos.
> 
> I'm not sure if Kevin will join the Howlies in my story, after all he is engaged and might want nothing more than to go home. but as i wrote his POV he fit in better than I thought he would, so I really don't know.
> 
> My stupid referencing heart can't be stopped, this time from The Good Place. "Not a dame darling." is a play on Janet's classic line of "Not a girl." and "Not a robot."
> 
> I really don't have too much else to say. I'm going to let the chapter speak for itself.
> 
> Leave a comment, Concrit is welcomed and encouraged.


	16. Six Hours.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the mission a success, Steve and Deanna take some time to reflect.

It was a long march back.

The trio reunited with the rest of men in the clearing as they promised. They were impressed though not surprised when they found the giant field of destruction that the soldiers had left behind.

Both the transponders were destroyed, Steve's had been shot through and Deanna's fell into the fire as she and Bucky crossed the beam. They would have to make it back on foot.

Despite being the middle of the night Steve was adamant about getting a-move on. Deanna could understand why, it was probably for the best to get out of enemy territory as soon as possible. However, after several hours, and what had to have been almost fifteen miles, it became clear to her that these men needed they rest.

They had commandeered a number of tanks, so those who absolutely couldn't walk were given the transportation they needed, but there weren’t enough to carry everyone, so several men who shouldn't be on their feet, were forced to walk anyways.

She heard several of them saying they needed to stop, just for a second, she even saw a few of them collapse. 

“Uh Steve, I think we should set up camp.”

“Not until we’re out of enemy territory.” He replied.

“Steve be reasonable, the factory was thirty miles inside, we got there in a plane, we don’t have that option here. It would take at least half a day to get the whole way back. We need to stop. I’m putting my foot down.”

“We have to keep going.”

“No Steve. Just look at these men, they’ve been stuck in prison for god knows how long, they're hungry and tired a d they just fought an impromptu battle, it’s the middle of the night, for fuck’s sakes.”

“We made it fifteen miles already.”

“And they’ll be dead before we make it to twenty. Even I need a break, heck you need rest, too. We may be stronger, but we’re still human. And if not for me than for Bucky. You said it yourself, he was strapped to a goddamn table being tortured! Let him rest!”

Steve groaned.

“You really know how to push people’s buttons.” He said.

“I’m serious. We need to stop. It’s not an option.”

“Alright fine, I guess you’re right we’re far enough from the base to be safe for a few hours.”

“I know, six hours that’s all I ask and we’ll be back on our feet, but right now we need to rest.”

"Yes Ma'am".

* * *

After what felt like an eternity they managed to get across to the men that they would be stopping for the night and to settle in. It was a welcomed announcement to say the least. 

When all was said and done Deanna made her way back to the head of the formation. She found Steve sitting on the edge of a tree leaning against the trunk. He seemed pretty tired.

She had gotten his word but his face showed told her another story. He was still looking pretty worried.

"Hi there Stranger." She said.

"Oh hi."

"So listen, I hope I didn't come off as too strong when I told you we needed to stop. I just wanted..."

"No no of course not. You were trying to to help these men. I know that. And Deanna one of the reasons I love you is because you don't care how strong you come off. You don't take any crap from anyone, not even me, and I'm glad you don't."

"Steve, thank you. But I need to know, you still seem so, I don't know you seem to have real bad case of the blues. So what's going on?"

"I guess... I don't know, It's just all really crazy. To start, I'm scared we could get caught but that's the least of our troubles, I'm worried about Bucky, we still don't know what was done to him. Also we all almost died. And now it's in our hands to get all these men back to safety. Now don't misunderstand me, I don't regret doing this one bit." he said looking down at the ground

"Me neither."

"Yeah I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I guess I'm just a bit in over my head. I mean just a few hours ago we were doing yet another stupid show."

"You can say that again. Seriously though Steve, I'm in the same boat. I feel like I'm going to keel over any second, and the only reason I'm still standing is... actually, I don't even know why, hey we did this, we really did. I think we have a right to be proud of ourselves for this maybe just a little bit."

"Maybe?" He said, still staring at the ground.

"Hey look at me." She said

He obliged and She leaned up and gave him an quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you Steve. Remember that, I love you and you're not in this alone."

He held her close for a moment and sighed. 

"I love you too."

* * *

Steve knew Deanna was right. Still it didn’t make him any less worried about spending the night in enemy territory. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep, probably wouldn’t be able to until they got back to base, and even when they did, he had no clue how much shit they would be in with Phillips when they got back.

Though she had been reluctant to leave him, Steve had told Deanna that he was okay with her going off to find her brother. Finally relenting, she walked down into the campsite, leaving him alone for the time being

His head was so noisy and scattered, that he was taken by surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey buddy. You doin’ okay?”

It was Bucky.

“I feel like I should be the one asking you that.” Steve mused.

“Nothin’ stoppin’ you.” Bucky replied.

“True, so are you doin’ okay?”

“I’m fine really, tired as hell and sore but okay.”

Steve wasn’t really convinced but he would leave it alone for now. No use driving him away with unwanted questions.

“Good to hear, and to answer your question, I guess I just feel really out of my depth, this is literally the first time I’ve done something like this and same with Deanna.”

“Well no shit. But for what had to have been a crazy last-minute cockamamie plan, it worked, you got us out, all of us.”

“Thanks Buck, I really missed you.”

“Me too buddy.”

The two hugged for a short moment, before letting go and awkwardly staring off into space for a few seconds.

“So, you and that girl, Dena?”

“Deanna. Yeah.”

“How long?”

“Three months.”

“Wow. Have you two, you know?”

“Yeah. One night after a show. It had been a long day and we both couldn’t sleep. It just felt right.”

“Good for you, Steve, didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Okay what now? You have a girl who loves you, a beautiful one at that, and from what I can tell you love her, I mean you two were seconds away from kissing in an exploding factory. What could possibly be the problem?”

“I know. I do love Deanna, so much, but there’s someone else too.”

“That’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d hear coming out of your mouth. What’s happening here?”

“Her name’s Peggy and we met boot camp. That’s also where I got to know Deanna, and well, they both I don’t know, they were the only people who saw me when everyone else ignored me or antagonized me. Then Deanna and I got stuck in the show circuit, while the rest of the army left us behind looking for Hydra and Peggy had to go with them. I just can’t help but feel that if the situation were reversed, I’d be with her, and Deanna would be the one I was wondering about. And I don't know what I should do, I mean don't Deanna getting hurt.”

“Wow, I must be dreaming.”

“Buck, come on, really?”

“Sorry Steve. Look all I can say is don’t do anything stupid.”

“You actually got a point this time, both of them could probably kick my ass.”

* * *

Deanna wandered through the men looking for her brother. She had been squeezing her way through tired men for over half an hour when she finally spotted her brother amongst some of the men they met upon freeing them.

“Kev?”

“Hey Sis.”

“There you are I’ve been looking for you.”

“Yeah I know. Sorry. So, what happened?”

“Oh, you know the usual, mowing through goons before running through an exploding magic bomb factory, hoping we don’t get burned alive.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not, I’ll tell you more later.”

“Yeah. You know how long it is back to base?”

“We’re about half way there so about five or six more hours walking.”

“Great.”

“I know. Can’t be helped. We had transponders but I lost mine trying not to fall to my death and Steve’s was shot through.”

“Yeah I had a feeling trekking thirty miles wasn’t exactly part of the plan.”

“There was no plan. Steve and I decided to do this when we found you and Sergeant Barnes were among the list of killed or captured. We had a little help, but it was only two people and they were breaking the rules too.”

“Sound like you.”

Deanna shrugged.

“So, what exactly happened to you? Last time I checked you were small and pale and skinny.” Kevin asked, finally acknowledging that elephant in the room.

“I volunteered for an experiment, so did Steve as well, it changed us, made us so that we became the peak of human potential. You should have seen Steve before, just four months ago he was nearly all foot shorter, ninety-five pounds soaking wet and scrawnier than me.”

“Okay? Then how come this procedure hasn’t gone mainstream. If there was a breakthrough like this I figured everyone would be busting down doors to get this done to themselves.”

Deanna’s face fell.

“Hydra killed Dr. Erskine, he was the man who created the serum used on us. After we had our procedure, a Hydra mole blew up the lab and shot him. After he was held hostage by the Nazis, Erskine didn’t trust anyone with his serum and kept his work a secret, so when he died the formula died with him.”

“You seem pretty upset about this, Sis.”

“I am. I didn’t know Erskine for long, only a few months, but he, I don’t know, he reminded me of dad a bit, and was one of the few people who saw past my sex and accepted me, so you know losing him hit hard.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, before Deanna finally broke it, unable to handle said awkwardness.

“So, when we get back do you think the army will let you go home?” She asked.

“No clue. Odds are probably not. I was still drafted and my service still isn’t up. God knows what kind of strain his is putting on Helen.”

Deanna sucked in another breath. Why did she had to be the bearer of more bad news?

“Deanna what’s going on?” He asked.

“Helen wasn’t doing so well when I saw her last. Don't worry she’s fine physically, but she’s just very, I don't know, empty right now, she misses you a lot. It's hard for her to enjoy her life right now.”

Kevin sighed.

“I had a feeling something like this would happen, I knew she goes through these episodes of melancholy, went through a bad one when we got the news.”

“I could imagine that. This whole thing is so unfair.”

“I wish I could go to her, sweep her off her feet and tell her how much I love her. Face to face and not through another letter. But it can’t be helped. Still while I’ll probably have to go back to the front, I do think I’ve probably earned some leave.” he said his voice perking up at the idea of leave

"They better give you some, they'd be assholes if they didn't."

“Hey Bradford! Quit hogging that sister of yours and let us meet the family!” the Mustachioed soldier yelled from the crowd

“Oh, sorry Dugan.” Kevin said.

Deanna walked up to meet these men. She was a little on edge. She was still wearing that blasted corset and it wasn’t exactly a modest outfit to say the least, and she knew that these soldiers weren’t above harassing her, but she did help save them maybe it would good to get to know them?

“Hi boys. You feeling okay?” Deanna said at a bit of a loss for words.

The black soldier was the first to speak.

“I’m feeling fine, Ma’am. Name’s Gabe Jones by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Jones.” She said.

“So?” The British soldier asked, “are you really called the American Maide?”

“It’s a stage name, just call me Deanna. Speaking of names what should I call the rest of you?”

“That’s Dernier.” Jones said pointing to the small French man. “Over there is Morita.” He said referring to the Japanese soldier. “Mr. Stiff Upper Lip is Falsworth.”

“And the big guy?” She asked.

“Timothy Dugan, my dear.” The bowler hat wearing soldier replied, before aggressively shaking her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Deanna said now smiling.

“The pleasures all ours, you saved us.” Dugan said with gratitude.

"Well It wasn’t just me." Then an idea popped into her head. "Hey boys come with me I have someone to introduce you to." 

* * *

“Hey Steve.” Deanna yelped getting his attention.

“Oh hey. Did you find your bro...wait who are these fellas? What’s goin’ on?”

“Steve I think I found us some backup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know pretty low key.
> 
> We needed some time to decompress after that crazy ride at the Hydra base. 
> 
> Don't worry we'll be getting back to the plot soon, I know this was kinda filler, though I also think it was good character interaction.
> 
> not much else to say.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and leave a comment if you feel like it all feedback is welcome.


	17. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna comes to realize that her life has been permanently altered, both for good and for bad.

“Well I hope that’s a big comfort to you when they shut this division down.”

Peggy stood in the command tent as Phillips chewed her out. Her career was over, she knew that, she had probably got her friends killed in an unauthorized suicide mission. However, she wasn’t ashamed of what she had done. She knew it had been the right move and that Rogers and Bradford would hate her if she caved. Yes, she messed up and she knew that but even in the face of this giant blunder, she would keep her head held high. The only question was where to go from here?

She was bracing for the official word of her dishonorable discharge when they heard excited shouts growing in volume outside.

“What the hell’s going out there?”

The Colonel marched out and she followed him out, finding the soldiers lined up on either side of the dirt road that led to the entrance of camp and marching up was the entire 107th, with stolen weapons and tanks with Rogers and Bradford leading the pack.

“Look who it is!” Someone yelled.

They triumphantly marched their way up crossing the barrier, earning cheers and applause. Before finally stopping to greet a stone-faced Phillips.

Steve immediately saluted his superior and Deanna followed suit.

“Some of these me need medical attention. And I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.”

“I as well” Deanna added.

The Colonel however had other plans.

“That won’t be necessary.” He said before smiling at them.

“Yes sir.” Steve responded.

He walked off patting Peggy on the shoulder muttering something about faith, before she walked up to take his place.

“Well you two are certainly quite late.” She said.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Deanna said amused.

Steve pulled out his broken transponder.

“Couldn’t call our ride.”

Peggy couldn’t help but gaze at Steve feeling completely in awe of him, though he knew she shouldn’t be.

She had picked up on his relationship with Deanna almost immediately upon their reunion, they hadn’t had time to really discuss it, but she knew. The last thing she wanted to be was a homewrecker, it was one thing to break off her own engagement, it was another thing entirely to insert herself into someone else’s just because she had feelings for a person inside it, no matter how much she wanted him, especially considering how much she cared about Deanna as well.

However, it was very difficult to keep those feeling to herself and she knew she was slipping up now. To keep herself from digging herself any deeper, she forced herself to avert her gaze and decided to wrap Deanna in an embrace. She was so proud of her friend anyways.

“Peggy? What are you doing?”

“What I can’t hug my friend?”

Deanna simply laughed in response.

“Hey Let’s hear it for Captain America and The American Maide!” Bucky yelled to rile up the crowd. The men circled around them and broke out into an even more thunderous applause. There were several salutes raised helmets pats on the back them on the shoulders. 

“Oh my god.” Deanna whispered, not really wanting the attention, however she knew her days of privacy were already long gone. Besides if she had to be a celebrity at least from now on it would be it would be because of this, an act of heroism and bravery, not over the top propaganda shows. She just closed her eyes and soaked it all in.

* * *

The next few weeks passed by. They were supposed to be awarded with the Medal of Honor. Deanna was actually somewhat excited to receive such an accolade, though Steve, dear Steve talked her out of going.

"What do you mean you don't think we should go?" She asked flabbergasted.

"We did what we did because it was the right thing to do, not for some award. And we're needed here anyways, going all the way back to New York just for a medal seems like a waste of time. Look I won't stop you from going if that's what you want And if you want to go, that's fine, but my mind is made up and besides I think it's time we got off the press circuit if you ask me." he replied

Deanna couldn't really argue with that. She really did not like being plastered all over the papers.

"You have a good point. It's probably for the best that we stay out of the spotlight as much a we can."

However there was one ceremony that they could not avoid and that was the one where Steve and Deanna would named official captains. Originally Deanna wasn't going to be given such a ranking, they offered her the rank of lieutenant, but Steve, Peggy and even Phillips went to bat for her to receive the proper promotion. Steve flat out said that would not accept the ranking if Deanna would not be getting the same one.

"We planned it together, we executed it together, if it wasn't for her it wouldn't have happened at all. So, you have one of two options, you either give her the same rank as me, or you can forget about promoting your “golden boy” altogether." Were his exact words. 

And so there they were, standing in that small room, decked out in full dress uniform at the main army base in London. 

Steve had gone first and had just finished getting his new insignia pin fastened to his uniform. Now it was her turn. 

"Bradford step forward please." Phillips instructed her.

She obeyed.

"Attention Orders, The President of the United States has proposed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, valor, fidelity and the ability of Deanna Florence Bradford, in beauteous qualities and her demonstrative potential for increased responsibilities, she is therefore promoted to the rank of Captain."

Phillips gave his consent and pinned her new insignia to her uniform.

She shook his hand.

"Thank you, Colonel." She said.

"Congratulations Captain." He said.

They were presented with certificates and the members of the small audience began to burst into applause.

Bucky, Kevin, Peggy and Howard Stark were there, obviously, but also Mavis, Helen and even her mother were there as well, having been flown in by Stark (possibly as a way to win her affection). Her mother wasn't happy about the path her daughter had taken and having been lied to about by Helen, but she couldn't deny that she was proud of her daughter, if only for saving her brother.

Steve had no desire to give anymore speeches. He was good at them, but today he wanted his actions to stand out not this words, Deanna on the other hand, decided she wanted to share a few thoughts and stepped up to the podium.

"I would like address everyone in this room who has joined us today. Many of you I haven't seen in a long time and some of you I do not know as well as others, but I like to think that our circumstances brought us together for a reason. I know some of you had to go through some rough times in order to be here today and I know this wasn't the path that was expected of me. Growing up never even dreamed that something like this was going to happen to me, and I thought that my dreams of being a writer were a stretch. However, this path has freed captives, reunited loved ones, and after so long of living through misery we truly have something to celebrate and I am so grateful to be able to be standing here today with everyone here today so thank you.

She stepped down from the podium, before joining her loved ones.

She spoke to her mother first wanting to get it out of the way.

She was a bit surprised when Ellie pulled her daughter in for a hug.

"Thank you, mother." She said somewhat surprised.

"You look good Birdie, much healthier."

"I assume you were briefed on why."

"I was.”

“You don’t approve, do you?”

“You really chose to subject yourself to that? It could have killed you and I wouldn't have had the chance to say goodbye."

"I know, and I know that this isn't what you wanted mother, but I'm not sorry for what I did. These were my risks to take and I chose to take them."

"I didn't think you would be. And besides it's not as if I can really stop it now anyway. I suppose if you must be doing these garish things at least it brought us our Kevin back. And I see you finally found a good man as well, that Steven is a quite a catch. I'm looking forward to the wedding."

Deanna doubted she'd be saying the same thing about Steve if they had met before the serum, but she let it go, there was no use arguing over something that never even happened.

"Well I wish you well mother and thank you for putting your feelings aside to come here for me today."

"Your welcome Birdie." and with that she walked away. 

Deanna them made her way over to a newly reunited Kevin and Helen.

"So, looks like you got be together sooner than anticipated.” Deanna said slightly amused.

“Guess so, and I just got the word I’ve been cleared for two weeks of leave.”

“Oh, Kevin that’s great! You’ve earned it!”

“And you’ve earned this Dee!” Helen said hugging Deanna.

“Thank you, Helen, I just wanted to know how have you been, last time we talked you weren’t exactly in the best place.”

“I’ll be honest I’m not completely better, this melancholy as Kevin here likes to call it didn’t just go away when I saw him again, but I’m taking it one day at a time and I’m dealing. And I’m still so happy for you today

“Thanks Helen I wish you the best. And seriously when’s the wedding?”

“Actually, about that.” Kevin said fidgeting with his finger. “

At city hall, earlier this week. We were hoping to do it while were all together. But also, this was your day and we didn’t want to steal your thunder and at this point we just wanted to get it out of the way.”

Deanna was shocked.

“Oh, congratulations you two.” She said, trying to mask the hurt in her voice.

“Are you okay?” Her brother asked.

Deanna nodded. “I’m going to go say hello to Mavis, haven’t seen her in so long.” She added to cover, as she moved on over to her friend.

How could they do that? This was something they were supposed to do as a family. She was fine with them getting married at the courthouse, that wasn't the problem, however she would have liked to have been included especially after all they had been through together. She thought that they were family. maybe they were just so happy to be reunited that they couldn't help themselves, but still. 

Trying to put her hurt aside Deanna raided her arm and waved at Mavis.

“Hey lady!” Deanna almost squealed. 

Mavis saw her friend and moved in for a hug. 

"I told you that you would show those boys what's what!" Mavis beamed, truly happy for her friend.

"I guess I did.” Deanna said, briefly forgetting her earlier unpleasant feelings. “But god I really missed you.”

"Me too. It hasn't really been the same since you left."

"Well this war will end eventually. And I'll be home before you know it."

“Sure thing.” Mavis said without any real emotion, as if she was hiding something.”

Deanna felt a little perturbed by her friend rather cold answer. She couldn’t understand what was going on.

“Um alright. Mavis is there something you need to tell me?”

“Not here. This is your day and I won’t spoil it.”

“I appreciate that, but I’d rather just hear it now. You’re only going to send me down a rabbit hole of terrible what ifs if you don’t tell me Mavis. Please for me?”

Mavis pursed her lips before looking up at the worried face of of her friend. 

“Alright. But not here can we go somewhere private?” Mavis relented.

“Absolutely.” Deanna answered.

She ushered Mavis out of the room and lead her friend down the hall and into an abandoned meeting room.

Deanna closed the doors and blinds making sure they were alone before asking, “So, what is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

“My grandmother has gotten ill and once I get back to the United States, My Mother, brother and I are moving down to Louisiana to take care of her. I’m leaving New York, so I won’t be there when you get back. I’m so sorry Deanna. I didn’t want it to be like this but it just happened.”

A lump formed in Deanna's throat.

“Oh Maive.”

“I know, I know. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“It’s not your fault. I'm not mad at you. Though I’d be lying if I said I was happy about it. I know I wanted to do this, to come and fight for my country and I don't regret it at all, but I guess part of me was hoping that things would just go back to normal eventually, but that was naive of me.”

“Understandable.”

Deanna turned away from her friend as she let it all sink in.

“Things really have changed.” She sighed.

“They really have.” Mavis agreed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait. I've been going through a rough time as of late and my motivation has gone out the window. But the muse finally hit again and I'm back. 
> 
> This was my chance to really bring back Deanna's old life in full including her mother who we haven't seen outside of flashbacks since the first chapter.
> 
> And Mavis dear Mavis. I don't plan on using her much more but I want you all to know that she has not been forgotten.
> 
> And yes Deanna's promotion to captain is in fact the real life speech given to captains upon their promotion. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed


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